Actor and new Malibu local Jonah Hill cements position as “Patron Saint of VALs” with release of first epic surf short!

Surfing goes to the Olympics, finals day analysis: “Played as straight-up elite sport surfing came out smelling like roses, thanks to the superstar power of Italo, Moore, Medina!”

The no-names added a frisson of David v Goliath excitement, largely illusory, but that could mean more at Teahupoo in three years time.
by Longtom
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Julian Wilson’s Olympic dream “crushed by judges, Brazilian bias!” fumes Australian Press after round three elimination by Gabriel Medina.

“This is it for me travelling outside of Australia."
by Derek Rielly
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Son of poor Brazilian fisherman Italo Ferreira wins historic first Olympic surfing gold medal in wild typhoon surf, “It was our moment of truth!”

Reigning world champ Italo Ferreira adds Olympic Gold to collection…
by Derek Rielly
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Kolohe Andino makes largely forbidden “throat slashing gesture” in victory over countryman John John Florence: “It was like cutting the snake off the head!”

Ride or die.
by Chas Smith
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Surfing goes to the Olympics, finals day analysis: “Played as straight-up elite sport surfing came out smelling like roses, thanks to the superstar power of Italo, Moore, Medina!”

The no-names added a frisson of David v Goliath excitement, largely illusory, but that could mean more at Teahupoo in three years time.

Julian Wilson’s Olympic dream “crushed by judges, Brazilian bias!” fumes Australian Press after round three elimination by Gabriel Medina.

“This is it for me travelling outside of Australia."

Son of poor Brazilian fisherman Italo Ferreira wins historic first Olympic surfing gold medal in wild typhoon surf, “It was our moment of truth!”

Reigning world champ Italo Ferreira adds Olympics gold to collection…

Kolohe Andino makes largely forbidden “throat slashing gesture” in victory over countryman John John Florence: “It was like cutting the snake off the head!”

Ride or die.

Surfing goes to the Olympics, day two analysis: “The muddy mess and incomprehensible scoring will not provide succour to ELO’s fevered dream of an Olympic-led surfing boom”

Not what the Duke had in mind when he envisioned the Sport of Kings as an Olympic sport.

Watch Mason Ho raise hell and beat the goddamn out of Mex points in “Them damn burritos ain’t good for nothing but a hippie, when he’s high on weed!”

"We're fortunate to have Mason Ho in our lives."

InStyle magazine boldly declares that the world is on the cusp of a “Billabong renaissance” after surfing’s grand Olympic debut!

We are back!

Surfing goes to the Tokyo Olympics, day one analysis: “Medina and Ferreira are both equally likely to transcend the sport. Medina’s Villain and Italo’s Joker are archetypes that can be understood by anyone”

"Could surfing in the Olympics produce a Shawn White or a Torah Bright, and who could that be?"

Blood feud: Surfing great Shaun Tomson slams marquee Volcom surfer in wild harangue, “Noa Deane, he’s a big mouth, I want to see that dude get a wildcard at ten-foot Pipe against Gabriel Medina. He’ll be crying! His body will be flayed!”

"The guy’s got a big mouth and never stops whining about the WSL. Let’s see that dude step up!"

Mainstream Media credits forecasting website Surfline with “guaranteeing waves” for surfing’s Olympic debut!

Bullish.

Sign of the times: Shark bite kits installed in beach car parks along stretch of iconic Western Australian surf spots!

A triumph of pragmatism.

Jeff Bezos organ The Washington Post describes Olympic surfing with never-before-seen flourish: “It’s big enough for her to barrel – riding through a cascading tunnel of water!”

Get barrel.

Actor and new Malibu local Jonah Hill cements position as “Patron Saint of VALs” with release of first epic surf short!

Surfing goes to the Olympics, finals day analysis: “Played as straight-up elite sport surfing came out smelling like roses, thanks to the superstar power of Italo, Moore, Medina!”

Julian Wilson’s Olympic dream “crushed by judges, Brazilian bias!” fumes Australian Press after round three elimination by Gabriel Medina.

Son of poor Brazilian fisherman Italo Ferreira wins historic first Olympic surfing gold medal in wild typhoon surf, “It was our moment of truth!”

