Brutish churls.

For many years, now, scientists have wondered why Great White Sharks so viciously and savagely attack surfers in the water when surfer meat is widely known to be “gross” and “yucky” filled with many vaccines and/or theories about vaccines. No species on earth enjoys surfer so why, then, do sharks bite?

New research, just out, may provide the answer, suggesting that Great Whites, particularly baby Great Whites, are boorish clods with unrefined eyes that simply can’t tell the difference between seals, surfers or even swimmers.

Per the report:

Recent investigations into shark vision have expanded scientists’ understanding of how the cartilaginous predators see their environment: probably in grayscale and with a minimal ability to see detail. To try to see the world as a shark, Ryan said to imagine taking your eye examination underwater without goggles; things are a little less sharp. As such, the visual cues a hunting shark most relies on are probably motion and brightness contrast.

Spurred by this knowledge, the researchers did an experiment. From the bottom of aquariums at the Taronga Zoo in Sydney, the researchers attached a GoPro to an underwater scooter traveling at the speed of a cruising shark. They recorded videos of two sea lions, one fur seal, swimming people and people paddling on three different types of surfboards (the boards came from the personal collection of Ryan, who surfs).

Ryan and colleagues edited the GoPro footage in a computer program to translate the lens of a video camera to the retinas of a young white shark. They stripped the video of some color and rotated them all so the overhead objects moved from the bottom to the top of the screen. Then the researchers ran the videos through a series of statistical analyses at a range of resolutions to glean whether a juvenile white shark might be able to discern between the objects.

In the shark’s-eye view, the researchers found no significant difference between a swimming person, a paddling surfer or a meandering seal or sea lion. Ryan said she was surprised that sharks might confuse even a swimming person without a surfboard with a seal.

Quite basically, sharks are like tourists from Australia’s Gold Coast who prefer to eat at the Circus Circus buffet, when visiting Las Vegas, instead of the Michelin-starred Restaurant Guy Savoy.

Brutish churls.

A man, reborn.

I’m in love, I’m in love and I don’t care who knows it! Oh who could have ever guessed that a sleek, black strap wrapping my left wrist, directly above my Nixon Supremacy watch, would change my entire life? Make me a better husband, father, writer, friend, surfer?

The surfing, itself, still did not register as an “activity.”

More work to do, gains to see.

But would you like to join me on this journey? Buy your own WHOOP here and receive a fifteen percent discount if you use the code BEACHGRIT at checkout.

"I'm gonna need a lot more sunscreen though..."

The world’s 5th richest man, and avid foil enthusiast, Mark Zuckerberg shocked observers, yesterday, with the announcement that his social media behemoth Facebook Inc. would be changing its name to “Meta.”

Per the Associated Press report:

Facebook Inc. is now called Meta Platforms Inc., or Meta for short, to reflect what CEO Mark Zuckerberg said Thursday is its commitment to developing the new surround-yourself technology known as the “ metaverse.” But the social network itself will still be called Facebook.

Also unchanged, at least for now, are its chief executive and senior leadership, its corporate structure and the crisis that has enveloped the company.

Skeptics immediately accused the company of trying to change the subject from the Facebook Papers, the trove of leaked documents that have plunged it into the biggest crisis since it was founded in Zuckerberg’s Harvard dorm room 17 years ago. The documents portray Facebook as putting profits ahead of ridding its platform of hate, political strife and misinformation around the world.

Zuckerberg then released a sneak peek into his own personal “metaverse.”

A foiling contest versus Maui’s Kai Lenny in which he receives a second place trophy.

And that is all I have to say about that.

Tougher than diamonds, rich like cream.

The power of love is a curious thing, make-a one man weep, make another man sing. Change a hawk to a little white dove, more than a feeling, that’s the power of love. Tougher than diamonds, rich like cream, stronger and harder than a bad girl’s dream. Make a bad one good, make a wrong one right, power of love will keep you home at night and also, quite possibly, fuel a World Surf League Championship Tour title.

Brazilian Gabriel Medina’s run through the entire year was tres magnifique. One of the best seasons, start to finish, in professional surfing’s 45-year history. He could do no wrong, carrying the pressure, the weight, the stress with an easy smile, a laconic interview style never before seen.

The surf public immediately credited his new wife, the extraordinarily beautiful model Yasmin Brunet, with the transformation.

Gone was the dour of step-pappy Charlie. Ever-present the warm hazy glow of blonde Brunet et voila.

Championship.

Olympic Gold medalist and erstwhile World Surf League Championship Tour winner Italo Ferreira was paying close attention, also crediting Brunet, and has, allegedly, sought to rekindle his own romance with the equally beautiful Maria Azevedo.

An inside source has confirmed “something happened” in the relationship after Ferreira won the 2019 crown, then Azevedo always by his side (read here). She wasn’t seen during the just-wrapped tour but the couple is famously tight-lipped even to friends.

Still, the source says, since Medina’s win Ferreira has been reaching out to Azevedo and the two have long nightly phone conversations covering “heavy topics.”

“Don’t be surprised if you see Maria at Italo’s side when the 2022 season begins in Pipe.”

A battle of gorgeous Brazilian power couples?

Peak surfing.

First time you feel it, it might make you sad. Next time you feel it, it might make you mad. But do be glad baby when you’ve found that the power makes the world go ’round.