BeachGrit bg-logo
  • Podcast
  • Hot Cinema
      • Beachgrit TV
      • Pro Surfer Edits
      • Full-Length Features
      • Novelty Junk
      Fashion model Koa Smith releases harrowing POV footage of surviving “sixty-foot waves” at secret outer reef, “I’m so grateful and psyched, I thought I was about to die!”
      World’s sexiest over-fifty Laird Hamilton reveals the fat-soaked diet, and home gymnasium, that keep him wildly fit as he enters his harvest years, “The doctor was covered in my blood, all over his mask. I could feel him yanking on me!”
      Hawaiian heartthrob and scion of North Shore strongman Koa Rothman reveals myriads secrets, including an exploding rubber suit, he uses to survive “fifty-foot Waimea Bay!”
  • Shop
  • Concierge

Surf world in meltdown as world champs and pivotal industry figures line up to claim a ride by Australian Laura Enever as biggest paddle-in wave by a woman ever, “That’s a new world record WSL!”

  • Twenty-four beachfront houses on fabled stretch of Hawaii’s North Shore to be condemned by the state under proposed new law due to “unstoppable reality” of sea-level rises!

    "How do we get ourselves out of this fix? Sunset ... we can't lose that beach. It is like losing part of Waikiki Beach."

    by Derek Rielly
    • 0
  • Gerry Lopez vomits in his knock-off Birkenstocks as artificial intelligence insists “Mr. Pipeline” to be Australian strongman Ian Cairns then Brazil’s cowardly lion Filipe Toledo!

    Also, Quiksilver as "ultra hard surf candy."

    by Com Turren
    • 0
  • American icon Pamela Anderson admits to lying about her feelings for surf great Kelly Slater, declares him her “big love, actually!”

    Champion in water. Champion on land.

    by Chas Smith
    • 0
  • Open Thread: Comment Live, Day Two of the Billabong Pro Pipeline where those who kid themselves about their behavior don’t learn a thing!

    by Chas Smith
    • 0

Twenty-four beachfront houses on fabled stretch of Hawaii’s North Shore to be condemned by the state under proposed new law due to “unstoppable reality” of sea-level rises!

"How do we get ourselves out of this fix? Sunset ... we can't lose that beach. It is like losing part of Waikiki Beach."

By Derek Rielly

  • Comments
    0

Gerry Lopez vomits in his knock-off Birkenstocks as artificial intelligence insists “Mr. Pipeline” to be Australian strongman Ian Cairns then Brazil’s cowardly lion Filipe Toledo!

Also, Quiksilver as "ultra hard surf candy."

By Com Turren

  • Comments
    0

American icon Pamela Anderson admits to lying about her feelings for surf great Kelly Slater, declares him her “big love, actually!”

Champion in water. Champion on land.

By Chas Smith

  • Comments
    0

Open Thread: Comment Live, Day Two of the Billabong Pro Pipeline where those who kid themselves about their behavior don’t learn a thing!

By Chas Smith

  • Comments
    0

Apple shares somehow soar even after high tech giant’s signature watch comes under heavy criticism from surf stars Caio Ibelli and Leonardo Fioravanti!

A corporate juggernaut.

By Chas Smith

  • Comments
    0

WSL’s wall of positive noise comes crashing down on day one of the Billabong Pro Pipeline amid wild scenes of fat-shaming and sabre rattling, “Apropos of nothing, Shane Dorian started baying for deer blood, indicating he’d shoot anything on sight!”

WSL bingo for the day consisted of various iterations of sand on the reef, bumps on the horizon (which rarely materialised), Apple watches, shaper rankings, and the word “sendy”.

By JP Currie

  • Comments
    0

Surf world in shock as House of Gucci pin-up and Italian surf Olympian Leo Fioravanti slams World Surf League’s much vaunted collaboration with Apple live on air, “I just wanna say our fricken watches weren’t working and that’s pretty heavy!”

"I hope they figure it out!"

By Derek Rielly

  • Comments
    0

Big-wave surf star famous for his wild Mavericks sessions sues State following allegations he was tasered in the guts by rangers for having an unleashed dog, “He quickly fell to the ground due to the electrical charge sent through his body!”

Getting tasered creates the sensation of having your brain shaken "like a peanut in a jar" and with "bees crawling through your skin."

By Derek Rielly

  • Comments
    0

Hawaiian surf prodigy almost killed at Pipeline hints he may never return to famous reef, “Is Pipeline worth it, idk. Will I ever paddle back out there, I have no idea”

"I no longer have any goals when it comes to surfing my only goal is to get my mind and health back to 100%…"

By Derek Rielly

  • Comments
    0

Open Thread: Comment Live, Day One of the Billabong Pro Pipeline where unauthorized cinnamon is officially on the table!

