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Desperately seeking: The perfect surf song!

Chas Smith

by Chas Smith

Is there one song out there that sums up our shared experience perfectly?

If you are a regular here at BeachGrit then you know how fascinated I am by Cornwall and the British surfing scene. It is a whole world of endless wonder because it seems to mirror what happens in the rest of surfing but is, at the same time, completely disconnected from it.

Like a grand social experiment studying what happens when you remove sun and warmth from a quintessentially sunny and warm pastime.

And so it was with much thrill, this morning, that I clicked on the story Watch Surf Champion and Acclaimed Rockers Collaborate on Special Song in Cornwall.

Who was this surf champion? And these acclaimed rockers? Obviously I had heard of neither but let’s poke our heads into this alternate universe and learn!

Cornwall’s gnarly waves and its rural rock’n’roll have inspired an unlikely collaboration between a British surf champion and one of the region’s most successful bands.

Three-times British champ Alan Stokes and Wille and the Bandits star in a a new online documentary series, Fins and Strings, which compares and contrasts the worlds of the professional musician and the pro surfer.

The series follows the Newquay surfer and the internationally acclaimed band as they work together to write the ultimate surf soundtrack.

Hmmmmmm.

Oh, I am not doubting that Alan Stokes and Willie and the Bandits will come up with something very fine for the Cornwall scene but what do you think the ultimate best ever surf song is in real life?

I submit Turbonegro’s All of my Friends are Dead. You won’t be able to beat it but you can try.

Dane and Corts just had two little gals!

Derek Rielly

by Derek Rielly

The dynasty of the one time best surfer in world and Ask Pam mastermind grows!

A few hours ago, your favourite couple, the one-time best surfer in the world (2006-2012), Dane Reynolds, and Ask Pam mastermind, falconer and clothier Corts Jaedtke, burst out twin gals.

Can you believe it’s been two years since Sammy Boo rained on the decade-long lovers? 

Via the publishing phenomenon of Instagram, we can inspect the two children. Below, is the surfer husband, slightly awed, perhaps a little scared by the reality of two infants whom he must protect and support.

Here, the mother, gorgeous despite exertion.

What symbols of virility the pair have proven to be.

One, a tall stud with a natural hairdo, and Courtney, with the luminous eyes and strong face. Loving each other since they were very young.

I wonder, in the west, where child-bearing is delayed and marriage viewed as the folly of the slightly nutty, if the success of their union might inspire others, perhaps you, to feel the dizzy excitement of creating a kid.

Is the idea of creating a powerful lineage, a dynasty suddenly back in vogue?

Faux/Real: Board Punching!

Derek Rielly

by Derek Rielly

Do you punch your board? Or is it a kink only for pro surfers?

Two days ago, the perennial almost-WCT surfer Mitch Coleborn posted an Instagram clip where he brought a muscular arm back and slammed his surfboard.

The blow, if there was audio attached, would’ve made a hollow crunching sound and, perhaps, a spatter of fibreglass shards would’ve dotted Mitch’s shirt front.

https://www.instagram.com/p/BYgyYHgD8PF/?hl=en&taken-by=mitch_coleborn

Board punching.

Are you a board puncher?

Kolohe Andino is. One of many clips below.

I don’t think I’ve ever punched my surfboard. They are too expensive and, mostly, too precious an object to purposefully destroy. I would imagine taking the surfboard to the ding repair man who would look mournfully at the damage and tell me it would cost one hundred dollars to fix.

Pro surfers, of course, are very different. Their pay cheque depends upon results and, therefore, a surfboard that fails to perform at the exacting standard required might become a “motherfucker” or a “bastard” or “cunt.”

The question today is: are you a board puncher? Do you know any board punchers?

Or is its a pro surfer thing only?

Watch: The burden of youth!

Chas Smith

by Chas Smith

Maui phenom Eli Hanneman inspires!

Let’s not waste time with words this morning. There is a video making the rounds, from the production arm of the World Surf League, and it is magnificent and eye-popping. It features fourteen-year-old Maui phenomenon Eli Hanneman who rides Matt Biolos shaped surfboards.

