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Watch: Parker Coffin Has No Sponsor!

Michael Ciaramella

by Michael Ciaramella

Broke and alone!

Confession time. I prefer Parker Coffin’s surfing to that of his sponsored, CT-residing bro.

Of course both Coffin boys modeled their surfing after Santa Babs (area) legends. Conner is a mix of Dane and apparently Curren, though I have trouble seeing the latter. Meanwhile Parker’s flow is reminiscent of surfing’s fav Mexican American, Bobby Martinez. All three icons have made a lasting impression on the surf world, from Curren’s style to Dane’s everything to that fucking tennis tour.

Parker has many things in common with Bobby. There’s the tight stance — super stylish, great for carving maneuvers. There’s the upright posture — super stylish, great for carving maneuvers. There’s the backside lipper — quite explosive, great for big scores. And lastly, there’s the main sponsor — WhiteNose Industries.

It’s true! Ever since tennis tour comments and Volcom’s vicious purge, Santa Bab’s best goofies have been without top-tier contracts. Sure Bobby’s got Monster, but that’s not a real sponsor. Like… they give him money and all, but it’s no Quik/Bill/Rip/Banks Journal. Monster is a halfway-up-the-rail sponsor, not something you’d strive to stain your nose with.

While Conner’s departure from Hurley was a surprise, he was quickly scooped by Rip Curl so no harm no foul. He’s now got two lines of income: CT earnings and a RC salary. Meanwhile, Parker is probably spending more money than he’s winning on the QS and has no major backing to break his fall. It’s a tough life for the QS pro, and to do it all out of pocket is terrifying.

But maybe this edit will change things. Maybe the Quiks/Bills/Rips/Banks Journals of the world will see this three-minute masterpiece and realize, “Hey, we’ve got 50k lying around, let’s give it to the Coffin kid who isn’t on tour!”

But of course that’s unlikely because nobody’s got money and our industry is shit and life is unfair. Parker’s probably got a few more years to make the dream happen before he turns into just another local legend. Let’s hope he sees some CT daylight first.

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