It's go time!

By Chas Smith

  • Comments
    0

After six months of reflection, surf champion Stephanie Gilmore admits WSL Final’s Day format is a stupid idea birthed by imbeciles: “Surfing is about being able to compete in all different kinds of waves and being successful all through the year!”

Giving hell.

By Chas Smith

  • Comments
    0

Pre-Billabong Pipeline Pro Women’s Power Rankings, “Frontside, Steph Gilmore has no problem at all getting barreled, and beautifully. Going left, well, who needs to go left anyway!”

"Tati West's surfing at Pipe confounds me. I imagined that she would be good at surfing steep reefs. But somehow, she is not. At last year’s Pipe comp, she mostly went straight."

By Jen See

  • Comments
    0
Featured Image

From the archives:Sweeping changes proposed for world surfing tour in desperate bid to mitigate Filipe-at-Lowers problem, “A legitimate world champion can’t be crowned in waves of zero consequences!”

San Clemente

Bali

Gold Coast

Sign-Up for Daily Newsletter!

So many laughs! No serious!

  • This field is for validation purposes and should be left unchanged.

FOLLOW US!

Most Read

  • 24 Hours
  • 7 days
  • All-Time
  • US doctor responds to insane fury after solo-surfing Jeffreys Bay during Coronavirus lockdown: “I hate that I provoked such anger!”

    Jeffreys Bay, South Africa: It was tough enough for the hardened surfers to stand down…

    By Craig Jarvis

    • Comments
      0
  • Iron Fist: Manhattan Beach surfer cops $1,000 fine for “disrespecting a lifeguard” during “Reign of Coronavirus Terror!”

    As a child, I often dreamed about being on the wrong side of the law…

    By Chas Smith

    • Comments
      0
  • Photographer captures up-close image of Great White shark’s “sinister sneer” thereby proving apex-predators’ penchant for “sadism and evil!”

    Of all the things to be scared of in today’s world, pandemic disease, economic collapse,…

    By Chas Smith

    • Comments
      0

Hot Cinema

  • Newest
  • 24 hours
  • All-Time
  • Fashion model Koa Smith releases harrowing POV footage of surviving “sixty-foot waves” at secret outer reef, “I’m so grateful and psyched, I thought I was about to die!”

    In this just-released edit, we are gifted ring seats to the three-time NSSA champ, runner-up…

    By Derek Rielly

    • Comments
      0
  • World’s sexiest over-fifty Laird Hamilton reveals the fat-soaked diet, and home gymnasium, that keep him wildly fit as he enters his harvest years, “The doctor was covered in my blood, all over his mask. I could feel him yanking on me!”

    Earlier today, I watched a video of a a well-proportioned almost sixty-year-old man, a superhuman…

    By Derek Rielly

    • Comments
      0
  • Hawaiian heartthrob and scion of North Shore strongman Koa Rothman reveals myriads secrets, including an exploding rubber suit, he uses to survive “fifty-foot Waimea Bay!”

    It is always difficult to turn the head away from Koa Rothman, the youngest son…

    By Derek Rielly

    • Comments
      0
  • Witness: The Great White “was going like a rocket straight at us. I can see it so clearly, its mouth was open. I lifted my feet, grabbed the board…”

    Once upon a time, before the ubiquitous robot we cradle in our hands and stare…

    By Derek Rielly

    • Comments
      0
  • Watch: Jackie Dorian, Badger Daddy and Pals in “Pretty People Oughta Hitch Up with Pretty People!”

    This relatively long-form cut of the child prodigy Jackson Dorian, who enjoyed his thirteenth birthday…

    By Derek Rielly

    • Comments
      0
  • Watch: Big Daddy Ho and chillun in “Hush up your blasphemin’, Lucifer, and let me loose!”

    Yeah, I know, y’seen plenty of Mason and Coco and Daddy Ho zipping through traffic on…

    By Derek Rielly

    • Comments
      0

Find Us

  • Contact Us
  • Meet the Writers
  • Advertising
  • Our Manifesto

Crash the party!

  • Facebook
  • Instagram
  • Twitter

Eat beach grit spam!

It's Daily!
  • This field is for validation purposes and should be left unchanged.

BeachGrit bg-logo

© 2023 BeachGrit All Rights Reserved

  • Terms of Use
  • Privacy Policy
  • News
  • Podcasts
  • Videos
  • Shop
  • Concierge

Eat beach grit spam!

  • This field is for validation purposes and should be left unchanged.