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Bizarro: Mayhem for snowboarding!

Chas Smith

by Chas Smith

It's a mixed up world!

I’m up to my eyeballs in snow and it is grand. Perfect for Christmas. My thighs ache from days on the hill but my spirit soars. The only problem is that my surf brain is barely crawling. I’m thinking about powder, you see, instead of swell. And also, all my wonderful surf friends are on vacation and so the Coconut Wireless don’t ring.

Except there is a glorious intersection! Did you know Matt Biolos is a total pow hound? He has a home in Mammoth and gets his winter shred on. My best pal Derek Rielly spent time with him and spoke of all the hiking and hunting for untracked lines and riding.

Mr. Biolos is so fond of snowboarding that he has a Mayhem x Lib Tech collaboration! It is a round nose fish, of course. The mountain website evo says:

You’ll have the most fun on the mountain if your ride received the personal treatment from Matt Biolos. With Matt’s help, the Lib Tech x Mayhem Round Nose Fish XC2 BTX Snowboard brings rippers a missile for the entire mountain. With 630 square inches of planing surface and a knife cut sintered base, this board can carve its way out of ice or heavier snow. The XC2 balances out rocker and camber so float and edge contact can peacefully coexist. Translation – you can rip this thing in any condition. The UHMW sidewalls and impact deflection will keep your board strong season after season. If you have an insatiable appetite for carving and speed, the Lib Tech x Mayhem Round Nose Fish XC2 BTX Snowboard is your compadre.

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And I think I need one now. For sure I need one.

Lib Tech, in case you don’t know anything, make the finest snowboards in the biz. By far. I ride one and it goes very well but I’ll do a better review once I get my round nose fish. In any case, Lib also makes a surfboard but they call it a waterboard and I think I need one of those now too. I’ve only heard wonderful things but I’ll also do a better review once I get one of those too. Merry Christmas me (maybe)!

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All to say, how great that seemingly opposite pursuits share such wonderful people? And if you don’t snowboard you should. It costs $100000000 but it is worth every penny. Also Gerry Lopez does and he has never done anything wrong in his life.

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P.S. Did you know that The Inertia has The Inertia Mountain, a snowboarding site or maybe just include tons of snowboarding into their existing site? Don’t worry. No one else did either. I’m just letting you know that BeachGrit is not so bold as to regularly fold snow into surf. This is a one-off! Until I get my round nose fish and then it’ll be a two-off!

Gimme: Strider’s Malibu Beach Shack!

Derek Rielly

by Derek Rielly

Your favourite commentator Strider Wasilewski in today’s New York Times… 

There are many reasons to fall in love with the WSL commentator Strider Wasilewski. Shall we list the ways?

His now famous attack dog tits, a surf career that included a sponsorship by Quiksilver and a place in the Pipe hierarchy , as well as his rise from the skate ghetto of Dogtown, and now, at the age of 42, a man with the elasticity and balance of an adolescent.

Is there more?

Yes!

As a 14-year-old surfing prodigy, Strider Wasilewski used to hunt the crowded Southern California coast for quiet surf spots. One of his favorites was Little Dume Beach, near Point Dume in Malibu, a crescent of sand half-hidden in a cove at the bottom of steep bluffs.

In today’s New York Times, Strider’s Point Dume house, nicknamed “the barn” is profiled in detail, including a photo gallery.

Let’s read.

“As a 14-year-old surfing prodigy, Strider Wasilewski used to hunt the crowded Southern California coast for quiet surf spots. One of his favorites was Little Dume Beach, near Point Dume in Malibu, a crescent of sand half-hidden in a cove at the bottom of steep bluffs.

‘It was an untouchable area,’ gated off and accessible only to local residents, Mr. Wasilewski said. But he heard about a family that kept their gate open. ‘They lived right by the trail,’ he said. ‘I used to run through their yard. They would yell at me.;

“Lily Harfouche, a real estate agent and occasional surfer who spent part of her childhood in Malibu, ran through the same yard with her teenage friends to get to the beach. ‘You go down there, and it’s you and a handful of people,’ Ms. Harfouche said. ‘It’s so incredibly beautiful.’

“These days, Mr. Wasilewski, 42, and Ms. Harfouche, 36, are married (they met at a reggae concert on the Santa Monica Pier) and live with their three young sons on Point Dume, in a simple open-plan house they call ‘the barn’. But it took the couple several years and several moves to arrive at their childhood stomping grounds and their pared-down life.”

