Mason Ho in his wildest Scottish adventure
yet, “The ghost of Dirty Dick is still in search of Little
Nell!”
By Derek Rielly
More exciting than black cherry melon tips moving
in time to a funky drumbeat.
More, here, from Mason “Dirty Dick” Ho’s month-long
adventure to Scotland, where the men are handsome and the
whisky is delicious if we dare believe TERF JK Rowling.
Hawaii’s Queen of Crazy, who is thirty-three, is like a giant
tomcat glaring at these obstinate waves that want to smash you from
ass to earlobe. Deadly danger, for Ho, always generates his reflex
ferocity to attack, maim and destroy the enemy. You can almost hear
the urgency in his testicles.
You keep rubbing that stick, as they say, and you’re gonna get a
lot more than a spark.
Essential viewing.
Loading comments...
Load Comments
0
Self-absorption, love, survival.
John John “Big Daddy Body” Florence
releases rare surf edit, “So Long Sucker!”
By Derek Rielly
John John Florence, better than all those other
horned-up lunkheads on tour.
There’s a hint of wildness and pathos in John John
Florence’s rough boy persona, this almost thirty-year-old
two-time world champion with the impervious reputation.
He is the last custodian of the old way, talk softly, carry a
big stick, surf with power and brilliance.
This edit was shot entirely in Portugal, this year the first
time in five years he’s been there. Injuries etc.
Loading comments...
Load Comments
0
There’s a fair chunk of his Dad’s style. A
willingness to attack the edges. To throw himself into situations
most would never dare go near. And all with that classic bow-legged
trim stance. High-line fever.
Son of eighties surfing superstar redefines
twin-fin performance in hall-of-fame 15-minute short “It’s almost
at the point of cliche. But all cliches begin with a truth!”
By surf ads
Fifteen minutes of inarguably beautiful surfing in
waves of real consequence. Not a line or rail out of place.
Beau Cram, son of the legendary Richard, dropped an
eminently watchable clip this week.
Cram jnr is a bit of a renaissance man. Travels the country in
an old van. Still works on the tools between trips. Doing odd jobs
to pay the way. A board design polyglot.
He’s a compact and stylish surfer with his Dad’s intense,
brooding eyes. Beau’s been bouncing in and out of the mainstream
spotlight over the past few years, and this latest release has
followed that staccato rhythm. A jarring, sudden surprise bestowed
upon us, like a punch in the nose on a cold winter’s morning.
“Enter the Cramverse”, which is shot by Tom Pearsall, follows
Beau on a road-trip through the north west of West Oz, visiting the
many razor lipped waves that detonate so violently along that
notorious continental shelf.
I rarely watch clips nowaday. Catch most of what I need to on
Instagram. Plus videos generally demand too much of my time or
attention.
Give me words or give me death.
However, I’ve been a fan of Beau’s surfing for some time now and
guessed this would be worth the investment. I was not wrong.
Fifteen minutes of inarguably beautiful surfing in waves of real
consequence. Not a line or rail out of place. All on what looks
like a quiver of Christensen twins (correct me if I’m wrong
here).
Refined twins work in good waves. It’s always been known. Part
of their origin story. But you can largely thank Torryn Martin for
the latest revelation.
Have you dabbled? Added a twin pin to the quiver?
Maybe something with a little contour in the bottom to add that
extra hold and drive? The equation in my mind had always been
simple.
Twin for the speed. Pulled-in tail for the hold. Doesn’t get
much easier.
I’ve had my trusty Campbell Brother’s Alpha Omega for a good
five years now. Ridden it in everything from two-foot slop to
heaving eight foot HTs. Never once missed a beat when I needed
it.
We’ve all seen what Torryn can do. And if the procession of
twins I saw doing the run around during the New Year cyclone swell
on a certain north coast point was any indication, it’s a secret
most of the surfing world has cottoned on to as well.
Nearly all the major shapers have jumped on the bandwagon,
releasing their own interpretations of the configuration. It’s
almost at the point of cliche. But all cliches begin with a
truth.
The only drawback I find is the predilection for lateral
surfing. Beautiful for laying on rail. But any sort of vertical jam
or pivot can be difficult. God invented thrusters for a reason, I
guess.
It’s hard not to compare Cram’s efforts here to Torryn’s.
But Beau brings his own interpretation.
There’s a fair chunk of his Dad’s style. A willingness to attack
the edges. To throw himself into situations most would never dare
go near. And all with that classic bow-legged trim stance.
High-line fever.
Plus there’s a secco of him threading throaty deep tubes on a
Beater foamy that must be some of the best finless surfing
committed to film thus far. At least that I’ve seen.
Say what you will about fins-free; the ability to take off, set
up and negotiate the barrel using only your rail line is almost
beyond reason.
I do wonder what the crusty north-west locals think about the
increase in the “east coast guy in white van with expensive quiver”
pilgrimages, like what Beau’s playing at here. Especially with
borders opening back up post-Covid.
However it’s a certain breed of surfer who watches a clip of
heaving eight-to-ten-foot Tombstones and thinks it’s something
they’d like to get around.
The waves will very quickly sort the wheat from the chaff.
I can’t speak to the soundtrack, unfortunately, as I was
watching it lying in bed, back to my wife, each of us with our
phone on silent, absorbed in our own digital universes.
But I can leave that to you.
Loading comments...
Load Comments
0
Koa climbed out of the abyss!
Hawaiian surfer and face of Alexander
Wang’s eponymous fashion label reveals “devastating” brain injury,
depressive episodes after wild brush with death, “You can feel the
life squeezing out of you, you can go at any moment!”
By Derek Rielly
"I paddle up the face, whip it, get launched and I
get knocked out. Everything went… blue. And I could hear the
peaceful violin."
The three-time NSSA champ and runner-up to Zeke Lau’s
Ultimate Surfer is the subject of a new short film documenting his
wild ride after a devastating accident that left
him with a traumatic brain injury and depression.
Smith was in Nias, Indonesia, biggest swell ever to hit the
joint and, “Third wave, this bomb comes in. I paddle up the face,
whip it and go. And it’s a complete fucking closeout. I get
launched and I get knocked out. Everything went… blue. And I could
hear the peaceful violin.”
Koa Smith, a mature twenty five, was born in Kauai and, as a
child, studied the work of Bruce and Andy Irons.
Smith surfs with the contented and dreamy look of the female
suckling her young as he dominates some of the best waves in the
world including, but not limited to Teahupoo, Skeleton Bay and
Pipeline.
But no man is immune from pain when the amygdala, hippocampus,
and dorsomedial thalamus conspire to depress.
Watch here!
Loading comments...
Load Comments
0
Slater, mid-flight.
Watch just-released footage of world’s
greatest surfer Kelly Slater destroying surfboard following poor
performance in Portugal event, “I’d rather cry than laugh right
now!”
By Derek Rielly
"A horrible performance…"
There is no more satisfying feeling on earth than the
efficient and crisp destruction of a surfboard that has wronged
you, even better if that board didn’t cost a cent.
Good, clean fun.
In this very good short from the WSL, we find Kelly Slater
entering the locker room in Portugal following his shock loss in
round three to Aritz Aranburu in round three of the 2014 Moche Rip
Curl Pro, a defeat that would doom his run for a twelfth title that
year.
Slater’s board enters the locker room first via kick. Slater,
face flushed a bright crimson, looks at the board with a frigid
stare, takes one skittering step forward, leaps into the air, lands
on board, tumbles onto ground.
The board is then propped against a wooden bench where Slater
completes the annihilation.