The greatest shark story ever told, starring surfing's original wonder boy…
Once upon a time, before the ubiquitous robot we cradle in our hands and stare at, head down, lips pursed as if studying the Dead Sea Scrolls while we cross roads and walk into doors, there was such a thing as The Story.
No video, no photos.
Only words, memories, emotion.
In this interview, Wayne Lynch, the Victorian surfer who made his name by hunting lonely deep-water reefs, recalls the day he and another surfer were stalked by a Great White shark.
A shark, says Wayne, that first appeared like a submarine, silently coming out of the water head first and staring at him with its big black eyes.
Wayne said nothing to the guy, who had lost his own gun in a wipeout and who was clinging to the back of his board.
Two men on a red seven-six swallow-tail, and only one of ’em knows a Great White is slowly circling ’em.
“Every now and again, I can see the shark eight or nine feet away, swimming super slow, barely moving faster than us but in a circle. I’m looking down thinking, this is not good, this is really interesting.”
Wayne laughs.
“I figured it was more interested in John (the surfer he was rescuing) because he was tired. That’s why I put him at the back of the board. I figure, well, I’ll save you but I won’t die for you.”
Oh, Wayne puts you right there.
And, wait for the kicker at the end.
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Vicco shark stories coming into the bells leg are like death and taxes
delete Wayne…add Eugene…
Damn! I was hypnotized by listening to that story.
A friend recently opined what the effect would be if someone was eaten during a busy Rincon weekend morning in the cove. Maybe it was Mondos, that kind of grotesque humor makes more sense. How would the general public react?
Would Mondo’s clear of the Wavestorm plague? Would Ryan Lovelace lose so many of his devotee’s should the cove become the killing cove? We know the double twelve ounce glass resin tint pieces of shit would survive, but would the VAL’s attempting to ride them?
Surely the shark would not bite Bobby.
We tossed the idea back and forth, how no attacks have ever occurred in broad daylight in high visibility places. The thought occurred, it is more likely that a surf rage incident would incubate into a lone gunman on the shore machine gunning the entire first point Malibu on a chest high day. Now that could happen.
Why do these fucked up christian republican shooters always target innocent school children when they could do such societal philanthropy by emptying any of our coves of the VAL pandemic?
Of course that was his thought, I being a hippy chastised him for such negativity as all men/women are created equal under your god. Not mine, He was a local of the highest order at an undisclosed location and would only allow his only son to be murdered so that self righteous people of the future could be prejudiced against other humans.
Thats some Roland Freisler courtroom style judgment shit right there.
Nazi Judge? I’m promoting world peace, one point break cove at a time.
“fucked up christian republican shooters”
Freisler would say such broadly casted condemnation like that. Look at the criminal code Freisler drafted and codified regarding murder. No element of taking life. Rather defendants were charged because they were Christian, Republicans and owned guns. The law was such that evidence didn’t have to be presented that a life was ended. Rather, it was their religious beliefs and lawful ownership of weapons, and their political views which resulted in a guilty verdict.
I believe in God. A Mason. Conservative/Republican and own guns. Like Freisler, you would consider me guilty of being someone who’d be a shooter that targets innocent kids, regardless of whether I’ve taken a life. You place the charge of belief before the actual killing. Because ii have different beliefs than you.
So yes. Just like Roland Freisler.
Projection amigo. I despise hypocrisy which puts me into direct conflict with pious republican christians. The fact that gun advocacy rides along with ideologues reinterpretation of “conservatism” and cherry picking theological affirmation requires reflection about how both mediums became bastardized to support the very ideals opposite of both disciplines is a case study in sociopathy.
Case in point, you can’t protect a fetus as a virtue, but ignore the human once born. You either value life or you don’t.
The other case that shooters tend to be male, white, “conservative” and are protected by the NRA (male, white conservative) and their paid stooges also requires reflection.
I can disagree with you all day without resorting to calling you a nazi.
Fair enough. Im sure we could debate this till we’re blue in the face. I don’t like being called a nazi either. But I’ve been called one for supporting Trump. Nice to meet a progressive that doesn’t follow such trend.
I truly attribute my escape from the mindless jaws of death to a half bottle of tequila consumed th night before.
That shark was a puss. Wayne challenged him twice and both times it didn’t attack. Wayne: 2
Shark: 0
#winningwayne
Now let’s read a snippet from the Shark Gazette:
“I wish my friends had been there to see it. I was real worried for this bloke, don’t know his name, let’s name him “John”. Yeah, so anyways, he looked pretty damn tired. Reckon anyone would sharing a goddamn 7’6″ with some other chap. I’m thinking “what the serious fuck is going on here? Two guys, one board. I shit you not. Maybe they’re retarded or so stupid that it’s like they’re retarded but not, but you couldn’t tell. You know? The fucking difference. Anywho, so I’m real concerned thinking these fucks are in trouble. So I stuck around ya know. Make sure they got to shore alright. What else was I gonna do? Offer them a ride? Fuck that! So yeah, I thought they reached the beach, but Noooooo! Fucking cunts just lingered 30-40 feet from the sand, waiting for what I don’t fucking know! Got the sick feeling in me gut ya know. Like when you know something bad is about to happen, but you’re thinking I can’t change fate. Not for these two fucks anyways. Still, I hurried back towards them and was praying and praying ya know. Like don’t fucking die dumbasses! You’re so close to the beach. I got super close to them. Like watching a train wreck, how you just can’t look away! I mean fuck me! It was intense. I closed my fucking eyes. Didn’t want to see it. I admit it, I turned and swam off cause I was really all fucking emotional and shit about it all. Then like a blind squirrel finding a nut, they found themselves on the beach. And here’s the kicker! One of the stupid paddled back out! I shit you not. I left. Went to the next beach about a km away. Fuck me man! Wish I had my Go Pro!”
Is this really the target demographic of BeachGrit? Boomer SKI’s?
Omg grubs came :/ get rid of grubs mods TTVOMJ
Dad shark teaching son to hunt.
You see those humans over there son…”
“Yes Dad, shall we attack them by surprise?”
“No son, first we circle round them for about ten minutes…”
“But dad… why? I’m hungry!”
“Well son, they taste better without any shit in them…”
Self saucing
I was once circled by a 6 inch turd in the lineup. Fucking tourists from Ohio. Shit on the beach like the rest of us do.
UR a freaking moron uncooth jig
uncouth
looks like one got reeled in. Fishing hasn’t been nearly as good as it was in the summer.
Lot of dogfish in the Irish sea
An Irish nurse shark told me this one:
A swordfish informed the dogfish that his breath was worse than his
bite. To which the hammerhead remarked that he really had a point there.
The sawfish chimed in that the hammerhead really nailed it. Wherein
the dogfish accused the sawfish of cutting a big one.
It’s funnier when the nurse shark tells it
Lol
One of those in Margs, too.
Beach Grit – The Worlds biggest Shark Story aggregator !
A repository of gore and fear.
Like dragon stories from days of yore.
Al Gore invented Shark Story aggregation.
That truly may be his only real contribution to IT.
Didn’t he play the role of that clown in Stephen King’s IT?
is this your new book?
Aumakuas are real.
Quite the story!
And told so elegantly.
Yeh didn’t he China! Susie slang for China plate……mate!
Aussie… . who’s Susie….an AI interloper