Kourtney Kardashian’s Carpinteria neighbour Dane Reynolds escapes paparazzi with cameo at Sumatran secret spot

What separates a Dane Reynolds edit from the rest is joyous purity, energy and barrel riding that hits you in the stomach.

Only two years ago, the rural idyll of go-for-broke former world number four Dane Reynolds was shattered by the arrival of Kourtney Kardashian and her husband Travis Barker, the pint-sized jack-in-the-box drummer for Blink 182.

Although he is yet to speak publicly about the sale of Conan O’Brien’s old joint on Padaro Lane there in Serena Cove, Carpinteria, to Travis and Kourtney it’s no secret that this is a man who likes his privacy.

In this latest YouTube instalment for Chapter 11 TV, Dane Reynolds has escaped the noise of Central California for the wilds of Sumatra, the second largest of the Greater Sunda Islands, in the Malay Archipelago. Here, Reynolds thrills surf fans with a performance that proves he is still as limber as a Haitian dancer. An Australian surfer with meringue-white skin and strawberry red hair summarises the mood of the pack with a Fisher-esque to-camera monologue.

“Oh mate, fuck, good to have a a crack, couple of legends out there doing their thing, inspiring shit, thank you Sumatra, la la la la la la.”

What separates a Dane Reynolds edit from the rest is an excellent question. The ingredients are joyous purity, energy and barrel riding that hits you in the stomach.

Two weeks ago, Reynolds showcased his dramatic weight loss in a new edit, filmed six months after he was nearly killed after a blow to his head.

And last month, Dane Reynolds lionised the slacker lifestyle in a controversial anti-MAGA edit that pushed back against conventional lifestyles, the sort championed by the fundamentalist Protestant right and red-hatters.

Nathan Florence finger-strokes wildest slab yet, “This may’ve only ever been surfed by bodyboarders”

"We're going to see if we can stand up on a wave…"

Like a red-hot balloon ready to pop, Nathan Florence ain’t gonna die wondering if a wave is surfable.

And, here in a video from his recent holiday in Western Australia, we find the almost thirty year old finger-stroking a wave he says had only ever been surfed by bodyboarders.

“Love surfing waves I’ve never surfed before,” says Florence. “This one may have only been surfed by bodyboarders previously, but we did our best to get to our feet… Big ones hard to find an entry but they were beautiful to watch gurgle through.”

Nathan Florence was previously on your screens one month ago when he quit his 100-ish percent sponsorship with Vans to ride for big bro John John.

Significant cameos in the include the teenager Ned Hart, a Nazare-Shipstern-The Right-charging super kid whose ability to ride waves that give other men bulging, terror-bright eyes has made him a media sensation.

And pointing the camera at the event is Chris Whitey, a literal Ninja warrior and bodyboard legend who came into the wider world’s focus almost a decade ago when Kelly Slater saved his wife and kid from drowning in Hawaii.

The pair had were swept across the North Shore’s Kam Highway by one of those great North Shore pulses. The kid, who was strapped into his pram, was separated from mammy and deposited upside down, drinking water etc.

Now, if your kid and gal were washed across the Kam Highway by a rogue wave, who’d you want to be there to scoop ‘em up?

How about Kelly Slater, who just happened to be around ‘cause he couldn’t get out at giant Waimea?

A ludicrous dream, no?

But there he was, talking to a pal at the lifeguard tower at Rockpiles when he saw the catastrophe about to unfold: women in headphones, with pram, on bike path, about to be belted.

So he runs over, gets to the pram, flips it upright, gets the kid’s head out of the water, scoops sand out of his mouth so he can breathe, helps out mammy, gives ‘em a lift home.

Ever since, Chris and Kelly have been buddies, “He’s a surf Jesus,” says Chris

And, so, it must be said, is Nathan Florence.


World #4 surfer Dane Reynolds showcases dramatic weight loss in new Costa Rican travelogue

For a man whose immutable sadness is masked by vivacity, Dane Reynolds is still worth all the pro surfers in the world combined.

The Bakersfield surfer Dane Reynolds, known for his intuitive and explosive style of surfing and who was rated fourth in the world thirteen years ago, has showcased his dramatic weight loss in a new film released earlier today.

The almost-forty-year-old, a father of three and a millionaire a few times over, is famous for his daddy body, massive like the country that gave him birth.

