Inspiration Bethany Hamilton comes out swinging against World Surf League allowing for transgender women to compete at highest level, vows boycott!
"Have the girls on tour been consulted?"
Surf world in meltdown as world champs and pivotal industry figures line up to claim a ride by Australian Laura Enever as biggest paddle-in wave by a woman ever, “That’s a new world record WSL!”
Semi-recently deceased surf champion-cum-jewel thief Murf the Surf gets second life with new documentary from award-winning director!
Hot fuss!
Florida’s New Smyrna beats out the fearsome Banzai Pipeline to be named “deadliest beach in United States!”
A shocker.
LGBTQ+ community cock-a-hoop as World Surf League tentatively opens door for transgender women to compete at highest level despite Kelly Slater arguing for a “trans-only division”!
But opposition! "Women’s sports is not a backup plan where you can’t win a trophy (and $) in the men’s division."
Reigning world champion Stephanie Gilmore suffers shock Pipeline defeat, sets up gorgeously to make second consecutive run at mocking professional surfing brass!
Hero to zero.
Media watchers astounded, opinion split as surf journalist promoted to “Khan of All Written Word!”
A major step up.
Twenty-four beachfront houses on fabled stretch of Hawaii’s North Shore to be condemned by the state under proposed new law due to “unstoppable reality” of sea-level rises!
"How do we get ourselves out of this fix? Sunset ... we can't lose that beach. It is like losing part of Waikiki Beach."
Gerry Lopez vomits in his knock-off Birkenstocks as artificial intelligence insists “Mr. Pipeline” to be Australian strongman Ian Cairns then Brazil’s cowardly lion Filipe Toledo!
Also, Quiksilver as "ultra hard surf candy."
American icon Pamela Anderson admits to lying about her feelings for surf great Kelly Slater, declares him her “big love, actually!”
Champion in water. Champion on land.
Open Thread: Comment Live, Day Two of the Billabong Pro Pipeline where those who kid themselves about their behavior don’t learn a thing!
Apple shares somehow soar even after high tech giant’s signature watch comes under heavy criticism from surf stars Caio Ibelli and Leonardo Fioravanti!
A corporate juggernaut.
WSL’s wall of positive noise comes crashing down on day one of the Billabong Pro Pipeline amid wild scenes of fat-shaming and sabre rattling, “Apropos of nothing, Shane Dorian started baying for deer blood, indicating he’d shoot anything on sight!”
WSL bingo for the day consisted of various iterations of sand on the reef, bumps on the horizon (which rarely materialised), Apple watches, shaper rankings, and the word “sendy”.
