Introducing the "Fwoofed Off!"
I’ll admit, there are times that I get arrogantly complacent as a surf journalist. I spend my days and nights thinking about surf, writing about surf, talking about surf, surfing, watching surfing etc. and fall into the ugly trap of imagining that I am at least vaguely aware of every single thing happening under surfing’s sun.
But how could one man hold all the surfing wonders in himself? All the magical bits and bobs? It is impossible and egotistical and I am therefore happy when The Universe kicks my hubris by offering some surf business of which I have never heard. Never even imagined. And allow me to introduce you to professional surfer Lucie Donlan who stars on British dating show Love Island but not for the reasons you’d think and let’s get right into the article. Let’s go straight to The Mirror.
She’s the sexy surfer from Newquay who’s got all the boys chasing her.
But Lucie Donlan has revealed her real reason for entering Love Island – and it’s got nothing to do with the chaps.
The 21 year old started surfing when she was 13 and makes her money through surf modelling.
And she admits she’s got big hopes of having a whole range of surf boards emblazoned with the words she makes up.
“I do make up weird words. They will be coming out this summer,” she tells The Mirror.
“There is ‘Bev’ which is like hot. ‘My Bev’ is – he is nearly my boyfriend. ‘Schnag’ is like when you bite at someone like your boyfriend – when you are like – just stop doing that… you schnag at them.
“‘Fwoofed off’ is when he dumps you. There are loads of them. I just made them up. My family use it now and my friend use it too. It carries on to people. You might be shocked. There might be some you end up using. Maybe there will surf boards adorned with these words. That would be cool.”
I can only hope Jon Pyzel is reading right now or even Matt Biolos. Speaking of, quickly, how much gloating do you think Pyzel does in front of Biolos after his John John beat Biolos’s Kolohe on what would have to be deemed superior equipment seeing that Kolohe had closed the power gap between he and John earlier in the year?
What sort of gloating? Passive? Aggressive? Humorous? Kind?
What sort of gloating will Biolos return when Lost inks Donlan to an exclusive distribution deal and the Bev, Schnag and Fwoofed Off outsell Pyzel’s Ghost two to one?
Oh, I know. Taciturn gloating. It’s the only mood the man has.