Go-for-broke Bakersfield surfer Dane Reynolds releases latest riposte to the milquetoast horror of the WSL’s “pandering bullshit that’s ruining surfing!”
The famous daddy-body is heavy yet when he surfs he becomes like a cowboy of the Westerns: ready to fire his guns at the drop of a hat…
Brother of US Olympian John John Florence shucks “Jan Brady” middle sibling curse with hall of fame “mutant” session at the Mexican Pipeline!
“Needless to say things got a little crazy LOL!”
Surf greats rush to praise Prince Harry lookalike after “loony” barrel ride many are calling best wave ever ridden! “I couldn’t even speak when I kicked out!”
And see Mark Healey, John John, Peter Mel etc etc behaving like young boys forced into service by a stronger man.
Hot on heels of explosive 31-page attack on British royal family Prince Harry-lookalike stuns surf world with session at secret wave pundits are calling Australia’s Teahupoo!
“Men will never be free until the last king is strangled with the entrails of the last priest.”
Hawaiian big-wave superstar almost paralysed in horror wipeout three weeks ago shocks Australian surfers with dramatic cameo at the country’s heaviest wave, “I want the people to watch what is going to be consecrated here!”
"A true champion, face to face with his darkest hour, will do whatever it takes to rise above."
On eve of Bells Beach Pro, John John Florence releases stunning ode to Victoria’s Great Ocean Road, “Everything can happen here. Even the miracle of becoming loved again.”
“I feel fresh and clean, ready to fly up to paradise!”
World’s sexiest Only Fans star smashes internet with gripping advice on how to get better at surfing fast, “I went from zero airs to having the best surfer in the world say, ‘Hey, give me your knowledge on how to do aerials!”
“I was doing two three hour sessions a day, body slamming on the water over and over and coming in near tears!”
On eve of Trans Visibility Day world’s greatest surfer Kelly Slater escapes furore over trans-exclusionary comments with wild surf session at a wave, “Almost no one can surf!”
Five essential minutes with the greatest of all time Kelly Slater and his understudy, the Hawaiian world champion John John Florence!
Female surfer controversially cut from world tour flaunts “revenge film” backed by activewear giant Lululemon, “We’re all familiar with the way the WSL rules bend with the breeze and under the weight of sponsors’ cash!”
"Do not be fooled by that smile."
World’s greatest athlete Kelly Slater, slammed by transgender surf icon as part of the “far right going mental”, shines in exhilarating video edit made by teenage surf fan! “That second one broke the speed record!”
Daddy Slater gets his mouth sticky with dreamy roll-in cocktails.
BIPOC “Queen of Crazy” Mason Ho, “beautiful and fat” Noa Deane and surfing’s greatest virtuoso Clay Marzo deliver a masterpiece in contemporary surfing, “A penetrating glimpse into sport’s most exciting talents!”
A vulgar excess of high-fidelity contemporary surfing from surfing's three hottest and most enduring talents!
Hawaiian big-wave superstar dubbed “the world’s smartest surfer” credits his bodybuilding regime for saving him from a wheelchair following catastrophic back-breaking wipeout! “Deadlifts saved me!”
"I slammed on my back on the bottom of the barrel. Right when I slammed, I felt a snap in my lower back, right on my spine.”
Fashion model Koa Smith releases harrowing POV footage of surviving “sixty-foot waves” at secret outer reef, “I’m so grateful and psyched, I thought I was about to die!”
"I woke up with so much fear this morning."
Hawaiian heartthrob and scion of North Shore strongman Koa Rothman reveals myriads secrets, including an exploding rubber suit, he uses to survive “fifty-foot Waimea Bay!”
The rapidly-becoming legendary Koa Rothman on what it takes to surf the world's most famous big-wave spot.
Brother of US Olympian almost paralysed in catastrophic big-wave wipeout posts harrowing POV footage of epic tumble, “I know this video ends quite dramatically… I got absolutely flexed!”
"Right when I slammed, I just felt kind of a snap in my lower back, right on my spine.”
Sexy powerlifter turned Only Fans star suffers suspected back injury after attempting to surf twenty-foot waves, “I just felt kind of a snap in my lower back, right on my spine!”
Surfing may be a world of marvels but it also a world of horrors…