Surf King Laird Hamilton makes wildly unanticipated contribution to smash Afro-futurist hit Black Panther sequel Wakanda Forever!

BIPOC surfing role model Mason Ho stuns world with first-ever backwards-inside-the-tube flash footage, “A lesson in how to tell a story with minimum frills and maximum impact!”

A terrifying spectacle!
by Derek Rielly
- 0
Faithless surf fans despondent over much dreamed of rekindling between Kelly Slater and Gisele Bündchen amidst model’s dalliance with dashing jiu-jitsu instructor buoyed by expert claim: “It rarely ends well when guys bring their girls to training!”

Oh ye....
by Chas Smith
- 0
After shock loss in race for Honolulu City Council, Makua Rothman’s political ambitions jumped back to life as state senator hires big wave surfer to team!

To the White House!
by Chas Smith
- 0
Santa Barbara father of three described as “surfing’s rampart against the milquetoast horror of the WSL’s pandering bulls**t” dumbfounds fans with wildly experimental new film, “It’s super weird but really fun!”

High-gloss entertainment from the master puppeteer!
by Derek Rielly
- 0

Faithless surf fans despondent over much dreamed of rekindling between Kelly Slater and Gisele Bündchen amidst model’s dalliance with dashing jiu-jitsu instructor buoyed by expert claim: “It rarely ends well when guys bring their girls to training!”

Oh ye....

After shock loss in race for Honolulu City Council, Makua Rothman’s political ambitions jumped back to life as state senator hires big wave surfer to team!

To the White House!

Santa Barbara father of three described as “surfing’s rampart against the milquetoast horror of the WSL’s pandering bulls**t” dumbfounds fans with wildly experimental new film, “It’s super weird but really fun!”

High-gloss entertainment from the master puppeteer!

Open Thread: Comment Live, Day One of the Haleiwa Challenger as professional surfing hopefuls look to slit each others’ throats and spray hungry fans with blood!

Surfing is BACK!

The world’s most beloved philanthropist and Walmart slayer Yvon Chouinard goes after The Gap, accusing the controversial brand of “illegally copying Patagonia’s iconic snapped flap pocket!”

A battle of the ugly!

Once-great mixed martial artist Conor McGregor launches devastating fusillade at noted surf personality interviewer Joe Rogan: “Call the cops. F*cking tick, you!”

Heavy.

Traditionally timid surf-adjacent website The Inertia wades directly into controversial culture war ahead of Black Friday, releases exhaustive review of “pregnancy pants for men!”

Birthing people.

Bicurious surf fans dabbling in World Cup Soccer heartbroken to see Gabriel Medina’s “wildly close” pal Neymar Jr. go down with twisted ankle in first game!

Blackest Friday.

“Woody Harrelson lookalike” surf icon who was hospitalised following horror wipeout shocks fans with updated prognosis, “It’s worse than previously thought. A lot worse!”

“I’m here, I’m still breathing, I’m walking, I’m talking…”

Rumour: Authentic Brands Group pulls out of Billabong-Quiksilver-RVCA sale as owner of Hurley moves in to create “the greatest assemblage of surf brands the world has ever seen!”

Authenticity!

Tributes pour in for surfing superstar Tyler Wright and new wife Lilli, married after lightning twelve-month courtship, “Stunning and Beautiful. Two gorgeous souls connected for eternity”

Surfing’s first LGBTIQA+ wedding!

World Surf League Head of Competition shatters patented Wall of Positive Noise, declares seven surfers on bubble for re-qualification including Ultimate Surfer Zeke Lau have had some “good results and some not so good results” this year!

A new nasty WSL.

From the archives:Rumor: Industry insider declares World Surf League self-funded popular Make or Break show; “It’s like hiring a model to take to your reunion. Looks like you scored a hottie but it’s just bringing a working girl to the dance!”

Surf King Laird Hamilton makes wildly unanticipated contribution to smash Afro-futurist hit Black Panther sequel Wakanda Forever!

BIPOC surfing role model Mason Ho stuns world with first-ever backwards-inside-the-tube flash footage, “A lesson in how to tell a story with minimum frills and maximum impact!”

Faithless surf fans despondent over much dreamed of rekindling between Kelly Slater and Gisele Bündchen amidst model’s dalliance with dashing jiu-jitsu instructor buoyed by expert claim: “It rarely ends well when guys bring their girls to training!”

After shock loss in race for Honolulu City Council, Makua Rothman’s political ambitions jumped back to life as state senator hires big wave surfer to team!

Santa Barbara father of three described as “surfing’s rampart against the milquetoast horror of the WSL’s pandering bulls**t” dumbfounds fans with wildly experimental new film, “It’s super weird but really fun!”

