A day of firsts!
Gabriel Medina, wherever he is, woke up right before the last frame of the Corona Cero Open J-Bay stunned. “An all-goofy final? Mind blown! Release the Epstein Files!” he commented, or some variation thereof. Surf fans, wherever they are, equally shocked. Jeffreys Bay, South Africa, is, of course, is one of the world’s greatest rights and so to have two screwlegs fighting for the elephant tusk “historicitacity,” to quote the great Jesse Mendes.
Yago Dora, current World Surf League number one, mowed through Leo Fioravanti in the quarters, Grif Colapinto in the semis to meet Connor O’Leary, thirteen heading into the finals, who made it past Ethan Ewing in quarters, Filipe Toledo, in semis.
Conditions very fine. Clean.
Gabby Bryan took down Molly Picklum, on the women’s side, after the Australian completely blew it by not paddling on a last second bomb. World number two upsetting world number one heading into Teahupo’o.
Then time for Dora versus O’Leary.
Dora getting the action started with a leg-burning cooker, head high, tagging the lip over and over again. Up and vertical, not too tight. He was rewarded with a crisp 7.00.
Joe Turpel took time to fat shame O’Leary, while Dora was paddling back out, discussing how his boards need to have much more volume to support the “bigger frame.
The World Surf League, then, refused to show his opener which was, apparently, a 3.33.
Dora swung back again, showcasing flair but then O’Leary-time. Turpel warning the wave to “look out” for the girth.
The sumo wrestler was lauded with an 8.17.
Back and forth the two left-footers went, trading waves, trading leads until the end, Dora never mounting a true challenge.
To be honest, the day felt like it belonged to O’Leary and, thus, he is rewarded with his first Championship Tour victory.
Omedetō
Connor did a job on the pretenders throughout. God blessed him. The Lexus final showdown would be perfect for the Cronulla lad. Unlikely to happen. Unless the WSL change the rules last minute once more. Japan’s favourite son gets chiseled in somehow.
Connor ! Close the O’reary Dora will ya ! and he did.
What did that contest prove, well for me its confirmation of my impression that the big zaffabru for all the hyperbowl is not the king of JBay.
But the brave Brazilian Filipe is, moreso at least.
Jordy was cruelled by marginal, fading swell conditions, nothing more
Come on man you have to try harder that that
When he got EE with the buzzer beater I thought no don’t do that to Oz’s only Top 5 hope. You’re a journeyman back marker battler. But then again EE choked and Connor went berko, so well deserved.
Backed it up with a 10 in the semi and then kept going ballistic in the final. Good on him. Kinda like Miggy winning Chopes. Good bloke. Good surfer. Good win. Good onya.
As for surfing for Japan, why not? My kids are mixed Oz/Japanese with both passports, though we live in Japan. If they choose to represent either country at whatever – most likely tantrum screams right now – then I’ll be stoked whichever they choose. One parent’ll be more stoked than the other, but meh, them’s the breaks. And them’s the rules, which he ain’t breaking.
おめでとう indeed Connor-san.
Grif right on the cusp in 6th place. Gonna SEND it at Chopes!
According to my calculations Fil has to win Tahiti to get in final 5. Doubt it
Griff just has to finish one spot higher than Ethan. Unless jack comes through like a wrecking ball.
fil is screwed.
Better chance he pulls a sickie!
What if he smashes it ? We’ll be fucked
The lion will roar. Mark these words.
Roar his frustration in the bogs aftger not catching any waves above head high.
word is, that Felipe has been undergoing a top secret training program in which Fire Engines and firefighters surprisingly show up and open their fire hoses on him in some of the most dangerous of terrain, launching him across pavement, streets, sidewalks, rock jetties, train tracks, grocery store isles, against liquor store mural walls, into ICE raids, etc., to prepare him for getting fire-hosed into the reef at Teahupo’o.
Kind of like the surprise attacks launched on Clouseau by this “little yellow friend” Kato….but bigger and yellower.
Yeah he’ll roar with fake pain as he pulls out with an injury on seeing waves over 4ft in the swell forecast.
Ah man he is going to sell so many Hurley wetties and boardies now
Just ordered mine.
I’m Turning Japanese (1980) now.
Mrs Mop cleaned up. God bless him.
That Jeffery Epstein Pro sure was exciting , hoorah for those Japanese
On the men’s side that’s three wins in a row for goofs. End times indeed.
The fight back against the anti goof agenda is in full effect!
It ain’t Natural.
Unless it’s Occy winning I can’t deal with it. Or Gabby.
We look forward to keep the ball rolling at chopes.
Just looking at the women’s heats, and damn, what a beautiful place.
He got a 10, of course the day belonged to him. RELEASE THE EPSTEIN FILES!!
Repping the ‘Land of the Rising Cunt!
You really don’t like the guy eh?
Actually no, I think he fucking smashes it. Do I joke him that much?
O’leary’s style is crazy. Wide-legged, squat stance but seems to work. Trippy how he just stands still between hacks.
I don’t dig the stance between cracks. But damn he crushes the lip
I’m thinking Ewing gets bumped out of the top five at Teahupoo by Jack or Mamiya. Italo, too.
How about Grif?!?! He’s in 6th place!
Griff and Ethan are basically a heat apart on points, so it will come down to who goes furthest in Tahiti. Jack and Barron need to have a fair amount go right for them and a fair amount go wrong for everyone above them to crack into the top five.
Winning helps. Vaast and the trials winner will get Jordy and Dora early on. The wildcards could reshuffle the deck as the rounds proceed.
This is also why every single event needs to have a trials, and allow trials winners to accrue points—make Curren’s 1990 title possible again, even though it will never be replicated.
The rigid three tiered caste system of the WSL insures it won’t. Strange how they make everyone grovel for a place at the table, yet hand out a local wildcard every CT event. Curren’s 90 run is truly epic. Riding longer boards than everyone, too, if my memories are correct.
keep the caste system, but I’d say open up the avenue of skipping the line if you’re good enough to reliably win the trials. just exclude anyone who elects to be on the QS or CS from the trials and see who wants a bit of a long shot crack in lieu of that hamster mill.
It will be good to see women’s world #2 finally have to go left soon.
Ya know, I’m enjoying Gabriela blowing up in the rights. I’m fine if she falls apart going left and someone else wins the title. I like Molly’s surfing a bunch at this event, to0.
Caity not really figuring out J-Bay was weird, tho.
I doubled up Caity on fantasy. Big mistake. Maybe its the post world title blues?The talent is there but is the heart? More questions than answers.
Conner was lethal on his backhand! Good on Ya mate.
looking forward to watching..
Maybe now he can afford a barber.
*dogs get groomed.
hahaha
Very enjoyable night of top sports action!!
Great cameo of the seal murdering the octopus.
which heat was that during?
Mollys first heat i think
I forgive you for clowning me. But I won’t forget
You’re a good human.
Cheers, big ears.
for anyone who hasn’t seen it:
https://www.instagram.com/p/DMPZvyIhnUr/
And now for Pip’s grand master stroke.
The Sting comes to mind.
Watch closely.
Xox
He’s been waiting for this! Faked the Olympics even!
From Asterisk to Obelisk.
Letsssss goooooooo!
Xox
He’ll show up at the Huntington Beach challenger series with a wildcard, but get taken out by hop-master Kolohe in 2′ slop.
With his athletes winning in both the men’s and women’s draws Dog Marsh just made like $16k for watching a few days of surfing and telling the surfers “ayyyee surf better next round, ya cunts”… not a bad living at all!
I reckon after tax, flights, accomodation, food, beers and safari tickets that he’ll take home around $1300.