Opinion: History will now officially remember world’s greatest surfer Kelly Slater as the seventh or maybe eighth best athlete of his generation!
Not the B.O.A.T.
Inspiration: Honolulu boy paralyzed in rare surfing accident becomes card trick master, president of Hawaii’s Society of American Magicians!
Wonder and amazement!
Greatest surfer ever Kelly Slater announces shock withdrawal from Merewether CT and, likely, Narrabeen, effectively ending chance for world title surf-off in September; cites four-year-old injury as reason: “I’ve been struggling…constant pain!”
Hip, foot in mess, unable to surf etc.
Listen: It is time for one brave male QS warrior to rise up, self-identify as female, qualify for the women’s championship tour and bring home the title!
History is calling, Tomas Hermes. Will you answer?
Mariah Carey’s surf-adjacent brother sues rich and famous sister: “I have suffered extreme mental anguish and serious damage to my reputation!”
Ian Walsh may, or may not, know something.
Surfer Pauline Menczer was the victim of world sports’ most brutal and blatant sexism; a clear historical wrong
Should WSL atone for Pro Surfing's historical sexism?
Olympic surfing hopeful who had colon removed to chase Tokyo Gold wearing colostomy bag: “I used to go to the bathroom twenty times a day…I’m happy with my little bag!”
And will use custom surfboard with curved deck to fit bag…
Italian surf historian declares people surfing in China thousands of years before Polynesia: “There’s some who tread on drifting wood performing hundreds of water tricks, having fun, each displaying great mastery!”
Big Trouble etc.
San Diego senior women’s boogie board club a shining beacon of joy in sea of grouch: “I always feel better with my brain when I go Boogie Boarding!”
Priceless joy.
Buy: Mad Max’s iconic oceanfront hideout near Bells Beach for $11 million!
"The property offers the extremely rare combination of beautiful views, immediate access to the beach and total privacy."
Once-beloved children’s author, Billabong collaborator, Dr. Seuss officially cancelled: “(These books) portray people in ways that are hurtful and wrong.”
Blame La Jolla.
In stunning post, The New York Times recognizes VAL-mageddon, blames social media: “What used to be a relatively niche hobby is now in full view, compounding interest!”
It's a beautiful life.
