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Just in: Billabong signs Andy Warhol!

Chas Smith

by Chas Smith

Billabong inks the talent out of Cocaine, New York to a reported seven figure deal!

Can you believe it? Can you even start to believe it? Andy Warhol, hottest up and coming grom of our generation, just signed with Billabong!

BILLABONG!

Our sources tell us that Volcom and Quiksilver made heavy plays with Brixton being a dark horse to sign the talented goofy footer out of Cocaine, New York.

And son of a bitch… my head is still spinning with this news. It basically means that John John Florence’s reign is over because have you seen the way Andy Warhol threads a backside tube? Have you seen the tweaked airs he’s been throwing? And by “tweak” I totally mean “speed.” Like, he is ON speed. Like, taking it in both pill and powder form. But also have you seen how inverted he gets?

SON OF A BITCH!

Rumor has it that Warhol has already snagged wild cards for Teahupo’o and Pipe for this year and will likely have enough points to run the full tour next year.

Which events are you most excited to see him at? I’d have to say Fiji. I can totally see him putting on an absolute clinic in plus sized Cloudbreak. But I also can’t wait to watch his tweak game at Trestles. And his video part that is dropping this year should be all time. Like, everyone else is going to be ashamed.

FUCK!

Are you hyped?

I’m hyped.

BILLABONG!

Here’s a sneak peak at his video part (dropping this year).

FUCK!

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