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Beach Grit

Who does it better: “Sexy Surf Sisters!”

Derek Rielly

by Derek Rielly

The pneumatic titty-and-ass Coffey gals or lycra-inflating Greenes?

Do you follow the travails of women’s surfing? I do, at least in an abbreviated form, and enjoy, very much, the lines painted by, in order, Stephanie Gilmore, Carrisa Moore, Lakey Peterson, Coco Ho and Tyler Wright.

Not everyone can lance a lip like those formidable talents, of course. And at the lower rungs there exists a competition to see who can amass the most Instagram followers, and hopefully the accompanying revenue, generally using the honey bait of young kitty kat.

The queens of this game, and have been for some time, are Gold Cost sisters Ellie-Jean Coffey and Holly-Sue Coffey. Between ‘em they have almost one-and-a-half millions Instagram followers, numbers apparently genuine given the excellent engagement on their posts. The photo that heads this story where the viewer is invited to examine the supple curves of the elder’s heavy cheeks, theatrically clinched by her younger sister, enjoyed 37,300 likes and 377 comments.

These included: “Your ass is like a temple of gods”, “Damn u got such a nice ass”, “I would love to find out for myself!” “Double pleasure” and “Delicious asses”. Fairly obvious sentiments given the extraordinary fascination men have for ass.

Ellie-Jean, who is twenty-three, and Holly-Sue, seventeen, have two more sisters, Ruby-Lee, 16, and Bonnie-Lou, 13, as well as a bro, Jackson, who is 21.

The Coffey story is a good one. Their mother, Kym, busted her neck ten years ago and their father, Jason, figured life is too short not to have a good swing, sold the family house, bought a caravan and the fam lived on the road for four years.

Rumours swirl that a reality show is in the works.

Their dominance as the preeminent sister act in surfing might be on the ropes, however, as reported by the Australian press recently.

In the story, Meet the Aussie sisters making waves in the surfing world we meet Eliza and Mikaela Greene, from Western Australia although now living in Sydney. The pair want to become the Williams sisters of surfing.

“We love the Williams sisters and what they’ve done for tennis and female empowerment. And the adversities they’ve had to face and where they are now”.

There’s never been any sisters that have qualified together or separately. So that’s our main goal, although we definitely want to be on there together,” older sister Mikaela, 23, adds.

Both are currently ranked among the top 100 female surfers in the world, Mikaela 32nd and Eliza 83rd. So when they say their goal is “100 percent achievable”, I believe them.

The story, which you can read here, gets a little whiny regarding the supposed pay disparity between men and women (it ain’t as obvious as you think) but they seem like a couple of nice gals on the make.

The Greenes don’t rule social like the Coffeys, and the bikini shots seem a little forced (see above), but, I wonder, whose game do you prefer?

The provocateurs or the new gals on the block?

Incidentally, all of ’em rip.