Peak North Shore: Troublingly overweight Ashton Goggans tells Yago Dora: “There were a few of those bottom turns where you were looking like Gerry Lopez!”
Mr. Plate Lunch.
Watch: “Surfers are frequently, secretly fond of each other!”
There's many a strange impulse to be found behind-the-scenes at the 2019 Pipeline Masters…
Watch: Hawaii’s leading news source declares “Billy Kemper is not afraid of anything” after Big Wave World Tour champ’s latest Jaws performance!
If you were literally fearless, what is the first thing you'd do?
Apocalypse Now: In “historic first” cookiecutter shark, featuring mouth “like toilet plunger with a blade in it,” attacks three swimmers in Hawaii!
Is this the end?
Gabriel Medina film trailer: “The man who has ruthlessness in his bones and ice in his heart!”
"Medina is as good a villain as he is a rider of waves and the sport is infinitely better for his presence."
Listen: “I want, more than anything, to see a singing, dancing, fabulous Eddie Rothman, John John Florence, Graham Stapelberg!”
Gleeful defiance. Feral wit.
Celebrate: Florida outclasses Australia, Reunion, South Africa and entire world combined for most unprovoked shark attacks in 2019!
The sunshine state!
Extreme weather: Melbourne wave pool closed for second consecutive day due to freak “mud rain”!
"Since the wild dust storm rained mud on us last night, our dedicated crew of facilities technicians, divers, robotic vacuum cleaners, sweepers and even lifeguards have been scrubbing non-stop…"
Longtom on Album Surf Disasym: “For me, stiff, slow, lacking ability, I had a lot of brilliant, really fun moments!”
But, "If surf-time and go outs are at a premium then experimenting with asymmetricals is likely a poor return on investment."
Virulently “anti-surfer” Hillary Clinton releases new four part documentary; Tees off on Bernie Sanders and his “bros!”
"They can do it to anybody."
Revealed: Surfers account for vast majority of world’s unprovoked shark attacks, attracting the apex predators by “splashing” and “wiping out!”
We're number 1!
Italo Ferreira: “The Olympics is something gigantic for surfing seeing as just a few years ago it was seen as a sport for bums!”
I'll pack my bags, I guess.
