Chris Davidson, in his role as Kingswood Black in the iconic surf film Doped Youth.

Slain surfing great Chris Davidson was on “child protection register” after indecently assaulting fifteen-year-old girl, newspaper reveals

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry. I should not have done that. I’m sorry don’t tell your dad.”

It’s been a little over a month since the Narrabeen surf prodigy Chris Davidson was killed after an alleged one-punch attack outside a bar in rural east coast Australia.

Davidson, forty-five, was allegedly punched in the face by Grant “Grub” Coleman outside the South West Rocks Country Club at around eleven pm on Saturday, September 24.

Davo fell, hit his head on the pavement, lights out. Paramedics treated Davo at the scene and he was taken to Kempsey Hospital but pronounced dead a short time later.

If Coleman pleads guilty or found guilty of “assault causing death” he faces a max of twenty years in prison, twenty-five, if he was intoxicated, with a minimum sixteen year total sentence, eight of ‘em in full-time custody. 

As shocking as his death was, it wasn’t a complete surprise. Davo liked to drink, he liked to fight.

Maybe a dozen years ago now,  I was woken up in my Californian rental by a pal covered in blood after he went a few rounds with Davo, attacked over some imagined slight.

Now, an Australian tabloid, yeah, the same one that had a swing at your ol pal DR in “Lewd ambush leaves surfer gritting teeth”, has revealed Davo was listed on NSW’s Child Protection Register after being found guilty of indecently assaulting a fifteen-year-old girl in 2017.

He was convicted of stealing a kiss, as they used to say in the darker days of the patriarchy, from the teenager daughter of a pal. When the pal went out, Davo stayed back to watch a movie with the kid.

Court docs revealed he asked her, “Do you have a boyfriend, if so he is a very lucky man”.

Girl felt uncomfortable, went to text her old boy, Davo told her to put the phone away.

She went to her room, he followed, touched her hands and kissed her, making her feel “scared and uncomfortable.”

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry. I should not have done that,” said Davo. “I’m sorry don’t tell your dad.”

Girl crept out of the house, told someone else who also lived there what had happened.

Man went inside, grabbed Davo off a bed he was laying on and pushed him to the door.

Davo was charged with one count of assault with act of indecency. He pleaded guilty and was sentenced to a good behaviour bond for three years and put on the Child Protection Register.

One year later, while teaching students of all ages at a surf school in South West Rocks, a job he didn’t declare to the police, he was arrested for breaching the terms of the Register.

Davo told ‘em the incident with the teenage girl didn’t happen and that he shouldn’t be on the Child Protection Register.

Cops charged him with failing to comply with reporting obligations and his bond was revoked.

He was resentenced to a three-year community corrections order and given 100 hours community service.

At the time of his death he was looking at another charge of failing to comply with reporting conditions.

Surfline Man can see it now! Rocking up to Pipeline with a boardbag full of freshies — for sure, he would be getting free boards, due to his new, important role! Surfline Man could get so barrelled in the real ocean! Of course he would have to learn how to get barrelled backside, but he’s confident he could definitely do it.

Surfline Man buys a World Surf League, “He’ll learn so much hanging out with all his new pro surfer friends. They’ll be BFF’s in no time at all!”

Surfline Man feels so certain all the pro surfers would love him and help him learn to surf better. It would all be so educational.

Since we last saw him getting totally barreled at Surf Ranch, things have been going so well for Surfline Man.

Just last week, he scored such an awesome session right here in Cardiff. He didn’t even have to drive around in the Sprinter looking at like, ten different spots. It was just right there in front of him. Truly the best day ever!

Better yet, Surfline Man found an even better coffee shop than the Pannikin. The coffee is so good here! The wifi is so screaming fast, and he has the perfect view of the surf.

Surfline Man is so totally living the dream. All his chakras are perfectly aligned.

Right now, he’s sitting in his favorite new coffee shop, laptop open, working. Trey asked him to do some contract tech stuff, and although Surfline Man is totally over capitalism, he figured it was a good idea to stay in the game.

Maybe an awesome opportunity will come his way!

If he’s honest, Surfline Man is really just hoping Trey will invite him to Surf Ranch again someday. It was so fun getting super barrelled! Surfline Man wants to get barrelled again so bad. Next time, he’s totally going left.

Writing a little code here and there is worth it. Just sitting here, tapping out some code, drinking a matcha latte, it’s so relaxing! Surfline Man feels so zen right now. Chakras, baby!

Surfline Man hears his phone buzz. New text. He huffs a little at the interruption, but it could be important. It could be a surf trip or something awesome! Surfline Man sets aside his super perfect code, and picks up his phone.

