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Just in: We are fucking back!

Chas Smith

by Chas Smith

Vogue magazine declares that surfing is at its apotheosis!

Oh oh OH how we’ve been wandering the desert for the last, like, fifteen years. “Surf is dead!” they say before shutting down our Pac Suns and our Tilly’s and our Depactuses and our ummm Surfing magazines. “The kids don’t want the surf.” they say while tears bubble in our eyes, waiting to pour down our cheeks. “The kids want lifestyle and Bubble Guppies.”

Well you know what? Fuck they! Because today TODAY the bible of fashion said that we WE are cool once again!

Yes, Vogue magazine, fronted by Anna Wintour and never ever to get folded like that lily-livered Surfer just published a story that recognizes our second coming. And let us read:

That surfing has reached its pop culture apotheosis is no secret. Alexander Wang based his entire spring collection off romanticizing the look and feel of sun-bleached surfers; February’s most Instagrammed museum show, “Raymond Pettibon: A Pen of All Work” at the New Museum, featured small, willowy figures bracing themselves in downward diagonals across the face of canvas-sized waves, and this season’s premiere of Girls pivoted around Hannah’s flirtation with the sport, when her editor sends her on assignment to a surf camp in Montauk. Which is to say: Surfing is everywhere and everyone is doing it.

The sport’s sudden surge in popularity means that even far-flung, warm destinations like Sri Lanka, Bali, and the Maldives are becoming nearly shoulder-to-shoulder in daily lineups, pushing the most devoted athletes into inhospitable, chilly territory to avoid bumping their boards against clumsy newcomers. What’s more: Winter is storm season, stirring up activity in the ocean resulting in the most consistent and biggest waves. Serious surfers are after an endless winter, and thanks to leaps and bounds in wet-suit technology—which provides the kind of comfort and mobility in frigid temperatures that was unfathomable even five years ago—they can chase it into colder waters than ever.

And FUCK YOU SURFER!

Wait. What was I writing about? Did Surfer have anything to do with it?

Fuck they!