Integrity in the dock.

Oh and well my goodness. Stab magazine, recent North County San Diego interloper, true to form, has attempted to chime in on former world number four Dane Reynold’s perpetual frisson except got caught in an uncomfortable position vis a vis “woke culture” then edited itself into oblivion.

The title, recently described as “a more conventional surf publication following the more upbeat, straight-ahead style of the defunct Surfer and Surfing print magazines” by the august San Diego Reader, directly quoted Reynolds on its website, “We’re definitely still going! Everyone is getting ‘canceled’ for ridiculous stuff… governor of New York is getting cancelled for sexual harassment and all the women’s accounts are like ‘he touched my stomach’ and other ridiculous stuff… skaters are getting cancelled by just an Instagram from a girl accusing him of something inappropriate… anyway it was a joke, not a funny one, just everyone is getting overly sensitive and ‘cancelled’ is when someone is no longer accepted by society.”

The statement was run straight, on the lightly trafficked stabmag.com, until someone who just moved to Oceanside felt “uh-oh” after reading the five comments pointing to Cuomo’s alleged nastiness and swapped the quote to, “We’re definitely still going! Everyone is getting ‘canceled’ for ridiculous stuff… anyway it was a joke, not a funny one, just everyone is getting overly sensitive and ‘canceled’ when someone is no longer accepted by society.”

Dane Reynolds did not say that.

At all.

So.

Publishing Reynolds’ statement verbatim then shifting it entirely to a non-representative pulled punch without explanation, is that a major, major, major malfunction or simply a whole new level of “Fuck Stab?”

Asking for a friend.

More as the story develops.

A sad day for professional surf fans everywhere.

Professional French surfer and heartthrob, Jeremy Flores, has officially announced his retirement from the World Surf League’s Championship Tour.

Per Tahiti Nui Television:

Peu de temps après sa participation aux Jeux Olympiques de Tokyo, au côté du surfeur polynésien Michel Bourez, Jérémy Flores a annoncé sur les réseaux sociaux son retrait du monde du surf. Il participera à sa dernière compétition en tant que professionnel lors de la Tahiti Pro, du 24 août au 3 septembre.

“Je ne prends pas ma retraite, je passe à autre chose, un nouveau chapitre”, écrit le surfeur sur son compte Instagram. Il y confit vouloir se consacrer pleinement à sa famille. Déjà père d’une petite fille avec sa compagne, Hinarani Delongeaux, Miss Tahiti 2012, Jérémy Flores attend un nouvel enfant. “Depuis que je suis devenu Papa, mes priorités ont complètement changé, je veux être à 100% présent pour ma famille”, partage-t-il.

Translation:

After participating in the Jewish Olympics of Tokyo, coast of surfer Polynesian Michel Bourez, Jeremy Flores has announced, with reasons of social restraint, from the world of surf. The participation of the last competition ever of professional lords of the Tahiti Pro from 24 ragout to 3 September.

“I need to pretend I’m restrained and choose a new chapter,” drew the surfer on his jam-like Instagram. Duck confit would compliment his family. Maybe a small steak with champagne. Hinarani  Delongeau, Miss Tahiti 2012, Jeremy Flores attend a novel infant. “After becoming a devilishly good-looking papa, my priorities are to compliment change and 100% give presents to my family.”

Flores will be greatly missed. His skill in large waves and fiery personality will not be replaced as younger up-and-coming pros did not have to learn the game over razor sharp reefs and hungry sharks of Reunion Island.

I remember meeting the two-time Pipeline Master at the then-Quiksilver headquarters Huntington Beach. We discussed making a short film together and I don’t recall what happened to the stillborn project. He had piercing eyes, a confident ease, a very unmistakable je ne sais quoi. Our short film would have inspired.

A sad day for us but a happy one for Flores’ family who will be bathed in gifts.

Correction.

Apparently my French is not what it used to be and the proper translation reads:

Shortly after his participation in the Tokyo Olympics, alongside Polynesian surfer Michel Bourez, Jérémy Flores announced on social networks his withdrawal from the world of surfing. He will participate in his last competition as a professional during the Tahiti Pro, from August 24 to September 3.

I’m not retiring, I’m moving on, a new chapter ”, writes the surfer on his Instagram account. He confessed to wanting to devote himself fully to his family. Already the father of a little girl with his partner, Hinarani Delongeaux, Miss Tahiti 2012, Jérémy Flores is expecting a new child. “Since I became a Dad, my priorities have completely changed, I want to be 100% present for my family”, he shares.

Not so different, I suppose. Listen to the hero discuss life, surf, the better things here.

Very cool.

Surfing and automobiles have gone together like peanut butter and chocolate since Californians culturally appropriated the Sport of Kings from Hawaiians just over a century ago. From the 1950s Plymouth Woodie to the 1996 Toyota Landcruiser to the 2018 Porsche Panamera, cars and surfing, surfing and cars.

The possible best ever, though, a surprise out of Korea where Kia has just released what is being described as “every surfer’s dream machine.”

Kia’s Soul EV Boardmasters Edition, not currently available in the United States, was produced in collaboration with the United Kingdom’s Boardmasters Surfing and Music Festival and promises, “a 64.0-kWh battery feeding a 201-horsepower electric motor powering the front wheels, new 16-inch white steel wheels shod in 265/75 R16 Maxxis Bighorn tires, which required redesigned wheel arches.”

What’s more, according to Car and Driver, “There is also steel roof rack that holds a pair of 7’6 Tahe Bic Malibu surfboards and raises the Soul’s height to 76.8 inches. The rack includes a pair of LED spotlights and a solar panel to help recharge the battery pack while you’re out riding the waves.”

Though, watch out as, “Kia acknowledged that these changes would negatively impact the Soul EV’s 280-mile range (on Europe’s WLTP testing cycle).”

Sold yet?

I don’t know why not but, while you’re here, what is the greatest surf car you’ve ever owned?

Mine was a 2018 Porsche Panamera.

I’m wearing BeachGrit trunks in this Porsche ad campaign, in case you were wondering. The trunk (boot) had ample room and with one seat pushed down, children’s faces smashed into windows, could easily fit two 5’11 Channel Islands Twin Pins (buy here).

Very cool.