Kolohe Andino makes largely forbidden “throat slashing gesture” in victory over countryman John John Florence: “It was like cutting the snake off the head!”

Surfing goes to the Olympics, finals day analysis: “Played as straight-up elite sport surfing came out smelling like roses, thanks to the superstar power of Italo, Moore, Medina!”

Julian Wilson’s Olympic dream “crushed by judges, Brazilian bias!” fumes Australian Press after round three elimination by Gabriel Medina.

Son of poor Brazilian fisherman Italo Ferreira wins historic first Olympic surfing gold medal in wild typhoon surf, “It was our moment of truth!”

Kolohe Andino makes largely forbidden “throat slashing gesture” in victory over countryman John John Florence: “It was like cutting the snake off the head!”

Surfing goes to the Olympics, day two analysis: “The muddy mess and incomprehensible scoring will not provide succour to ELO’s fevered dream of an Olympic-led surfing boom”

Watch Mason Ho raise hell and beat the goddamn out of Mex points in “Them damn burritos ain’t good for nothing but a hippie, when he’s high on weed!”

InStyle magazine boldly declares that the world is on the cusp of a “Billabong renaissance” after surfing’s grand Olympic debut!

Surfing goes to the Tokyo Olympics, day one analysis: “Medina and Ferreira are both equally likely to transcend the sport. Medina’s Villain and Italo’s Joker are archetypes that can be understood by anyone”

Blood feud: Surfing great Shaun Tomson slams marquee Volcom surfer in wild harangue, “Noa Deane, he’s a big mouth, I want to see that dude get a wildcard at ten-foot Pipe against Gabriel Medina. He’ll be crying! His body will be flayed!”

Mainstream Media credits forecasting website Surfline with “guaranteeing waves” for surfing’s Olympic debut!

Sign of the times: Shark bite kits installed in beach car parks along stretch of iconic Western Australian surf spots!

Jeff Bezos organ The Washington Post describes Olympic surfing with never-before-seen flourish: “It’s big enough for her to barrel – riding through a cascading tunnel of water!”

From the archives:Listen: Is surf localism simply a more historically rooted form of modern Karenism?

US doctor responds to insane fury after solo-surfing Jeffreys Bay during Coronavirus lockdown: “I hate that I provoked such anger!”

Iron Fist: Manhattan Beach surfer cops $1,000 fine for “disrespecting a lifeguard” during “Reign of Coronavirus Terror!”

Photographer captures up-close image of Great White shark’s “sinister sneer” thereby proving apex-predators’ penchant for “sadism and evil!”

Watch Mason Ho raise hell and beat the goddamn out of Mex points in “Them damn burritos ain’t good for nothing but a hippie, when he’s high on weed!”

Surf brand formerly owned by Saint Laurent and Gucci releases stunning surf film, “I went to the asylum and I all I got was this lousy Lobotomy!”

Watch: the moment Carlsbad stuntman Poopies is pulled, bloodied, from shark pen in Happy Days-inspired shark jump stunt gone wrong for Discovery Channel’s Shark Week, “I need a 911 emergency call!”

Witness: The Great White “was going like a rocket straight at us. I can see it so clearly, its mouth was open. I lifted my feet, grabbed the board…”

Watch: Jackie Dorian, Badger Daddy and Pals in “Pretty People Oughta Hitch Up with Pretty People!”

Watch: Big Daddy Ho and chillun in “Hush up your blasphemin’, Lucifer, and let me loose!”

Actor and new Malibu local Jonah Hill cements position as “Patron Saint of VALs” with release of first epic surf short!

Surfing goes to the Olympics, finals day analysis: “Played as straight-up elite sport surfing came out smelling like roses, thanks to the superstar power of Italo, Moore, Medina!”

Julian Wilson’s Olympic dream “crushed by judges, Brazilian bias!” fumes Australian Press after round three elimination by Gabriel Medina.

Son of poor Brazilian fisherman Italo Ferreira wins historic first Olympic surfing gold medal in wild typhoon surf, “It was our moment of truth!”

Kolohe Andino makes largely forbidden “throat slashing gesture” in victory over countryman John John Florence: “It was like cutting the snake off the head!”

From the archives:Listen: Is surf localism simply a more historically rooted form of modern Karenism?

Eat beach grit spam!