BeachGrit | Ultra Hard Surf Candy

Listen: Brazil’s first legitimate title contender Neco Padaratz on John John Florence’s $1500-a-month personal board-waxer, pro surfing conspiracies and the debilitating voodoo curse that forced him off tour!

"He did claims you could see from the next county. Adriano De Souza at his arm-flailing peak was an aging Carmelite nun compared to Neco…"
by Derek Rielly
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Esperance surfers describe terrifying encounter with Great White only weeks after monster Great White took well-known local surfer almost whole: “It was serious, it was really close!”

"I've never seen Mum like that before. She was just trembling on the beach."
by Derek Rielly
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Suburban Sydney locals erupt in rage, despondency, as beloved surf club gets modern facelift: “They turned it into a microwave and I reckon I’ll die miserable now…”

Up in arms.
by Chas Smith
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Rip Curl Founder Brian Singer revealed as mystery buyer of $22 million Byron Bay house; outbids Hollywood heartthrobs Matt Damon and Zac Efron and “dethrones” Chris Hemsworth’s compound as most expensive joint in town!

Byron Bay, a land of unfettered surf dreams and where “murfers” squabble over who has the best Blanc Marble countertops in their pretty haven of narcissism and clandestine infighting.
by Derek Rielly
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Listen: Brazil’s first legitimate title contender Neco Padaratz on John John Florence’s $1500-a-month personal board-waxer, pro surfing conspiracies and the debilitating voodoo curse that forced him off tour!

"He did claims you could see from the next county. Adriano De Souza at his arm-flailing peak was an aging Carmelite nun compared to Neco…"

Esperance surfers describe terrifying encounter with Great White only weeks after monster Great White took well-known local surfer almost whole: “It was serious, it was really close!”

"I've never seen Mum like that before. She was just trembling on the beach."

Suburban Sydney locals erupt in rage, despondency, as beloved surf club gets modern facelift: “They turned it into a microwave and I reckon I’ll die miserable now…”

Up in arms.

Rip Curl Founder Brian Singer revealed as mystery buyer of $22 million Byron Bay house; outbids Hollywood heartthrobs Matt Damon and Zac Efron and “dethrones” Chris Hemsworth’s compound as most expensive joint in town!

Byron Bay, a land of unfettered surf dreams and where “murfers” squabble over who has the best Blanc Marble countertops in their pretty haven of narcissism and clandestine infighting.

Kelly Slater’s Surf Ranch sets off explosion of cowboy-beach themed restaurants and bars: “The world’s greatest surfer is, without a doubt, a design visionary far, far ahead of his time!”

World's collide.

Just in: Give the gift of modern radical Islamic terrorism to friends and family this holiday season!

Nothing says "I love you" like jihad.

Bareback Irish Swimmers employ surfer-style intimidation in brutal clash with “Dry Robe” wearing VALS!

The Vulnerable Adult Learner Swimmer!

Gimme: Developer to sell massive parcel of land with mothballed resort overlooking iconic surf break Snapper Rocks!

Thirty-five mill plus if you got the cheese…

Cute n cuddly sea otter caught trying to eat face off shark: “It was as if hell had opened up and spat forth a creature even more wicked than anything Tolkien could imagine!”

Happy Thanksgiving!

Re-open for trading: Join BeachGrit’s winner-take-all Surfival League! One thousand-dollar cash prize!

Easy to play, limited numbers, a thousand bucks to the champ…

Revealed: Western Australian Police used Glock 22 semi-automatic pistols to fire twenty-five bullets at twelve-foot shark that killed bodyboarder in “very unusual” shallow water attack!

And scientist predicts a spate of attacks by bull sharks caused by a rainy La Niña effect…

Angry Redditors create encrypted chat room to share explicit content bought from world #25 surfer-turned-porn-star Ellie-Jean Coffey: “Wow! A jackpot! It’s actually happening!”

A socialist experiment where capital is pooled and the harvest shared.

From the archives:Listen: Surfing hall-of-famer Barton Lynch talks anarchy, his brutal rivalry and friendship with Martin Potter and the hostility of the pro tour: “It wasn’t a loving organism at all. I was drowning, I was dying in there!”

Listen: Surfing superhero Mark Occhilupo on quitting the booze, being a daddy to nine kids and his beginnings as a “little cross-dressing Italian Scotsman from Kurnell!”

Listen: Brazil’s first legitimate title contender Neco Padaratz on John John Florence’s $1500-a-month personal board-waxer, pro surfing conspiracies and the debilitating voodoo curse that forced him off tour!

Esperance surfers describe terrifying encounter with Great White only weeks after monster Great White took well-known local surfer almost whole: “It was serious, it was really close!”

Suburban Sydney locals erupt in rage, despondency, as beloved surf club gets modern facelift: “They turned it into a microwave and I reckon I’ll die miserable now…”

Rip Curl Founder Brian Singer revealed as mystery buyer of $22 million Byron Bay house; outbids Hollywood heartthrobs Matt Damon and Zac Efron and “dethrones” Chris Hemsworth’s compound as most expensive joint in town!

Listen: Brazil’s first legitimate title contender Neco Padaratz on John John Florence’s $1500-a-month personal board-waxer, pro surfing conspiracies and the debilitating voodoo curse that forced him off tour!

Esperance surfers describe terrifying encounter with Great White only weeks after monster Great White took well-known local surfer almost whole: “It was serious, it was really close!”

