Chart-topping British singer Anne-Marie rudely slapped in the face by Great White Shark while visiting South Africa: “It swam past then slapped me in the face with its tail. I was in shock!”
Blame Erik Logan.
Volume calculator: In semi-annual “celebrities who love to surf” featurette, Page Six reveals Tinseltown’s favorite board is the 8-foot egg for 20-years running!
'Til death do us part.
Wild Jetski Launch during Hawaiian mega-swell snaps surf photographer’s spine, “I legitimately thought I was paralysed!”
"I just remember feeling weightless and it taking a really long time to come down."
Breaking: North Bondi hippie party seeking to “reconnect people through dance and live music” explodes in popularity as concerned citizens attempt to shame attendees on social media!
Phish sucks.
Watch: Frenchwoman Justine Dupont makes her case for “Wave of the Winter” with gaping Jaws barrel!
Unprecedented times.
Watch: You’ve seen Pete “The Condor” Mel’s wave of the decade, you’ve read the interview, now experience the most handsome man in surfing in all his salt and pepper glory!
Madonna would blush.
Question: How long is a surfer allowed to jaw in the lineup, post infraction, before the altercation must be taken to the beach?
Help wanted.
The New Yorker mytho-poetically rhapsodizes over Montauk man who surfed for nine hours, fifteen minutes on the winter solstice: “He had been moved to tears … by the merging awareness of the beauty around him and the suffering of the world.”
Includes bonus appearance by twenty-foot Great White shark!
Valiant Oahu lifeguards save over 80 people from Davey Jones’ Locker in one historic day: “The monstrous waves were indiscriminately grabbing the young and old alike!”
"And you, you can be mean. And I, I'll drink all the time."
Obituary: Surf historian Matt Warshaw weighs in on Ben Aipa’s legacy, “If the wave had enough power his mechanics were so perfect that he didn’t have to really flex or push, just lean and hold and release. He was a beautiful surfer”
"It was like Dumbo the Elephant, where at first you're almost laughing, kind of "Oh, look at the fat guy surfing." And then very quickly you realize he's amazingly graceful and fluid."
Iconic Hawaiian surfboard shaper and power surfing bulldozer Ben Aipa, dead at seventy-eight: “A man from a poor sugar cane plantation who would change the face of surfing!”
"A humble colossus whose impact echoed thru the decades."
“Heroic” pigeon escapes death penalty after it was revealed his trip from America to Australia was fraudulent: “The bird band in Australia is counterfeit and not traceable. They do not need to kill him.”
Yago Dora rejoices.
