South Africa’s Jordy Smith makes shocking prediction in obscure news outlet ahead of summer Olympics: “It’s clear that Japan isn’t very brave and will be hit by a typhoon, but it rarely happens in July, so we have to do our best to prepare for the worst.”

Viva the wall?

Professional surfing been in a desert of such overwhelming positivity, such saccharine sweetness, over the past five or such years that my  eyeballs almost popped out of my head, this morning, reading Jordy Smith’s brutally honest assessment of professional surfing’s Olympic debut just weeks away now.

Just yesterday, the large South African spoke with News 24, saying, “Having that extra year at our disposal was almost a blessing in disguise as we were able to get more equipment and data from the Olympic surf spot. Olympic but for the Champions Tour. In Japan, it’s (the surfboard) is going to be a lot smaller, a lot more volume and more gallons inside the board for smaller waves. They’re (the waves) are pretty gutless in Japan, obviously you can get a typhoon, but it’s rare that it’ll happen in July so you’ve got to prepare for the worst and give it your all.”

How gorgeous is that honesty? How refreshingly brutal? It did make me wonder, however, where this News 24 is based and if they did, in fact, elicit such an open response from the current world number three, so off searching I went.

My first stop was Dubuque River Rides, which had the same story but quoted Smith as saying, “They’re pretty shameless in Japan, obviously you can catch a typhoon, but that rarely happens in July, so you have to brace yourself for the worst and give it your all.”

Ouch.

Pretty shameless in Japan seems excessive but is that what he really said? A more accurate reading? And so I went searching once more finding Eminetra, which translated as, “It’s clear that Japan isn’t very brave and will be hit by a typhoon, but it rarely happens in July, so we have to do our best to prepare for the worst.”

Whoa, whoa, whoa.

It’s clear that Japan isn’t very brave and will be hit by a typhoon?

The boldest claim Smith has ever made in a series of bold claims but true? His actual words?

I find it difficult, if not impossible, to believe.

But is this why World Surf League CEO Erik “ELo” Logan has worked so tirelessly to build and maintain the patented Wall of Positive Noise?

Any criticism getting taken, negativity layered on, layered on, layered on then rebroadcast as a harsh non-sequitur?

Gutless becoming shameless becoming not brave and worthy of destruction?

“It’s clear that Japan isn’t very brave and will be hit by a typhoon” is the meanest thing I’ve ever read (that didn’t come from Kelly Slater’s mouth).

Viva the Wall?