The fact that he is so young and surfs so well is both wonderful but also burdensome. If you are 14, going to become 15 then eventually mid-20s, how do you top your younger self? Did John John surf this good when he was 14?

But we here are anti-depressive so let us not project anything. Let us revel in the moment.

Amazing, no? Better than you or I will ever be. Should we give up on the surf game and become scholars instead? Maybe we can study the Hindu gods. Maybe we can begin with that monkey one Hanuman since it is near Hanneman? Let’s start!

While still a baby, Hanuman, the child of a nymph by the wind god, tried to fly up and grab the Sun, which he mistook for a fruit. Indra, the king of the gods, struck Hanuman with a thunderbolt on the jaw (hanu), thus inspiring the name. When Hanuman continued to misbehave, powerful sages cursed him to forget his magic powers, such as the ability to fly or to become infinitely large, until he was reminded of them. Hanuman led the monkeys to help Rama, an avatar (incarnation) of the god Vishnu, recover Rama’s wife, Sita, from the demon Ravana, king of Lanka (likely not the present-day Sri Lanka).

Having been reminded of his powers by Jambavan, the king of the bears, Hanuman crossed the strait between India and Lanka in one leap, despite the efforts of watery demonesses to stop him by swallowing him or his shadow. He was discovered in Lanka, and his tail was set on fire, but he used that fire to burn down Lanka. Hanuman also flew to the Himalayas and returned with a mountain full of medicinal herbs to restore the wounded in Rama’s army.

Hanuman is worshipped as a subsidiary figure in temples dedicated to Rama or directly in shrines dedicated to Hanuman himself. The latter are generally thronged by monkeys, who know that they cannot be mistreated there. In temples throughout India, he appears in the form of a monkey with a red face who stands erect like a human. For his service to Rama, Hanuman is upheld as a model for all human devotion (bhakti).

WSL says: “Drop in with the pros!”

Chas Smith

by Chas Smith

Do you hate your teeth? The World Surf League has a contest for you!

Do you remember, some ten years ago, when the film Bustin’ Down the Door was released and we all watched Rabbit Bartholomew, Ian Cairns, Mark Richards and Shaun Tomson tell their wonderful story about surfing on Oahu’s North Shore?

I, for one, loved every moment. It had drama, it had action, it had personality, fear and charm.

Oh I can’t believe if you haven’t seen it and would scold you very much if you told me so but just in case… just in case… you lack taste let me give a truncated summary right here.

A pack of brash Australians and a few more genteel but equally radical South Africans descended upon the North Shore in the early 1970s and terrorized the poor Hawaiians by dropping in, shredding, ripping etc. then they went home and published magazine stories about how much better they were than the Hawaiians.

The poor Hawaiians.

Well… the poor Hawaiians didn’t like that and actually weren’t “poor” but rather “way more terrorizing than any before or after” and formed a group called Da Hui to kick the shit out of the offending bastards.

Somehow Eddie Aikau made peace and an uneasy truce between locals and bastards has reigned in the land for many years.

Until now.

The World Surf League has decided to exacerbate the situation, much like Kim Jong Un, and is wanting to make you party to the demise plus a bunch of missing teeth by collaborating with the Turtle Bay Resort (where the brash Australians hid out in order to not get their door bustin’ down) for a special prize package.

Let’s see what you win!

5 Night Stay at Turtle Bay Resort – located on the famous North Shore of Oahu, Hawaii. Relax, hangout and rest up at Turtle Bay Resort with an epic ocean view room.

Round Trip Shuttle Transportation – You don’t have to worry about finding parking for the event of the year, we’ll shuttle you to and from the Billabong Pipe Masters.

VIP Event Access – Take in the best surf of the year with VIP-access and seating at the Billabong Pipe Masters.

Surf Board Rentals – Four-day board rental from the renowned Hans Hedemann Surf Center, just steps from your room and the beach.

Bar Passes & Swag – You’ll have VIP Back Door Pass which grants you access to any non-ticketed events at Surfer, The Bar along with your Triple Crown of Surfing swag bag.

How hyped are the Pipeline locals going to be when you drop in on a Surf Board rental with the pros?

Enter here and find out!