Question: Is professional surfing an organized crime?
Gabriel Medina ain't going anywhere.
Bombshell: Newly minted world champion surfer Gabriel Medina “likely” to sit out 2022 season, “It’s been hard to do this for years. I think the time has come when I need to take a break”
"It's been ten years that I have to be at the same level. It's very intense. It demands a lot."
World’s greatest shade painter Kelly Slater pours Gabriel Medina’s glass half empty after Brazilian wins third title: “I mean, really, I would’ve been expecting him to be sitting on eight World Titles by now.”
GOAT
“Woke locals” ploy to chase culturally genocidal tourists from Hawaii backfires as hospitality workers laid off in droves: “Capacity is well below where it should be for this time of year!”
Aloha.
Surfer-turned-war-crimes investigator Peter Maguire and the books you absolutely have to read, and the one genre you must avoid, “If they think their hatred of Trump somehow absolves them of their rank intellectual dishonesty… they should visit Walter Reed National Military Medical Center”
Beach reads for summer!
Hot young sponsored junior involved in Felipe Toledo’s “huge scuffle” at Lower Trestles discovered, gives account: “I did what I had to do… I felt him coming up from behind!”
The legend grows.
Fugitive living in Sydney’s Northern Beaches turns himself in after 30 years on the lam, cites stringent Covid lockdown restrictions as reason: “Stuff it, I’ll go back to prison.”
Strange days.
Construction boss from Colorado bests world champion surfer CJ Hobgood to win surfing’s most prestigious fantasy league; reveals amazing secret strategy!
Wins a thousand American dollars and custom Panda surfboard.
Listen: There is only one extravaganza that can beat the wildly successful World Surf League Finals Day and that is “Ben Gravy vs. The World!”
...a celebration of the everyman and graceful aging.
Famous Hollywood fairy Orlando Bloom shares video of himself paddleboarding next to Great White Shark: “When fear becomes your friend!”
Yikes.
Beloved philanthropist and surfboard pioneer reveals the shocking detail newly crowned world champion surfers Carissa Moore and Gabriel Medina missed in their victory speeches!
Can you guess? Do you know? Oowee etc.
Kelly Slater delivers “unmatched” Finals Day commentary performance: “There was nothing he didn’t proffer opinion on, nothing he didn’t know!”
Raft of stories from the Greatest Surfer Of All Time, including new J-Bay Great White account!