Mason Ho in his wildest Scottish adventure yet, “The ghost of Dirty Dick is still in search of Little Nell!”

More exciting than black cherry melon tips moving in time to a funky drumbeat.

More, here, from Mason “Dirty Dick” Ho’s month-long adventure to Scotland, where the men are handsome and the whisky is delicious if we dare believe TERF JK Rowling.

Hawaii’s Queen of Crazy, who is thirty-three, is like a giant tomcat glaring at these obstinate waves that want to smash you from ass to earlobe. Deadly danger, for Ho, always generates his reflex ferocity to attack, maim and destroy the enemy. You can almost hear the urgency in his testicles.

You keep rubbing that stick, as they say, and you’re gonna get a lot more than a spark.

Essential viewing.

John John “Big Daddy Body” Florence releases rare surf edit, “So Long Sucker!”

John John Florence, better than all those other horned-up lunkheads on tour.

There’s a hint of wildness and pathos in John John Florence’s rough boy persona, this almost thirty-year-old two-time world champion with the impervious reputation.

He is the last custodian of the old way, talk softly, carry a big stick, surf with power and brilliance.

This edit was shot entirely in Portugal, this year the first time in five years he’s been there. Injuries etc.

Son of eighties surfing superstar redefines twin-fin performance in hall-of-fame 15-minute short “It’s almost at the point of cliche. But all cliches begin with a truth!”

Fifteen minutes of inarguably beautiful surfing in waves of real consequence. Not a line or rail out of place.

Beau Cram, son of the legendary Richard, dropped an eminently watchable clip this week.

Cram jnr is a bit of a renaissance man. Travels the country in an old van. Still works on the tools between trips. Doing odd jobs to pay the way. A board design polyglot.

He’s a compact and stylish surfer with his Dad’s intense, brooding eyes. Beau’s been bouncing in and out of the mainstream spotlight over the past few years, and this latest release has followed that staccato rhythm. A jarring, sudden surprise bestowed upon us, like a punch in the nose on a cold winter’s morning.

“Enter the Cramverse”, which is shot by Tom Pearsall, follows Beau on a road-trip through the north west of West Oz, visiting the many razor lipped waves that detonate so violently along that notorious continental shelf.

I rarely watch clips nowaday. Catch most of what I need to on Instagram. Plus videos generally demand too much of my time or attention.

Give me words or give me death.

However, I’ve been a fan of Beau’s surfing for some time now and guessed this would be worth the investment. I was not wrong. Fifteen minutes of inarguably beautiful surfing in waves of real consequence. Not a line or rail out of place. All on what looks like a quiver of Christensen twins (correct me if I’m wrong here).

Refined twins work in good waves. It’s always been known. Part of their origin story. But you can largely thank Torryn Martin for the latest revelation.

Have you dabbled? Added a twin pin to the quiver?

Maybe something with a little contour in the bottom to add that extra hold and drive? The equation in my mind had always been simple.

Twin for the speed. Pulled-in tail for the hold. Doesn’t get much easier.

I’ve had my trusty Campbell Brother’s Alpha Omega for a good five years now. Ridden it in everything from two-foot slop to heaving eight foot HTs. Never once missed a beat when I needed it.

We’ve all seen what Torryn can do. And if the procession of twins I saw doing the run around during the New Year cyclone swell on a certain north coast point was any indication, it’s a secret most of the surfing world has cottoned on to as well.

Nearly all the major shapers have jumped on the bandwagon, releasing their own interpretations of the configuration. It’s almost at the point of cliche. But all cliches begin with a truth.

The only drawback I find is the predilection for lateral surfing. Beautiful for laying on rail. But any sort of vertical jam or pivot can be difficult. God invented thrusters for a reason, I guess.

It’s hard not to compare Cram’s efforts here to Torryn’s.

But Beau brings his own interpretation.

There’s a fair chunk of his Dad’s style. A willingness to attack the edges. To throw himself into situations most would never dare go near. And all with that classic bow-legged trim stance. High-line fever.

Plus there’s a secco of him threading throaty deep tubes on a Beater foamy that must be some of the best finless surfing committed to film thus far. At least that I’ve seen.

Only other person operating in that realm would be Ari Browne.

Say what you will about fins-free; the ability to take off, set up and negotiate the barrel using only your rail line is almost beyond reason.

I do wonder what the crusty north-west locals think about the increase in the “east coast guy in white van with expensive quiver” pilgrimages, like what Beau’s playing at here. Especially with borders opening back up post-Covid.

However it’s a certain breed of surfer who watches a clip of heaving eight-to-ten-foot Tombstones and thinks it’s something they’d like to get around.

The waves will very quickly sort the wheat from the chaff.

I can’t speak to the soundtrack, unfortunately, as I was watching it lying in bed, back to my wife, each of us with our phone on silent, absorbed in our own digital universes.

But I can leave that to you.


Hawaiian surfer and face of Alexander Wang’s eponymous fashion label reveals “devastating” brain injury, depressive episodes after wild brush with death, “You can feel the life squeezing out of you, you can go at any moment!”

"I paddle up the face, whip it, get launched and I get knocked out. Everything went… blue. And I could hear the peaceful violin."

The three-time NSSA champ and runner-up to Zeke Lau’s Ultimate Surfer is the subject of a new short film documenting his wild ride after a devastating accident that left him with a traumatic brain injury and depression.

Smith was in Nias, Indonesia, biggest swell ever to hit the joint and, “Third wave, this bomb comes in. I paddle up the face, whip it and go. And it’s a complete fucking closeout. I get launched and I get knocked out. Everything went… blue. And I could hear the peaceful violin.”

Koa Smith, a mature twenty five, was born in Kauai and, as a child, studied the work of Bruce and Andy Irons.

Smith surfs with the contented and dreamy look of the female suckling her young as he dominates some of the best waves in the world including, but not limited to Teahupoo, Skeleton Bay and Pipeline.

But no man is immune from pain when the amygdala, hippocampus, and dorsomedial thalamus conspire to depress.

Watch here!

Watch just-released footage of world’s greatest surfer Kelly Slater destroying surfboard following poor performance in Portugal event, “I’d rather cry than laugh right now!”

"A horrible performance…"

There is no more satisfying feeling on earth than the efficient and crisp destruction of a surfboard that has wronged you, even better if that board didn’t cost a cent.

Good, clean fun.

In this very good short from the WSL, we find Kelly Slater entering the locker room in Portugal following his shock loss in round three to Aritz Aranburu in round three of the 2014 Moche Rip Curl Pro, a defeat that would doom his run for a twelfth title that year.

Slater’s board enters the locker room first via kick. Slater, face flushed a bright crimson, looks at the board with a frigid stare, takes one skittering step forward, leaps into the air, lands on board, tumbles onto ground.

The board is then propped against a wooden bench where Slater completes the annihilation.

Essential viewing.