Dance parties in Los Angeles and Miami mixed with a little surf fever? Who doesn't like?

Oliver Kurtz is a professional surfer of much talent with the best dance party connections. When he is caught in an elevator of a baroque hotel during Miami Music Week he tells of experiences that would tease the reader in the most satisfying way. But everything of note is rendered off the record when Kurtz has a pang of regret at interview’s end. He says, “I have to be super cautious ’cause I don’t wanna say too much but obviously I don’t wanna say too little. I’m super worried about this stuff revolving all around partying and that kinda scene. It’s a big part of my life but I don’t wanna be known as the guy who surfs and parties and no one can take serious.” We take you serious! All drug-club-party references gone, mostly. Let’s get real!

BEACHGRIT: Have you seen drug use during Miami Music Week?

OLIVER: Oh! yeah, of course! Are you kidding me? I mean, the classic ones like coke and molly. But, you know, for the record, we don’t do those…

BEACHGRIT: I heard you were the cleanest of livers. Me too! Tell me, how did you get entwined in the club scene?

OLIVER: My brother got me introduced into this whole crazy lifestyle. And I love it. The lavish parties, all day and all night, like here in Miami right now. My brother DJ’d a party that started at eight in the morning.

BEACHGRIT: Where do you live?

OLIVER: As stupid and cliched as it sounds, I don’t live anywhere at the moment. My brother puts me up in LA where I have my car and where all the surf companies are. I’m sleeping on the floor of his bedroom. I have a sleeping bag and a pillow. I don’t have a cot. I don’t have anything. Him and his roommates are rad. They runniest the biggest music blog in the world (gottadance30.com) and run all these massive events.

BEACHGRIT: Tell me about this super dance-y DJ apartment…

OLIVER: It’s right at LA airport, a  four-bedroom, two-bath penthouse. with two living rooms. They got it for a steal  because of the airplane noise all day. All the time there’s one of those fucking airbuses flying to Oz or New Zealand or Europe. There’s a recording studio in the apartment too. It’s a fucking sick zone. It’s such a cool world and so different to what most surfers are accustomed to.

BEACHGRIT: What’s your favourite club in LA?

OLIVER: It comes down to what you want to accomplish. You can go to a progressive club or you can go to a big like Emerson that plays songs that girls know, those places where the models get to party with celebrities and they get their little Instagrams and their free bottles and their free drugs. I like good music in down and city clubs like Sound. But LA compared to Miami? It’s not even close.

BEACHGRIT: What’s been your most enjoyable club experience?

OLIVER: When I was 16 my brother took me out for the first time in Miami. I come from a tiny town in Florida where the guys pulling the chicks are rednecks and so I don’t pull chicks there, and I was rolling in this club with, and still to this day, four of the most beautiful girls I’d seen in my life. We were treated like royalty everywhere we went. Another time, me and my friend were with TSO all night in LA. And when TSO is in a club, the owner clears out the VIP section. So it was me, my friend, TSO and three girls in our own VIP area. We’d stay 20 minutes and then beat it. But last night was a wild night, too. There’s always something.

BEACHGRIT: What’s been your longest bender?

OLIVER: Oh god! These questions are tearing me to pieces! Yeah, like any other20 year old I’ve had my benders but I don’t think I’ll tell the truth on that one.

BEACHGRIT:  How about the Nazi, World War II chic you were into a few years back?

OLIVER: The World War II uniforms? My grandparents fought in World War II and there was stuff lying around the house and I tried wearing it and blew it out. I love the colour black and I have an offset fashion sense. I’m sure not about the Nazi life. I’m signed to a clothing company (the fabulous Brixton) but I put my own twist on things.

BEACHGRIT: What’s the biggest lie you’ve said to steal a gal…

OLIVER: I’m not that kinda guy. It more, pisses me of more than anything to say something you’re not to try and bang a chick. It’s the most pathetic thing in the world. if a girl doesn’t like your personality and how you look and what comes out of your damn mouth, saying something you’re not is the biggest fucking lie in the world.

BEACHGRIT: What’s the weirdest thing you’ve seen in Florida?

OLIVER: Dude, I’m from the south where they still fly confederate flags on their trucks. It depends on what you think is fucked up because I have a lot of friends who do a lot of weird things.

BEACHGRIT: If we’re going to talk about pals, let’s talk about your pal-ship with Taj Burrow. What do you like about being his friend?

OLIVER:  It’s rad because we always joke about him being my babysitter. We met in Tahiti for the first time and I was psyched we were able to hit it off. Friendship and why people like each other is hard to explain. I have no idea why we’ve become such good friends. Obviously we have the same interests. And he surfs great, he’s super successful, interested in investments, such an inspiring person to hang with day to day.

BEACHGRIT: What’s the most fucked-up you’ve been on a flight?

OLIVER: I have my Xanax here and there but I’m not like Wardo who has to be tied down to his seat. I like to keep as private a profile as possible so I’m never super flamboyant.

BEACHGRIT: Tell me your best celebrity hookup?

OLIVER:  That’s another one that I haven’t been able to tell anyone, yeah… I’ve hooked up with a pretty famous model but it’s not one that… I’m sorry, I can’t… I’m sorry, I can’t it’s too personal. She has a boyfriend so I’m not even going close to it.

BEACHGRIT:  Is she American or European?

OLIVER: She’s American.

BEACHGRIT: Under or over 30?

OLIVER: Under 30.

BEACHGRIT: Yellow or brown hair?

OLIVER: I’m not telling! It’s a secret. You gotta have secrets!

BEACHGRIT: What are you serious about?

OLIVER: Surfing’s a respect thing and if you don’t have respect you don’t have anything. Sponsors might pay someone hundreds of thousands of dollars but if you don’t have respect you’re a joke.

BEACHGRIT: So how do you get that respect?

OLIVER: That’s why I’m working hard to surf waves that are out of my comfort zone and that provoke, case in point going to Hawaii or surfing Ours the other day. I don’t wanna be known as a joke. I want to be taken seriously.

BEACHGRIT: Tell me how you live, philosophically…

OLIVER:  It’s all about having an open outlook and being available and having fun. Keep your plans open, don’t expect anything and be ready for anything. And don’t be a little bitch.

(Editor’s note: this interview appears in issue 74 of Stab magazine, a surf title with much sophistication and graphic jazzmatazz…)