WSL surfing tour in shock as teenage heir apparent to world title tests positive for COVID-19; withdraws from today’s LA-Sydney charter flight!
"Very unfortunate news."
Eminent historian eviscerates controversial author of Cocaine and Surfing for inaccuracies in reporting birth of surfing in China: “This time you passed the mark and put false words in my mouth”
"Affirming that I declared that surfing happened in China ‘Thousands of years before Polynesia’ is blatantly false and casts a bad light on my professionalism."
Business: Luxury surf resort hires professional surf photographer to capture guests’ every head-dip, each four-stage pop-up!
Everyone is a star!
Ocean lovers mourn “execution” of half-ton Tiger Shark by sports fishermen just off popular Sydney surf beach: “This animal was one of the important fishes in the sea!”
“I felt sick, because sharks have been around for 400 million years and it’s only in the past 50 years that humans have been doing such a great job of getting rid of them."
Opinion: History will now officially remember world’s greatest surfer Kelly Slater as the seventh or maybe eighth best athlete of his generation!
Not the B.O.A.T.
Inspiration: Honolulu boy paralyzed in rare surfing accident becomes card trick master, president of Hawaii’s Society of American Magicians!
Wonder and amazement!
Greatest surfer ever Kelly Slater announces shock withdrawal from Merewether CT and, likely, Narrabeen, effectively ending chance for world title surf-off in September; cites four-year-old injury as reason: “I’ve been struggling…constant pain!”
Hip, foot in mess, unable to surf etc.
Listen: It is time for one brave male QS warrior to rise up, self-identify as female, qualify for the women’s championship tour and bring home the title!
History is calling, Tomas Hermes. Will you answer?
Mariah Carey’s surf-adjacent brother sues rich and famous sister: “I have suffered extreme mental anguish and serious damage to my reputation!”
Ian Walsh may, or may not, know something.
Surfer Pauline Menczer was the victim of world sports’ most brutal and blatant sexism; a clear historical wrong
Should WSL atone for Pro Surfing's historical sexism?
Olympic surfing hopeful who had colon removed to chase Tokyo Gold wearing colostomy bag: “I used to go to the bathroom twenty times a day…I’m happy with my little bag!”
And will use custom surfboard with curved deck to fit bag…
Italian surf historian declares people surfing in China thousands of years before Polynesia: “There’s some who tread on drifting wood performing hundreds of water tricks, having fun, each displaying great mastery!”
Big Trouble etc.