Yet when he surfs, and as I’ve previously noted, he becomes like a cowboy of the Westerns: ready to fire his guns at the drop of a hat, getting into a rage at the least provocation.

In his latest video, filmed six months after he was nearly killed after a blow to thread left him hospitalised, we see a leaner, sleeker Dane Reynolds, down to 200 pounds or thereabouts, surfing freshly and originally.

For a man who turned the simple act of pro surfing into a metaphysical tragedy, and whose immutable sadness is masked by vivacity, Dane Reynolds is still worth all the pro surfers in the world combined.


Dane Reynolds lionises slacker lifestyle in controversial anti-MAGA edit

"It takes skill to become an adult by skating along and never dedicating your time and energy into a specific career."

The go-for-broke Bakersfield surfer Dane Reynolds has released his latest riposte to conventional lifestyles, the sort pushed by the fundamentalist Protestant right and red-hatters, with the edit “We did a great job of doing nothing.”

“Matt and I were surfing Emma Wood – if you call it that… Anyone else feel California has dipped into a deep dark black hole that won’t allow any decent waves to reach the coast?” writes Dane Reynolds.

“Anyways, we were shooting the shit about how impressive it is that one of our dear friends had gotten to where he’s at in life without actually doing anything. It’s very impressive. It takes a certain skill to become an adult by skating along, never applying yourself or dedicating your time and energy into a specific career but somehow he comes out on top time after time.”

Dane Reynolds continues:

“‘Did a great job of doing nothing’ stuck. It’s used to describe a daily grovel that you can barely even call exercise, or a day in the shop when nothings working, ruining screens, staining clothes, no customers, spam calls, broken printer… those times when you just seem to be spinning your wheels.

“I found a stack of black and white prints at the swap meet taken by a racing enthusiast. One of em was of a Buick Regal spinning its wheels before a race and it clicked. That’s the name of the film. ‘We did a great job, of doing nothing’”

Dane Reynolds is the master of the razor-sharp riposte.

One year ago, almost to the day, came his riposte to what he described as the WSL’s “pandering bullshit.”

As always with the almost forty-year-old daddy of three, essential.

Jamie O’Brien returns to notorious wave that nearly killed him just one year ago as flash floods hit Oahu

"I hope everyone's going to be alright," warns YouTube superstar Jamie O'Brien. "It's a dangerous one."

Pipeline is roughly fifty steps from the modern luxury of Jamie O’Brien’s spacious home. The walls are hung with posters, photographs and abstracts nudes drawn by O’Brien himself.

Explorer, nomad, YouTuber, as he is, forty year old Jamie O’Brien does not despise the pleasures of the upholsterer as is shown by the handsome cabinets, the sumptuous settees, the soft rugs.

He is barrel chested with a freckled complexion, keen eyes and speaks with a low convincing and attractive voice.

However, today, it’s not Pipeline where Jamie O’Brien is taking his more than one million subscribers but to Waimea Bay where flash flooding means the Waimea river has to be opened lest it spill its banks. Keen fans of Jamie O’Brien will recall it was this time last year when the very same brown-water wave nearly took his life.

Jamie tried to ride it only to be sucked out to sea and when he eventually returned he said he’d almost died.

“I knew that it was going to be the biggest river wave ever ridden. It was sending me everywhere. I was like, ‘Don’t fall on this, Jamie. Don’t fall.’ I couldn’t control my board, and I honestly just fell right back. It’s like a 10 or 12 foot wave, and it sucked me back. Then there was another wave, and it was just as big, and I’m like, ‘oh my god. I’m gonna die. My leash is gonna break. I’m in a very bad spot.

“That wave just tumbles me, and tumbles me, and tumbles me…then, boom. It lets me out where the river meets the ocean. And the [ocean] waves were 15 feet. Huge Waimea. Probably one of the dumbest things I’ve ever done in my life. I don’t even know where I am. I pop up in the middle of Waimea Bay, 300 yards out in the middle of the ocean and the waves are 15 feet. Not a good idea.”

It ain’t quite so dramatic, here, but Jamie O’Brien is more cautious than you might think.

“I hope everyone’s going to be alright,” warns the YouTube superstar. “It’s a dangerous one.”

The most appealing part of the film is the process by which the wave is made. Blurred voices, shirtless men, incessant rain.

It’ll give you an infusion of blood!