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Ouch: Stab in the Back 2016!

Chas Smith

by Chas Smith

Stab magazine oversight spins the Internet into a frenzy of conspiracy and finger pointing!

Do you love Stab‘s Stab in the Dark competition? I do. I think it is one of the best things in our surf world, better than Surfer Poll or The World Surf League’s Rookie of the Year race. I think it is fantastic.

If you are unaware, this is the second and features Dane Reynolds. Last year, Stab in the Dark 2015 featured Julian Wilson. And here’s what happens. The famous surfer is given a full quiver of white performance shortboards shaped by the best artisansĀ in our world. HeĀ rides them each multiple times, I think, then lists his favorites from 1-10 or 1-13 or whatever the case may be.

The winner gets to claim that they are the best shaper in the world, I think. Last year DHD, Chilli and Mayhem ended up one, two and three.

And I love it so much because the shapers have true grit. Such guts! They put their reputations of the line in a very rare way. What if, say, Dane Reynolds picked you last? Would you question your very existence? I would. I truly and really marvel at their willingness to jump into the ring. Rare. And bravo to them.

Last night, Stab thanked all these shapers on Instagram, appropriately, for partaking in the competition which officially ends Thursday night. Except they forgot one.

Dane Reynolds surfboard sponsor Channel Islands!

Uh-oh!

The comments lit up with “Merrick?” “CI?” “What about CI?” “You forgot CI.” etc. etc. etc. The Channel Islands account also weighed in with a “?”

Stab eventually rectified in the comments, claiming that Channel Islands was left off due mechanical Instagram error but it made me wonder. Is there some darker conspiracy involving Sidney Blumenthal? Or possibly Putin himself?

Did the omission have something to do with the greater SurfStitch family of brands (FCS, Stab and Magic Seaweed) trying to drive CI’s price down so that Burton will be inclined to sell at a deep discount?

Is the first half of the ex-handsomest duo in action sport (Justin Cameron and Lex Pedersen) seeking revenge by embarrassing his old company in a well-timed blast?

Have I been reading too much political coverage?

Is there such thing as too much political coverage?

Sidney Blumenthal?

I trust WikiLeakes to divulge the true reason at an appropriate date.