Victim being attended to by brave helpers.

Sadistic shark chews arm of man out for a lovely Sunday swim with his wife in Australian lake: “Her calm, quick-thinking likely saved his life!”

But how would your significant other react in the same situation?

These Covid-racked years have taught each and every one of us to enjoy the little things. Strolling with your friend through the park at dusk, two scoops of ice-cream instead of just one, going for a lovely swim with spouse as blistering heat cooks your New South Wales, Australia town.

A 58-year-old man and his 56-year-old wife were doing exactly that, last evening, off of Lake Macquaire just south of Newcastle, when a sadistic six-foot shark shattered the beauty of the moment by chewing the groom’s arm.

NSW Ambulance Inspector Grahame Rathbone, who was first to respond, said, “When you get a call to attend a shark attack, you never really know the full extent of the injuries until you get on scene.”

But what he found, upon arrival, was a pleasant surprise. The husband had been helped to shore by his bride where bystanders fashioned a tourniquet and significantly slowed the bleeding. Furthermore the wife, calm and clear-headed, managed the tableau spectacularly, explaining to the ambulance team her husband’s medical history, keeping a positive attitude.

Her demeanor very likely saved his life but now over to you, how would your significant other react in the same situation? Would he or she stay harmonious? Begin shrieking like a banshee? Secretly hope you bleed out?

Covid-racked years, man.

Strange times.

Jack Robinson, Nathan Florence’s new brides team up to launch sustainable swimwear line: “We wanted every woman to feel comfortable, sexy and stylish!”

"The most powerful power couple couple to ever dance upon the fair seas."

A new power couple couple has emerged in our surf world and it may well be the most powerful power couple couple to ever dance upon the fair seas.

You are already well aware of Jack Robinson, the Championship Tour rookie sensation from Western Australia who has had the attention of surf fans for many years. You are, equally, aware of Nathan Florence, John John’s more engaging younger brother who rides many big waves.

You may not be aware that the two of them recently became married, Jack to a Brazilian model named Julia Muniz Robinson and Nathan to a Hawaiian model named Mahina Florence.

Well, Julia and Mahina just launched an exciting new sustainable swimwear line named Maoi that has typically staid money magazine Forbes crowing ooh la la!

The two sat down for an interview with Forbes and discussed their motivations for launching the brand (We wanted to create a brand for our future and to be able to educate women as well as ourselves on sustainability..), how it is working together (We did all of our meetings through video calls and were constantly texting…), who this first collection is for (We wanted every woman to feel comfortable, sexy, and stylish in every design…) etc.

Uplifting though without one mention of their husbands.

Very 2021

Should Jack and Nathan double down on the burgeoning empire of sustainable chaps? I feel the hearty leg coverings are but one influencer away from much popularity.

Very “big wave.”

Listen: World’s greatest big wave skier Chuck Patterson swings in to discuss love, loss, Big Macs and getting barreled at “The Place of Broken Skulls!”

Snitches get stitches.

Sycophancy in sporting media, media in general, is par for the course. Surf journalism, a multiple rungs below sporting media and on a whole different ladder than media in general, is not immune, see Ashton Goggans, Yago Dora and Gerry Lopez.

Whatever the case, this morning found David Lee Scales and I across a larger but equally reclaimed wood coffee table from none other than Chuck Patterson.

The all-around extreme sporting super hero that skied Mavericks on Pete Mel’s day.

The same gently ruffled for that feat by stinkin’ David Lee Scales.

Maybe me too but my goodness.

If Chuck Patterson ain’t what we all aim to be than I’ll never surf journalism again.

A legend?

Better than Laird?

You decide.

And remember, my surf journalism hangs in the balance.

Listen here.

Japanese Olympic fans in happier days.

Surfing’s Olympic Dream shatters as Japanese government “privately concludes” Tokyo Olympics will be cancelled; looks to secure 2032 Games!

"Too difficult… I don't think it's going to happen."

Revealed today news that the Japanese government is looking for a “face-saving” way of announcing the 2021 Games, already postponed for one year, will have to be cancelled due to the COVID-19 pandemic.

As reported by The Times,

According to a senior member of the ruling coalition, there is agreement that the Games, already postponed a year, are doomed. The aim now is to find a face-saving way of announcing the cancellation that leaves open the possibility of Tokyo playing host at a later date. “No one wants to be the first to say so but the consensus is that it’s too difficult,” the source said. “Personally, I don’t think it’s going to happen.”

Publicly, Japan’s prime minister remains bullish and says holding the Games will be “proof of human victory against the coronavirus.”

Were you excited by surfing appearing at an Olympic Games?

Last January, our tour correspondent, Steve “Longtom” Shearer described his feelings,

Tell me, how pumped are you on surfings Olympic debut, on a scale of one to ten where one is you’d rather shoot heroin in the eyeball than watch and ten is cashing in your kids education fund to be there in person?

I’m hovering between a four and a six. Maybe a high seven if Italo surfs it in cut-offs during a typhoon swell.

VAL and WSL CEO Erik "Elo" Logan, at right, during happier days as junior frogman in traditional front-zip wetsuit. | Photo: @eriklogan

Scandal rocks World Surf League as chief executive admits to wearing wetsuit backwards on health and wellness podcast: “Put it on backwards, like most people do, zipper in the front…”

"Hey, you should go be with all the cool guys..."

Our World Surf League leadership has done an absolutely incredible job mocking the pastime it seeks to promote.

Who could forget the money, and co-Waterperson of the Year Dirk Ziff coined the phrase “grumpy locals,” his co-Waterperson of the Year, and wife, Natasha, calling the same group “grumpy traditionalists.”

Then there was the legendary Beth Greve, the League’s Chief Commercial Officer, who made herself a household name by innovating by somehow inserting her surfboard fins backwards.

Backward Fin Beth, lauded by dairy ranch hands and Pulitzer Prize winners alike.

Now, of course, we have Chief Executive Officer Erik “ELo” Logan who rides a standup paddle board, singlehandedly destroyed the just-re-launched 2020/21 Championship Tour by contracting Covid-19 in Hawaii but also used to put his wetsuit on backwards too.

He was recently a guest on the Health Gig podcast where he said, “Moved to Manhattan Beach (California) and bought a house five blocks away from the beach. Now, go back in time, Chuck the Duck, landlocked kid from Oklahoma who wouldn’t even go into a lake if I couldn’t see my feet. It’s like, ‘If I can’t see the bottom, I’m not going in.’ And so, my wife at the time bought me a wetsuit when I was 41, for my 41st birthday as kind of a joke. It was sort of like, ‘Hey, you should go be with all the cool guys…’ so I put the wetsuit on, put it on backwards of course like most people do, zipper goes in the back, not in the front, it’s a great picture. So I put the wetsuit on and walked into the ocean…”

Fabulous but is it really true that most people put on wetsuits backwards for the first time?

Is this a truism of our little world?

I saw a frustrated younger 20ish boy sitting on the beach, two years ago, with his wetsuit on backwards but this is the only example in-the-wild I can recall.

Are there more at your local?

Most at Manhattan Beach?

Much to ponder.