Oh. It’s Trey. Surfline Man opens his phone and begins to read. As usual, it is a lot. Trey loves to text so much.

Trent! Buddy! How are things?
Getting some waves, I hope!
Loved seeing you rip at Surf Ranch
That was such a good time!

Some investor buddies of mine and I
are putting together a deal and
we want to bring you in on it
It’s such a perfect fit for you!

Surfline Man has never really been brought in on a deal before now. This sounds exciting and important!

There’s just one problem. Surfline Man does have some money, but not like, invest in crazy deals money. Hey Trey, not everyone gets the sweet equity! Surfline Man rolls his eyes, and continues to read.

We’re taking a hard look
at buying the World Surf League
In fact, we’re pretty sure we can do it

We want you to join us!
We feel like you will bring some
much-needed authenticity to our group
What do you think?

Surfline Man feels so light-headed right now. He has to set down his phone.

Buy the World Surf League! Trey called him authentic! Surfline Man has so many feelings. It’s all so overwhelming.

Here he is, just sitting in his favorite coffee shop, looking out at the ocean, writing some code. Then, bam! This whole thing comes crashing into his life, like a car crashing into a building or some other big, loud thing.

One day, you wake up and everything changes. Surfline Man, an authentic surfer! He can’t even believe it.

hey trey
definitely interested
i don’t have a ton of assets available
don’t know how much i need?
appreciate the invite, for sure

So good to hear back from you, Trent
Yah, we should be alright on the money side
Got some high-rollers interested ha ha
If you can put up $50k it should be a-okay

I need to know if you’re in ASAP
Big investor call at noon tomorrow!
Hope you can join us!
Barrels at Surf Ranch every weekend!

Surfline Man sets down his phone, and takes a sip of water from his shiny new Yeti water bottle. So lightweight! Totally shatter-free!

Then he leans back in his chair, and stares at the horizon. He could be an owner of the World Surf League! Surfline Man tries to imagine his exciting, new life. He would definitely have to travel around the world to all the events. No question.

Surfline Man can see it now! Rocking up to Pipeline with a boardbag full of freshies — for sure, he would be getting free boards, due to his new, important role! Surfline Man could get so barrelled in the real ocean! Of course he would have to learn how to get barrelled backside, but he’s confident he could definitely do it.

Anyway, Surfline Man can’t be bothered with details just now. There are just so many possibilities! He could expand his horizons so far beyond Cardiff. Surfline Man only thought he was living the dream. Now he can do it for real!

For sure, Surfline Man would learn so much hanging out with all his new pro surfer friends. They would be BFF’s in no time at all.

Maybe he could finally master that awesome cutback he’s been working on for so long. Surfline Man feels so certain all the pro surfers would love him and help him learn to surf better. It would all be so educational.

All Surfline Man has to do is pay out $50k. His college education cost more than that, and really, he’s not sure it got him that far. He could be surf industry elite! Surfline Man can’t imagine a better use of his money. It will all be so, so worth it.

Surfline Man returns to the present. Here he is, sitting in Cardiff at his favorite coffee shop, writing some code. But he could be somewhere else entirely. It is all so seductive.

Surfline Man picks up his phone. He has no doubts now. He should totally do it. Sure, Trey is an asshole who laughed at Surfline Man when he sprained his ankle at the Elevate! company dodgeball game.

But if Surfline Man owned even a tiny portion of the World Surf League, he could travel the world and get so good at surfing. Surfline Man definitely can’t rest until he is the best surfer he can possibly be. It’s his only goal!

hey trey
sounds cool
i’m so in

Surfline Man debates whether he should sign off with a shaka, but that might be pushing it. It feels far better to play it cool. Surfline Man’s brand is totally authenticity, and he’s pretty sure a real surfer would never sign a text with a shaka. As he hits send, Surfline Man can’t resist saying it, though. Shakas, bro!

Awesome, dude!
I am so happy to have you on the team!
Looking forward to living the dream
It’s going to be so insane

I’ve come up with the perfect role for you
You’re such the real surfer!
We’re going to make you the
Ambassador of Stoke!

World Surf League CEO Erik Logan takes claiming to heretofore unforeseen level; tosses “double deuces” when not quite barreled at Kelly Slater’s Surf Ranch!

Sliding into your heart.

“Claims” have long been a divisive issue amongst fans of professional surfing. Should one of our heroes pump arms, wag tongues, throw heads back after an exceptional ride? Moreover, should they after an unexceptional one? Likely not, ever, but the debate continues to rage.


All can agree that World Surf League Erik Logan’s “double deuces” whilst not barreled at Kelly Slater’s Surf Ranch goes well over the line.

Or does it?

