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Boom: WSL #1 partner explodes faces!

Chas Smith

by Chas Smith

The WSL's only partner, Samsung, makes a trick phone! Fun or no?

It is impossible not to know that Samsung and the World Surf League are best of friends. The Korean conglomerate known for clothes dryers, forklifts, baby monitors and cellular telephones is the sole sponsor of professional surfing’s championship tour (aside from Jeep Leaderboard). Should we watch a commercial? But of course!

Wonderful! Touching! Poetic even! Charlie Medina communicating with his young stepson via Samsung’s powerful Galaxy 7. Sending lonely but proud Gabi text messages like HIT THE LIP WITH MORE POWER (except in Portuguese) or VAI MEDINA!

But do you know what Gabi should text back?

DROP THE PHONE AND RUN, CHUCK! YOUR GALAXY IS GOING TO EXPLODE YOUR FACE! LIKE SOME JAMES BOND STUNT! ONLY WORSE! FAR WORSE! YOU’LL BE UNABLE TO SMILE FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE!

RUUUUUUUUUUUNNNNNN!

VAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIII!

And it’s true! Have you read the news? Let’s now! The newly respected USA Today writes:

Power down your Samsung Galaxy Note 7 phone now.

Whether you’ve hung onto the original Note 7 or exchanged it for one of the replacement devices, Samsung and federal regulators are urging consumers to turn the device off because some of the phones — including replacement units — are overheating when charged.

“No one should have to be concerned their phone will endanger them, their family or their property,” U.S. Consumer Products Safety Commission Chairman Elliot Kaye said in a statement emailed to USA TODAY. “Due to the ongoing safety concerns associated with Galaxy Note 7 phones, it is the right move for Samsung to suspend the sale and exchange of all Galaxy Note 7s.”

The South Korean electronics giant, meanwhile, issued a statement late Monday, in which it asked “all carrier and retail partners globally to stop sales and exchanges of the Galaxy Note7 while the investigation is taking place.”

And do you think WSL CEO Paul Speaker has powered his Samsung Galaxy 7 down? Has it maybe already singed his cheek? Did Graham Stapelberg come running with an ice pack and caressing words?

“There there Mr. CEO, sir. It’s ok that our only sponsor is going up in smoke. We’ll get another for sure! 1000000000000000890760000 watch professional surfing, remember?”

I think maybe yes! And I sure do wish BeachGrit had a Graham Stapelberg. What a sweetheart!