Suburban Sydney locals erupt in rage, despondency, as beloved surf club gets modern facelift: “They turned it into a microwave and I reckon I’ll die miserable now…”

Rip Curl Founder Brian Singer revealed as mystery buyer of $22 million Byron Bay house; outbids Hollywood heartthrobs Matt Damon and Zac Efron and “dethrones” Chris Hemsworth’s compound as most expensive joint in town!

Kelly Slater’s Surf Ranch sets off explosion of cowboy-beach themed restaurants and bars: “The world’s greatest surfer is, without a doubt, a design visionary far, far ahead of his time!”

Just in: Give the gift of modern radical Islamic terrorism to friends and family this holiday season!

Bareback Irish Swimmers employ surfer-style intimidation in brutal clash with “Dry Robe” wearing VALS!

Gimme: Developer to sell massive parcel of land with mothballed resort overlooking iconic surf break Snapper Rocks!

Cute n cuddly sea otter caught trying to eat face off shark: “It was as if hell had opened up and spat forth a creature even more wicked than anything Tolkien could imagine!”

Re-open for trading: Join BeachGrit’s winner-take-all Surfival League! One thousand-dollar cash prize!

Revealed: Western Australian Police used Glock 22 semi-automatic pistols to fire twenty-five bullets at twelve-foot shark that killed bodyboarder in “very unusual” shallow water attack!

Angry Redditors create encrypted chat room to share explicit content bought from world #25 surfer-turned-porn-star Ellie-Jean Coffey: “Wow! A jackpot! It’s actually happening!”

From the archives:Listen: Surfing hall-of-famer Barton Lynch talks anarchy, his brutal rivalry and friendship with Martin Potter and the hostility of the pro tour: “It wasn’t a loving organism at all. I was drowning, I was dying in there!”

Polish SCUBA enthusiasts, inspired by Kelly Slater’s Surf Ranch, build world’s deepest artificial dive tank near Warsaw: “Some sections simulate caves and others have a sunken boat!”

Western Australian Bodyboarder killed in “very unusual” shallow water attack” by twelve-foot shark; police fire shots, fail to disperse shark which lingered near shore for thirty-minutes…

Horror footage: Florida Man Wrestles Cavalier King Charles Spaniel Puppy From Jaws of Killer Alligator; says prying open its jaws was “extremely hard!”

Surfline Man Goes Surfing (Part Two): “Here he is! At the world’s greatest point break! Except a few others he can’t remember, but they’re all so far away, like South Africa or something!”

Polish SCUBA enthusiasts, inspired by Kelly Slater’s Surf Ranch, build world’s deepest artificial dive tank near Warsaw: “Some sections simulate caves and others have a sunken boat!”

Celebrate: New Zealand’s “Surfing for Farmers” program, the most anti-depressive initiative of the year, wins prestigious award for excellence!

US doctor responds to insane fury after solo-surfing Jeffreys Bay during Coronavirus lockdown: “I hate that I provoked such anger!”

Iron Fist: Manhattan Beach surfer cops $1,000 fine for “disrespecting a lifeguard” during “Reign of Coronavirus Terror!”

Photographer captures up-close image of Great White shark’s “sinister sneer” thereby proving apex-predators’ penchant for “sadism and evil!”

Oy Vey: Watch Israeli Olympian Eithan Osborne (with cameo from goyim Dane Reynolds) in “The happiest Jew in Ventura!”

Scandinavian Miracle: Swedish lake surfing, “I think it will be crowded today which will be super fun!”

Watch: Go-for-broke surfer Dane Reynolds in “I am the happiness of this world!”

Kelly Slater on John John Florence: “Inevitably, between he and I, there’s a level of ‘uncomfortability’”

Surfing’s thriller moment: Flashy son of former world number two stars in “Enough virginity, hypocrisy, censorship, restrictions. Pleasure is preferred to sorrow!”

Watch: Go-for-broke surfer Dane Reynolds in “I am the happiness of this world!”

Witness: The Great White “was going like a rocket straight at us. I can see it so clearly, its mouth was open. I lifted my feet, grabbed the board…”

Watch: Jackie Dorian, Badger Daddy and Pals in “Pretty People Oughta Hitch Up with Pretty People!”

Watch: Big Daddy Ho and chillun in “Hush up your blasphemin’, Lucifer, and let me loose!”

Listen: Surfing superhero Mark Occhilupo on quitting the booze, being a daddy to nine kids and his beginnings as a “little cross-dressing Italian Scotsman from Kurnell!”

Listen: Brazil’s first legitimate title contender Neco Padaratz on John John Florence’s $1500-a-month personal board-waxer, pro surfing conspiracies and the debilitating voodoo curse that forced him off tour!

Esperance surfers describe terrifying encounter with Great White only weeks after monster Great White took well-known local surfer almost whole: “It was serious, it was really close!”

Suburban Sydney locals erupt in rage, despondency, as beloved surf club gets modern facelift: “They turned it into a microwave and I reckon I’ll die miserable now…”

Rip Curl Founder Brian Singer revealed as mystery buyer of $22 million Byron Bay house; outbids Hollywood heartthrobs Matt Damon and Zac Efron and “dethrones” Chris Hemsworth’s compound as most expensive joint in town!

From the archives:Listen: Surfing hall-of-famer Barton Lynch talks anarchy, his brutal rivalry and friendship with Martin Potter and the hostility of the pro tour: “It wasn’t a loving organism at all. I was drowning, I was dying in there!”

Eat beach grit spam!