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Rumor: WSL to make 10 million dollars!

Chas Smith

by Chas Smith

How? By selling you Glenn Hall's WSL jersey of course!

I woke up this morning and the well was dry. I haven’t heard a rumor for weeks and, apparently, everyone put “be kind” on their New Year’s resolution list thus gutting the Blood Feud. How does BeachGrit exist without? Oh sure, Adriano de Souza got married and Ozzie Wright + Otis Carey + Derek Rielly wrote and performed an original song in the back of an Israeli taxi but spice! We need spice!

And today I got some from a very wonderful man. Allegedly your World Surf League and their partner Whistle (formerly Whistle Sports) have a plan to make ten million dollars! $10,000,000.00! And make to make it in 2016. What is, you ask? But to sell ten million dollars’ worth of WSL jerseys of course!

That’s right. You’ve seen John John Florence and Kelly Slater and Gabriel Medina don their singlets before paddling out. The WSL is now going to sell you a version of that so you can proudly wear FANNING while shopping for hot dogs just like you used to wear PATRIOTS. I hear the product looks good. The only tiny little nothing problem is who on FUCKING earth would buy? Maybe the 20 mil Brazilians who tune in for heats? Maybe you? Definitely me! At the mo I’m torn between Rookie of the Year Italo Ferreira and 2013 Rookie of the Year Nat Young.

I love so much that WSL CEO Paul Speaker treats numbers like made up things you just say for fun. Like Cloudbreak breaks in 2 inches of water and Kelly Slater makes well north of 20 mil a year. I hate math/reality too!

Which brings us back to the most pressing question. What jersey will you buy? Will you be livid when your girlfriend steals it?