Rich white surfers “polluting the air breathed by LA’s people of colour” claims Los Angeles Times in bombshell op-ed from climate and environment desk!
“History fails to record one single instance in which the white man as a people did good.”
As Cameron Diaz officially retires for second time, surf fans lick lips in hope that former soon-to-be jobless “pal” Kelly Slater and acting great rekindle “friendship!”
Surfers on the bubble of dreaded WSL mid-season cut break into panicked sweat with announcement of revenge-crazed Owen Wright wildcard for upcoming Bells Beach!
Cape Fear comes to Torquay.
Fairytale turns sour as surf Olympian swindled of fortune by crooked bookkeeper and controversially cut from world tour despite grave brain injury sensationally quits pro surfing!
Owen gets a wildcard from his sponno Rip Curl for Bells, then he’s out.
Australian surf royalty Chris Hemsworth publicly executed for violent birthday attack on young son: “In my country this is done but very poorly looked upon because several accidents have already happened.”
Light your torch.
Surf fans finally give up all hope for fairytale reunion as Kelly Slater’s one-time love Gisele Bündchen rumored to be dating trust fund billionaire famous for string of supermodel exes!
That's all, folks.
World Surf League further degrades Hawaii, knocks “first jewel of Triple Crown” Haleiwa off the Challenger Series!
"The problem with Hawaii is..."
Filmmaker behind groundbreaking new surf film starring Luke Hemsworth reveals wild new details including “the bag of dicks” he used to identify the movie’s star-studded cast!
More cock than a women's swim meet!
Video showing Bali tourist becoming violent after being refused permission to ride his motorcycle through a Hindu purification ceremony shakes island paradise to its core!
"If tourists don’t respect Bali and its culture and ceremonies they don’t have a right to stay there. Seeing this makes me feel ashamed."
Chilean surfer callously sacrificed by World Surf League describes devastating pain of unilateral Yankee imperialism!
Surf fans bite nails down to nubs as living legend Kelly Slater hovers just below the dreaded cut line heading into Bells Beach!
But a ray of hope?
Surfer maliciously violated by shark plagued with lurid “mature audiences only” nightmares in aftermath!