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Zion Shores (pictured) smashing the proletariat.
Zion Shores (pictured) smashing the proletariat.

Surf-based class warfare explodes as “playground for the rich” Zion Shores breaks ground in Utah

“Most [of] us can’t afford an apartment, but sure let’s build some rich luxury ‘surf community.'"

Life is a tinderbox, these days, not at all a box of chocolates. The light-minded Forrest Gump coined the now-iconic phrase way back in 1994 whilst starring in his eponymous film. A young man from Hope, Arkansas was President of the United States, back then, and anything seemed possible. Waking up each morning would bring a varietal of experiences, each delicious. Well, that was 30 years ago before division, mistrust and volatility becoming the only guarantees at the start of each American day.

But let us bustle to Utah’s southern bit where a surf-based class warfare has exploded in the desert. A new 30-acre development and its 9-acre lagoon are set to open mid-2027 right outside Zion National Park and, thus, appropriately dubbed Zion Shores.

According to SF Gate:

Zion Shores is slated to comprise 65 properties: 22 townhomes and 43 single-family waterfront houses. The latter will face a vast, concrete-lined lagoon with tapered shores, according to plans, allowing those living on the artificial beach to step directly into the chlorinated waters. At the top of the lagoon will be two wavemakers where residents can hone their surfing skills. A separate, third wave pool is planned at the edge of the community, complete with a boardwalk, cabanas and umbrellas dotting the shore. Restaurants, retail space and a clubhouse skirt the property in the plans.

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Dreamy, no? And the $1.5 million starting cost seems entirely reasonable but not, apparently, for poor locals. Further reporting shares locals have been made furious by this “playground for the rich,” one declaring, “Most [of] us can’t afford an apartment, but sure let’s build some rich luxury ‘surf community.’ I’m sure I’ll be doing work out there on this development but I’ll still not be able to afford f—king rent in this town.”

Zion Shores parent company Desert Lakes CEO Cody Larkin was incensed by accusations of pandering to the rich. “Our aim is not to displace local residents,” he boldly declared, “but to enhance economic opportunity through responsible development. The revenue generated — from lodging, tourism, and associated spending — will directly support the local economy, including restaurants, shops, and public services. In doing so, we believe Zion Shores helps offset some of the broader pressures associated with growth by creating jobs and long-term infrastructure investment in Washington County.”

Still thinking about that low, low $1.5 million buy in? Don’t delay. Kick the poor locals while they’re down.

David Lee Scales and I did not discuss any form of pool surfing, or pool surfing developments, during our weekly chat but did spend some time dissecting Crosby Colapinto’s spelling. Surrendur to the experience. Come be preseant with us.

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Reece spoon

Do these guys like larkin all have the same spin doc writing their crap of supporting the local communitys bla bla while ripping the joint off ?

Person

Why are you calling it a lagoon? It’s absolutely not that. It’s a giant wave pool. The main problem with this idea is our lack of water. In no way can our water supply support this egregious use of water.

P D

Boo-hoo… they’re building a beautiful place that I can’t afford to live in! Why aren’t they building an apartment complex just for me that I can afford? It’s not fair, they are accommodated because they have money, but I don’t have any!! True mindset of the liberal. I’m not going to take the proper steps in my early life to be successful or work as hard as possible, then I’m going to complain about it later and pretend I deserve something I never earned.

Reece spoon

Dont u get it yet..hard work dont cut it anymore, tried buying a house on average workers wages lately stupid or even fkn renting unless its with help from the bank of mom and dad…

CCD

You guys complaining? Just be glad it’s not an attempt at an American mini caliphate like in Texas.
If you can’t afford it, the best thing you can do is give a blessing to those who can. They’re doing it for you since you can’t.

skbn113

No big deal. That simply means it’s not meant for you. Some places are meant for low income other places are built for the uber rich.

You’ll have to face reality someday.

Shredy Kruger

Holding out for the Gaza buy in. Gonna be way cheaper, better climate and closer to Zion….

SaltyHB

Cuz that area has plenty of water for a project like that.

https://utahnewsdispatch.com/2025/05/23/drought-in-utah-water-conditions/

Keith Grace

Looks like the folks in Utah met with the folks at the Jersey Shore for a “How to Drive Out Long Time Locals to Build Multimillionaire Play Grounds”… this is already my home county…

Person

A lot of the locals in Sprindale left long ago. Tourism towns produce lay-paying jobs. A lot of retirees from out of state have moved in. A lot of the homes in this area already cost that much.
This housing developement is a bad idea for many reasons.

snapper

“Public welcome! Come play, surf and dine after all sessions. Serving all with no alcohol.”

channelbottom

Don’t forget to put on your magic underwear!

Picard Madeoff

Does Quicksilver make that underwear for surfing?

Person

No need to be a bigot

snapper

“Public invited! Come experience our wonderful waterpark and restaurants. Play, surf and dine with no alcohol after session.”

channelbottom

Yay! Artificial Closeouts for everyone! https://uploads.disquscdn.c…

deeks

https://uploads.disquscdn.c…
Could be worse

Happy Camper

I don”t think the fictional character Forrest Gump ever starred in a film, but I’ll reach the film starring Tom Hanks.

MaxNeoprene

Radioactive dust barrels! Code red !

Happy Camper

one of the greatest scenes…ever

Sean Connery

Wait for the shake…lmao.

Capt Sensible

Zion shores is where the jew war criminals will flee into exile.

Rocks local

Back when Clinton was still in his ‘cigars are for smoking’ era

Picard Madeoff

BUT what are Gap dresses for in Bill’s world?

Dogsnuts

You are literally the biggest cunt ever haha.
Xox

Mapski

A round of 805 Zeroes await you after every session.

Ramathorn

Can’t go shrimping in that chlorinated water. Times have changed

Dogsnuts

“Chlorinated Schhhhramp……”
Xox


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