Faithless surf fans despondent over much dreamed of rekindling between Kelly Slater and Gisele Bündchen amidst model’s dalliance with dashing jiu-jitsu instructor buoyed by expert claim: “It rarely ends well when guys bring their girls to training!”

After shock loss in race for Honolulu City Council, Makua Rothman’s political ambitions jumped back to life as state senator hires big wave surfer to team!

Santa Barbara father of three described as “surfing’s rampart against the milquetoast horror of the WSL’s pandering bulls**t” dumbfounds fans with wildly experimental new film, “It’s super weird but really fun!”

Open Thread: Comment Live, Day One of the Haleiwa Challenger as professional surfing hopefuls look to slit each others’ throats and spray hungry fans with blood!

The world’s most beloved philanthropist and Walmart slayer Yvon Chouinard goes after The Gap, accusing the controversial brand of “illegally copying Patagonia’s iconic snapped flap pocket!”

Once-great mixed martial artist Conor McGregor launches devastating fusillade at noted surf personality interviewer Joe Rogan: “Call the cops. F*cking tick, you!”

Traditionally timid surf-adjacent website The Inertia wades directly into controversial culture war ahead of Black Friday, releases exhaustive review of “pregnancy pants for men!”

Bicurious surf fans dabbling in World Cup Soccer heartbroken to see Gabriel Medina’s “wildly close” pal Neymar Jr. go down with twisted ankle in first game!

“Woody Harrelson lookalike” surf icon who was hospitalised following horror wipeout shocks fans with updated prognosis, “It’s worse than previously thought. A lot worse!”

Rumour: Authentic Brands Group pulls out of Billabong-Quiksilver-RVCA sale as owner of Hurley moves in to create “the greatest assemblage of surf brands the world has ever seen!”

Tributes pour in for surfing superstar Tyler Wright and new wife Lilli, married after lightning twelve-month courtship, “Stunning and Beautiful. Two gorgeous souls connected for eternity”

World Surf League Head of Competition shatters patented Wall of Positive Noise, declares seven surfers on bubble for re-qualification including Ultimate Surfer Zeke Lau have had some “good results and some not so good results” this year!

From the archives:Rumor: Industry insider declares World Surf League self-funded popular Make or Break show; “It’s like hiring a model to take to your reunion. Looks like you scored a hottie but it’s just bringing a working girl to the dance!”

US doctor responds to insane fury after solo-surfing Jeffreys Bay during Coronavirus lockdown: “I hate that I provoked such anger!”

Iron Fist: Manhattan Beach surfer cops $1,000 fine for “disrespecting a lifeguard” during “Reign of Coronavirus Terror!”

Photographer captures up-close image of Great White shark’s “sinister sneer” thereby proving apex-predators’ penchant for “sadism and evil!”

BIPOC surfing role model Mason Ho stuns world with first-ever backwards-inside-the-tube flash footage, “A lesson in how to tell a story with minimum frills and maximum impact!”

Santa Barbara father of three described as “surfing’s rampart against the milquetoast horror of the WSL’s pandering bulls**t” dumbfounds fans with wildly experimental new film, “It’s super weird but really fun!”

Powerlifter who shucked surf fame for Only Fans riches releases wild POV footage of near-death paddle out through“mutant sea foam” that claimed the lives of five Dutch surfers!

Witness: The Great White “was going like a rocket straight at us. I can see it so clearly, its mouth was open. I lifted my feet, grabbed the board…”

Watch: Jackie Dorian, Badger Daddy and Pals in “Pretty People Oughta Hitch Up with Pretty People!”

Watch: Big Daddy Ho and chillun in “Hush up your blasphemin’, Lucifer, and let me loose!”

Surf King Laird Hamilton makes wildly unanticipated contribution to smash Afro-futurist hit Black Panther sequel Wakanda Forever!

BIPOC surfing role model Mason Ho stuns world with first-ever backwards-inside-the-tube flash footage, “A lesson in how to tell a story with minimum frills and maximum impact!”

Faithless surf fans despondent over much dreamed of rekindling between Kelly Slater and Gisele Bündchen amidst model’s dalliance with dashing jiu-jitsu instructor buoyed by expert claim: “It rarely ends well when guys bring their girls to training!”

After shock loss in race for Honolulu City Council, Makua Rothman’s political ambitions jumped back to life as state senator hires big wave surfer to team!

Santa Barbara father of three described as “surfing’s rampart against the milquetoast horror of the WSL’s pandering bulls**t” dumbfounds fans with wildly experimental new film, “It’s super weird but really fun!”

From the archives:Rumor: Industry insider declares World Surf League self-funded popular Make or Break show; “It’s like hiring a model to take to your reunion. Looks like you scored a hottie but it’s just bringing a working girl to the dance!”

Eat beach grit spam!