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The main living space is basically one large white room with 18-foot ceilings and tall windows. “The room isn’t gigantic in terms of square footage,” Mr. Wasilewski said, “so the air and the whiteness gave it an endless feeling.”

How did he afford such a dazzling house?

“Their first place was farther down the coast in Venice, where years ago Mr. Wasilewski had bought two rundown bungalows on the same property. When he was off in Hawaii or elsewhere chasing big waves, Ms. Harfouche looked after the homes. The couple fixed them up and eventually sold them, discovering a shared interest in home renovation and real estate.

“They next moved to Malibu, where they repeated the buy-fix-sell process three more times. Mr. Wasilewski’s surfing buddies, many of them tradesmen, were drafted as the work crew. And Ms. Harfouche, who spent part of her childhood in small New York apartments (her parents were actors), began yearning for a big house.

“So with their profits, the couple bought a place on a one-acre lot on Point Dume, took it down to the studs and created a dream home on the hillside…”

Read the full story here! 

Mason: “Merry Xmas Motherfuckers!”

Rory Parker

by Rory Parker

Who does a North Shore Christmas better than Mason Ho?

 

Mason Ho and the hell that is the area between Rockpiles and Log Cabins are a never ending source of joy. Toss a Santa hat in the mix and you’ve got a beautiful spice for your egg nog.

Here’s to wishing you all a dominant Chronica!

I’ve got a lot of cooking ahead of me today. Our Chronica feast is going to be especially lovely, the Safeway had a sale on lobster tails (only $5 each!), so I bought the lot.

People in line behind me were pretty bummed, which fits perfectly with the spirit of the holiday.

Dear Santa: Lemme be a cool guy!

Chas Smith

by Chas Smith

The Inertia writers have one wish for Christmas. Help Santa! Or The Mad Hueys!

Christmas is just the dreamiest of times. The world covered in a blanket of fresh snow represents pure possibility! Anything can happen. The lion can lie down with the lamb. The stone cold surf journalistics can become super cool chillazzz.

How does this last one happen? Ask The Inertia staff writers ‘cuz Santa be busy!

First, apparently, use a word that the kids were using two years ago in the title. Like “ham.”

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Second, employ regional slang like “shoeys” ? because the kids know that you down with foreign culturez, girlfriend.

Third, write about Australia’s Mad Hueys lots. They hip, yeah? They drankin the beerz and they girlfrienz gettin the titties out!

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Fourth, be the home of thinking surfers!

And then dizzzzone my homies. Cool is as cool does. And now you cool as ice!

Worst Wipeout Ever: “I Thought I Was Gone!”

Derek Rielly

by Derek Rielly

Behind the scenes of Point Break’s pivotal wipeout sequence… 

Does the animal vitality of the new Point Break film excite you?

For one year, I’ve followed the travails of the remake, ever since the Australian Laurie Towner hit the Teahupoo reef, sprung his jaw in two and was saved by Laird Hamilton.

As BeachGrit reported back then, “Such an event doesn’t come without casualties, even with Laurie excepted. Poto’s ski sunk ’cause of a too-heavy camera attached to it and another ski was flipped and the 200-gee camera strapped onto the sled was drowned. There was even a fight! At least according to one photographer. ‘It’s been a hilarious couple of days with Hollywood trying to shut it off to the locals which failed miserably, Hawaiian water patrol flipping skis, a fight out the back amongst a couple of very well-known riders and basically all the superstar riders being dominated by a 16-year-old local Manoa Drollet’s little bro, Matahi.’

Anyway, the film’s pivotal wipeout scene, at the front half of the movie when Utah drops in on Bodhi, was filmed at Pedra Branca, the name of a lil island 26 clicks off Tasmania’s South East Cape. The surfer is James Hollmer Cross whose oxygen was restricted for longer than was comfortable, as he explains in the short below.

Pedro Branca, Portuguese for White Rock, is a helluva joint to go surfing. Heavier than Shipstern Bluff maybe you ask?

Don’t look at me. I dislike these kinda places on every level.

How about we ask the filmmaker Tim Bonython whose vision of Jame’s wipeout was sold to the filmmakers of Point Break?

“By a long shot,” says Bonython. “Thicker and more grunt. Raw! I showed it at my surf movie festival and as I was working on Point Break in Tahiti, the director asked me if I had any big-wave wipeouts, but not from Hawaii. They wanted it looking dark and scary, as it’s set in Europe not Tahiti.”

Do you like seeing a man dragged to a complete, utter, hopeless, bogged-down end? Watch!

Oh, and for Chas Smith’s review of the movie, read here…