"When the waves started to pick up we couldn't believe what we were seeing…"

The three-time champion surfer of the world John John Florence, a man who refuses to subject himself to the anguish of the World Surf League’s disjointed half-assed tour, has spent the last year, and some, sailing the oceans and seas in search of waves and adventure.

Along with his wife Lauryn, baby Dez, and on various legs his brothers Ivan and Nathan, John John, who is a magnificent and well-fed young man with a wide and shiny rump, gets up in the morning, eats his cornbread, and begins dealing with the issues of the day.

These include boat repairs, navigating treacherous channels, teaching Dez to fish, but, most of all, huntin’ waves.

Not a lot of success, wave wise, gotta be said, but there has always been something so perfect, so precise, so dazzling in his boat life that it’s impossible to look away.

And, finally, we are rewarded.

“When the waves started to pick up we couldn’t believe what we were seeing,” John John writes.

In the Caribbean, John John surfs a wave, alone, and purrs like a kettle on the boil.

It is a savage and arrogant dance, taunting the wave in his warlike way. A provocative call to all who call themselves worthy of a world title.

Absolutely essential.

"A lot of the American folks are shocked at the Australian way of life."

If you didn’t know, Harry Bryant is an almost thirty-year-old male Australian surfer with a blunt-cut hairdo who is often mistaken for a woman in her fifties despite an albino moustache that twinkles like glitter on a burlesque dancer’s corset.

Harry Bryant first appeared on the radar of BeachGrit almost one decade ago when he good-naturedly choked an overzealous security guard at Stab’s inaugural aerial event at Waco in Texas.

“All I remember was seeing Chip getting head-locked by that security guard,” Harry Bryant told BeachGrit. “He (Chippa) was sitting down talking to someone, there was some debacle, and then Chippa was in a headlock. My instant reaction was to put him in one and then, before I knew it, I was in one.

“It was a trilogy of headlocks. No one was hot-headed or wanted to fight. It was all in good spirits. It was hilarious. I think a lot of the American folks were shocked at the Australian way of life. We were all having so much fun, everyone was one the beers all day, and the Americans were a bit eye-opened by that.

“Me and Jay and all those boys were having a slap contest, slapping each other in the face, stuff that you do when you’re an Australian. You’re not fighting your mates. It was blown out of proportion. People thought I was going to jail. I had a smile on my face the whole time.”

Harry Bryant also said that America can be a troublesome place for an Australian.

“You can get into a lot more trouble for little things. Even just walking down the street in the evenings and needing to do a piss, you have to go to a public toilet. But there’s no public toilets ’cause all the bums sleep in them. Even drinking a beer in the passenger seat in a car you can get in trouble for.

“In Australia it’s a way of life. People coming home from work will stop at the bottle-o and buy a long neck for the drive home. It’s so natural in Australia. Of course, you have to respect the rules in other countries but when you’re not aware of the rules, you can run into a lot of trouble.”

HARRY BRYANT’S NEW FILM IS “FEISTY”

Harry Byrant’s new film, Roasted, which isn’t a documentary about him transitioning into womanhood, if you want that and one with a real kick at the end you must watch Brisick’s The Life and Death of Westerly Windina, shows little Harry flying like a hummingbird, deftly and delicately.

There is recklessness, too.

Harry Bryant’s film Roasted appeals to me because, honestly, when was the last time I surfed waves this good or with such sudden, almost masculine, movements?

Watch for his wave from Natural Selection, this righthander made lightly famous by Kelly Slater back in 2012.

Harry Bryant says it’s “one of the best waves in the world on its day. I’d love to see it in all-time conditions. It’s definitely prone to swell but when you’re prone to swell you’re prone to all the elements. I saw the Florence lads went there a couple months prior and it looked similar: super windy, too big, real ledgy, deep water, super hard to surf. It’s really hard to navigate, to know what to  ride.

“I haven’t been to many waves like that. You can’t compare it. Teahupoo is the closest thing. It’s so ledgy. It comes out of deep water and this is a similar takeoff to Chopes but you’re locking into a kilometre of a long, long stretch of reef. On a perfect say, offshore winds, good swell direction, you could easily get the longest tube of your life.”