Watch: You’ve seen Pete “The Condor” Mel’s wave of the decade, you’ve read the interview, now experience the most handsome man in surfing in all his salt and pepper glory!
Madonna would blush.
Question: How long is a surfer allowed to jaw in the lineup, post infraction, before the altercation must be taken to the beach?
Help wanted.
The New Yorker mytho-poetically rhapsodizes over Montauk man who surfed for nine hours, fifteen minutes on the winter solstice: “He had been moved to tears … by the merging awareness of the beauty around him and the suffering of the world.”
Includes bonus appearance by twenty-foot Great White shark!
Valiant Oahu lifeguards save over 80 people from Davey Jones’ Locker in one historic day: “The monstrous waves were indiscriminately grabbing the young and old alike!”
"And you, you can be mean. And I, I'll drink all the time."
Obituary: Surf historian Matt Warshaw weighs in on Ben Aipa’s legacy, “If the wave had enough power his mechanics were so perfect that he didn’t have to really flex or push, just lean and hold and release. He was a beautiful surfer”
"It was like Dumbo the Elephant, where at first you're almost laughing, kind of "Oh, look at the fat guy surfing." And then very quickly you realize he's amazingly graceful and fluid."
Iconic Hawaiian surfboard shaper and power surfing bulldozer Ben Aipa, dead at seventy-eight: “A man from a poor sugar cane plantation who would change the face of surfing!”
"A humble colossus whose impact echoed thru the decades."
“Heroic” pigeon escapes death penalty after it was revealed his trip from America to Australia was fraudulent: “The bird band in Australia is counterfeit and not traceable. They do not need to kill him.”
Yago Dora rejoices.
Mick Fanning and Ross Williams absolutely roast Julian Wilson, Jordy Smith, Filipe Toledo, women in penultimate episode of Getting Heated: “Daddy, I don’t want to hear that. Can you put your headphones on?”
More questions than answers.
VAL-Lit: “Is competence still a prerequisite for localism? Or have we substituted financial wellbeing and an abundance of free time for skill?”
The corruption of a great meritocracy…
Recently cancelled surf-adjacent musical artist Ariel Pink goes on Tucker Carlson to explain his side of story: “This pretty much leaves me destitute and on the street.”
"Standing up for what is right."
Surfers unexpectedly benefit from effects of climate change once again as new study reveals warmer ocean waters making baby sharks “smaller, undernourished and exhausted!”
Doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo...
Brazilian news outlets speculate wildly on world surfing champion Gabriel Medina and soccer superstar Neymar Jr’s close friendship: “It’s not normal to see two men like this!”
“Football and surfing stars are seen together whenever a gap in their professional careers is possible…”
