Heartthrob songbird Ricky Martin forms masculine counterpart to chanteuse Shakira as surf darlings able to heal discordant times: “#surfing #surfingislife!”
We are the luckiest enthusiasts in the world.
Teenage girl stuns world by making final of prestigious pro surfing event, beating cavalcade of top-rated men, “You could hear the cheering all the way up into the judge’s stand on top of the 200-foot limestone cliff!”
Malibu realtor dubbed “angriest man in surfing” who lost his job and was hit with death threats following board-smashing incident reveals the positive side of anti-fame, “People say it ended his career, it’s like, no, shit is taking off! I may not have to sling houses at all!”
"It’s pretty amazing how stuff goes like this…I’ve become sort famous I guess.”
Surfer feared dead after “catastrophic” heart attack at Melbourne wavepool wakes from coma, makes miraculous recovery, “What they (lifeguards) did essentially saved my life!”
“I’ve been through the wringer,” says Pritchard, opening his shirt to reveal a wild crucifix shaped scar, “but here I am.”
Well-known Malibu local loses job after surf incident posted to social media is seized upon by righteous mob: “This is a ‘man’ who has run for City of Malibu Council, intimidating a young person and aggressively damaging their property in full view of the public.”
"YOU DON'T OWN SURFING!"
Eagle-eyed oceanographic cartographer discovers universally beloved surf champion John John Florence never intended to sail to Tahiti for upcoming contest leaving surf fans jilted and woebegone!
It's hard out there.
In aftermath of US Open, professional surfers forced to deal with uncomfortable reality that dogs riding soft-tops are far, far more popular than them!
Sad.
Already-fagged surf fans suffer extreme bouts of lethargy as World Surf League reaches peak milquetoast, fills John John Florence vacant Tahiti Pro spot with uninspiring Michel Bourez pick!
"May our voices whisper to you from the ageless stones, Go tell the Spartans, passerby: That here by Spartan law, we lie.”
Californian superstar Kolohe Andino revealed as architect of recently euthanised Surf Ranch tour event, “I personally did not push for the technology to be on tour,” says Slater.
“Every time this thing runs, it’s better than ninety percent of waves ever are when we’re there!”
Elated surf fans lose collective mind as “The Ultimate Surfer” Zeke Lau curb stomps competition, wins US Open of Surfing thereby etching name alongside Kelly Slater, Brett Simpson in annals of Huntington Beach history!
Historic!
Open Thread: Comment Live on the Outerknown Tahiti Pro specialty trials event as local hopefuls dream Championship Tour dreams!
Place of Broken Skulls!
Surf fans, moving through stages of grief, wonder if Bobby Martinez might receive wildcard for Tahiti Pro in off chance John John Florence fails to arrive on time!
Silver linings.
Panicked surf fans flip desperately through navigation books, petition patron saint of sailing as John John Florence, currently in damaged boat at sea, remains on Tahiti Pro heat draw!
All fingers crossed.
