Just in: Give the gift of modern radical Islamic terrorism to friends and family this holiday season!
Nothing says "I love you" like jihad.
Listen: Superstar surf journalist Sean Doherty on his counterintuitive lunge into print, the WSL’s tenuous grip on pro surfing and the enduring legacy of Truman Capote: “I am a drunkard, I am a dope addict, I am a homosexual, I am a genius!”
And, writing drunk, giving hell to foreign oil interests etc…
Listen: Surfing superhero Mark Occhilupo on quitting the booze, being a daddy to nine kids and his beginnings as a “little cross-dressing Italian Scotsman from Kurnell!”
And being slapped by Hawaiian lifeguard and having rail bitten by famous big-wave surfer…
Listen: “In these times of tense uncertainty the only appropriate thing to do is double down on rabid partisanship. Which surf brand has had the best logo of all time?”
I'm right. Screw you.
Listen: Former world #2 surfer Ian Cairns on cheating Democrats, Edward Snowden being fixed on the “Russian teat” and strangling a Hawaiian surf star on a ten-foot wave: “You have to be a gnarly tough son of a bitch cocksucker to go beyond the point where you think you might die!”
And a blow-by-blow account of contract beatings on the North Shore.
Listen: “Professional surfer Kolohe Andino’s management team makes strategic blunder certain to cost him millions!”
Mistakes were made.
Listen: Surfing hall-of-famer Barton Lynch talks anarchy, his brutal rivalry and friendship with Martin Potter and the hostility of the pro tour: “It wasn’t a loving organism at all. I was drowning, I was dying in there!”
One in a million…
Listen: Big-wave surfer Wayne Cleveland on how to buy, smuggle, cut and wholesale large quantities of Mexican cocaine: “At one stage, I sat down and I had $2.5 million in front of me. It took forever to count.”
"Wayne Cleveland's house is awash with cash."
Listen: BeachGrit reels under recent accusation. “Your audience is made up largely of middle-aged white male nihilists!”
Ja, we believe in nothing.
Listen: “We must fight tooth and nail against expert opinions lest the technocracy bring us all down!”
Surfing.
Listen: Movie director Michael Oblowitz on surf fights, being a celibate bisexual and his yet-to-be-released Sunny Garcia documentary: “I have a very clear view of the last days of Sunny’s life and what happened…”
“Sunny was one of the loveliest people I ever met. And when he wasn’t, I steered clear of him…”
Listen: “Well, you got trouble, my friends, right here in surf city. Trouble with a capital ‘T’ and that rhymes with ‘P’ and that stands for porn!”
A musical on the horizon?
