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      Fashion model Koa Smith releases harrowing POV footage of surviving “sixty-foot waves” at secret outer reef, “I’m so grateful and psyched, I thought I was about to die!”
      World’s sexiest over-fifty Laird Hamilton reveals the fat-soaked diet, and home gymnasium, that keep him wildly fit as he enters his harvest years, “The doctor was covered in my blood, all over his mask. I could feel him yanking on me!”
      Hawaiian heartthrob and scion of North Shore strongman Koa Rothman reveals myriads secrets, including an exploding rubber suit, he uses to survive “fifty-foot Waimea Bay!”
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Surf world in meltdown as world champs and pivotal industry figures line up to claim a ride by Australian Laura Enever as biggest paddle-in wave by a woman ever, “That’s a new world record WSL!”

  • Inspiration Bethany Hamilton comes out swinging against World Surf League allowing for transgender women to compete at highest level, vows boycott!

    "Have the girls on tour been consulted?"

    by Chas Smith
    • 0
  • Semi-recently deceased surf champion-cum-jewel thief Murf the Surf gets second life with new documentary from award-winning director!

    Hot fuss!

    by Chas Smith
    • 0
  • Florida’s New Smyrna beats out the fearsome Banzai Pipeline to be named “deadliest beach in United States!”

    A shocker.

    by Chas Smith
    • 0
  • LGBTQ+ community cock-a-hoop as World Surf League tentatively opens door for transgender women to compete at highest level despite Kelly Slater arguing for a “trans-only division”!

    But opposition! "Women’s sports is not a backup plan where you can’t win a trophy (and $) in the men’s division."

    by Derek Rielly
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Inspiration Bethany Hamilton comes out swinging against World Surf League allowing for transgender women to compete at highest level, vows boycott!

"Have the girls on tour been consulted?"

By Chas Smith

  • Comments
    0

Semi-recently deceased surf champion-cum-jewel thief Murf the Surf gets second life with new documentary from award-winning director!

Hot fuss!

By Chas Smith

  • Comments
    0

Florida’s New Smyrna beats out the fearsome Banzai Pipeline to be named “deadliest beach in United States!”

A shocker.

By Chas Smith

  • Comments
    0

LGBTQ+ community cock-a-hoop as World Surf League tentatively opens door for transgender women to compete at highest level despite Kelly Slater arguing for a “trans-only division”!

But opposition! "Women’s sports is not a backup plan where you can’t win a trophy (and $) in the men’s division."

By Derek Rielly

  • Comments
    0

Reigning world champion Stephanie Gilmore suffers shock Pipeline defeat, sets up gorgeously to make second consecutive run at mocking professional surfing brass!

Hero to zero.

By Chas Smith

  • Comments
    0

Media watchers astounded, opinion split as surf journalist promoted to “Khan of All Written Word!”

A major step up.

By Chas Smith

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    0

Twenty-four beachfront houses on fabled stretch of Hawaii’s North Shore to be condemned by the state under proposed new law due to “unstoppable reality” of sea-level rises!

"How do we get ourselves out of this fix? Sunset ... we can't lose that beach. It is like losing part of Waikiki Beach."

By Derek Rielly

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Gerry Lopez vomits in his knock-off Birkenstocks as artificial intelligence insists “Mr. Pipeline” to be Australian strongman Ian Cairns then Brazil’s cowardly lion Filipe Toledo!

Also, Quiksilver as "ultra hard surf candy."

By Com Turren

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American icon Pamela Anderson admits to lying about her feelings for surf great Kelly Slater, declares him her “big love, actually!”

Champion in water. Champion on land.

By Chas Smith

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    0

Open Thread: Comment Live, Day Two of the Billabong Pro Pipeline where those who kid themselves about their behavior don’t learn a thing!

By Chas Smith

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Apple shares somehow soar even after high tech giant’s signature watch comes under heavy criticism from surf stars Caio Ibelli and Leonardo Fioravanti!

A corporate juggernaut.

By Chas Smith

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WSL’s wall of positive noise comes crashing down on day one of the Billabong Pro Pipeline amid wild scenes of fat-shaming and sabre rattling, “Apropos of nothing, Shane Dorian started baying for deer blood, indicating he’d shoot anything on sight!”

WSL bingo for the day consisted of various iterations of sand on the reef, bumps on the horizon (which rarely materialised), Apple watches, shaper rankings, and the word “sendy”.

By JP Currie

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From the archives:Sweeping changes proposed for world surfing tour in desperate bid to mitigate Filipe-at-Lowers problem, “A legitimate world champion can’t be crowned in waves of zero consequences!”

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Hot Cinema

  • Newest
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  • Fashion model Koa Smith releases harrowing POV footage of surviving “sixty-foot waves” at secret outer reef, “I’m so grateful and psyched, I thought I was about to die!”

    In this just-released edit, we are gifted ring seats to the three-time NSSA champ, runner-up…

    By Derek Rielly

    • Comments
      0
  • World’s sexiest over-fifty Laird Hamilton reveals the fat-soaked diet, and home gymnasium, that keep him wildly fit as he enters his harvest years, “The doctor was covered in my blood, all over his mask. I could feel him yanking on me!”

    Earlier today, I watched a video of a a well-proportioned almost sixty-year-old man, a superhuman…

    By Derek Rielly

    • Comments
      0
  • Hawaiian heartthrob and scion of North Shore strongman Koa Rothman reveals myriads secrets, including an exploding rubber suit, he uses to survive “fifty-foot Waimea Bay!”

    It is always difficult to turn the head away from Koa Rothman, the youngest son…

    By Derek Rielly

    • Comments
      0
  • Witness: The Great White “was going like a rocket straight at us. I can see it so clearly, its mouth was open. I lifted my feet, grabbed the board…”

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    By Derek Rielly

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  • Watch: Jackie Dorian, Badger Daddy and Pals in “Pretty People Oughta Hitch Up with Pretty People!”

    This relatively long-form cut of the child prodigy Jackson Dorian, who enjoyed his thirteenth birthday…

    By Derek Rielly

    • Comments
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  • Watch: Big Daddy Ho and chillun in “Hush up your blasphemin’, Lucifer, and let me loose!”

    Yeah, I know, y’seen plenty of Mason and Coco and Daddy Ho zipping through traffic on…

    By Derek Rielly

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