Fans appear divided.

Or maybe not.

Only “fire” emojis and “raised hands” emojis in the comments once he posted the clip of himself to his own Instagram account.

No negative.

David Lee Scales and I, anyhow, discussed the double d, the power of surf films, Dennis Jarvis’s genius and much, much more during our weekly chat. This super pod touches two hours in length and each minute is worth its weight in minutes.

Enjoy here.

Kelly Slater (pictured) hiding assets.

Surf fans wring hands in worry over Kelly Slater’s financial health after surf great, onetime flame Gisele Bündchen, her ex-Tom Brady, Larry David exposed in cryptocurrency exchange collapse!

Candle, please.

Things were going so wonderfully well for surf fans and their dreamed of reunion between Kelly Slater and Gisele Bündchen. The ink dried, almost instantly, on the Brazilian supermodel and her ex-husband, Tom Brady’s, divorce papers. She moved herself to Costa Rica, very near the ayahuasca retreat center where the world’s greatest surfer just so happens to sit on the board, and an announcement of conscious re-coupling seemed but days away.

Until, that is, cryptocurrency exchange FTX collapsed earlier this month.

Founded by Sam Bankman-Fried three years ago, the exchange promised to be the place that cryptocurrencies would be bought and sold. The future experienced in real time. No pesky “government printed dollar bills” getting in the way. Bright skies. Big horizons. Pure non-fungibility.

Megastars, including Larry David, Tom Brady, his ex-wife Bündchen were quick to sign on, invest, make beautiful commercials together.

But then came the crash.

Per CBS Sports:

The cryptocurrency market was rocked Friday by the collapse of FTX, which filed for bankruptcy and saw CEO Sam Bankman-Fried resign after his assets plummeted in worth from $16 billion at the beginning of the week to virtually nothing. The fall of FTX, which had been hailed as a trusted crypto platform, is set to have major consequences for its investors, several of whom are major figures on the field and in the business of sports.

One such prominent investor is Tom Brady.

The Tampa Bay Buccaneers QB and his now ex-wife Gisele Bundchen are among the celebrity investors in FTX, as the two were announced as having taken major equity stakes in the company in 2021. He has served as a brand ambassador for the company and starred in its commercials, receiving cryptocurrency in return, while Bundchen was named the company’s environmental and social initiatives adviser.

Brady and FTX’s other major investors have now likely lost most if not all of their stake in the company, particularly after a deal for cryptocurrency giant Binance to rescue FTX fell through after a review of the company’s finances.


And it might be thought, amongst polite society, that Slater was spared the fall and would have plenty of reserves to sweep Bündchen out of financial despair.

Alas, surf fans know that our hero is a “diamond handed” crypto holder, extolling various tokens, going to war with Elon Musk over strategies.

Certainly, currently, taking a complete bath.

But silver lining?

Slater and Bündchen able to commiserate over losses?

A fun little competition of whose hands are diamonder?

Inexpensive camping trips and a re-connection with simpler times?


Candle, please.

World Surf League Global Chief Revenue Officer responds to news of Netflix’s stymied purchase with ultra-cryptic tweet: “(coy winking emoji) #surfsUP!”

Much mystery.

Days ago, an earthquake rumbled across the surfing landscape when it was revealed that real company Netflix had considered purchasing our World Surf League in whole. Per reporting in the Wall Street Journal:

The company recently bid for the streaming rights for the ATP tennis tour for some European countries, including France and the U.K., but dropped out, one of the people said. It also discussed bidding for a series of other events including U.K. rights to the Women’s Tennis Association and cycling competitions, the people said. The company late last year was in talks to buy the World Surf League, but negotiations fell apart because the two organizations couldn’t reach an agreement on a price, people familiar with the potential deal said. Some Netflix executives believe that given the size of its platform, Netflix could turn lesser-known sports like surfing into big franchises, and create new sporting tournaments or events, the people said.

So many questions, including what the difference on price between the World Surf League and Netflix was, how radically the streaming giant would alter the tour, what would happen to CEO Erik Logan.

Things have only gotten murkier since in the wake of an ultra-cryptic tweet from Chief Revenue Officer Cherie R. Cohen.

Cohen, whose preferred pronouns are she/her, was responding to another tweet from a Media Universe Cartographer referencing the Journal piece and reading:

BREAKING: The least surprising sports news of 2022. As I’ve pointed out many times: Of all major streamers, Netflix is the only one without sports. Their interest in #sports and their newly launched ad biz coinciding, is not coincidental.

She/her return?

A coy winking emoji plus the hashtag #surfsUP.

What could this possibly mean?

Another buyer in the wings?

Deal not dead?

Double deuces.