“Nothing will ever fill this void that I feel in my heart. Nothing can ever describe this pain.”
Terrible news from the well-liked, ultra-positive surf vlogger Ben Gravy who has written about the recent death of his unborn son, Benji.
The thirty-five-year-old surfer from New Jersey posted the news on Instagram.
View this post on Instagram
Two weeks ago, after receiving some concerning blood test results, Jordan & I went in for an ultrasound to check on our baby boy’s health. To our complete devastation we learned that sometime around 15 weeks Benji stopped growing & passed away. In the days that followed we learned that at this stage in a pregnancy the process to move forward would be medically induce labor. My wife would actually have to give birth to our baby, even tho he is no longer with us. We went to the birthing center & for the next 15 hours I sat with Jordan and waited for the process to take place. We cried, we reminisced about our life together & we dreamed about what could come for us in the future. At 9:12pm on July 24th my son Benji “Gravy” Graeff was born into this world. As I held him in my hands & stared at him I knew that he will never get to experience what we’re all experiencing right now. He will never live a life and I’ll never get to experience life with him as my son. I will never be the same. No mother should have to endure the pain & suffering that my wife has experienced during this process and I’m in awe of the strength that Jordan has shown. I’m forever grateful & indebted to my wife for everything that she has taught me while going through this process. Nothing will ever fill this void that I feel in my heart. Nothing can ever describe this pain. Please just let the people that you love know that you love them & please say a prayer for my son Benji’s soul & my beautiful wife Jordan.
An outpouring of love and condolences below the line from fellow vlogger Jamie O’Brien and a myriad of surf notables.
Did I miss the write up on the Gravy brother’s beef?
Not cool. Much respect to you both…
I’ve been in a similar situation, it’s crushing so I empathize with anyone who has gone through it. Miscarriages, stillbirth etc. – seems culturally this sort of stuff we often don’t talk about yet the reality is it happens with frequency. Makes this sort of stuff much harder to handle when it does happen to you, at least until someone quietly opens up to you that it happened to them…and then someone else quietly tells you the same…and then another.
If it makes him feel better to get it off his chest good on him, hopefully by sharing it will help other men who find themselves in the same unfortunate situation. Often we are doing the best to support our wives in these instances but there’s often little support for us.
Best of luck to Ben and his wife in the future.
An ultimate bad experience and outcome. No words can describe this horror.
And we are all still waiting for you to admit that you used to go by “Troll”.
Nah I am not him.
Don’t worry, you’ll know when it’s me….
Idk, every time I hear this from friends and further I of course feel really sad for them. But having learned when I was young that there was a big bro I never met who didnt make it, I think of these little fellas as trailblazers. Friends had 3 miscarriages and then 3 healthy babes in 3 years. Anyone it happens to get through this sad time together and it’ll work out.
That is so so shit. Hope the Gravy’s can heal together and have some brighter times soon again.
Love to Ben and his wife. Been there. Sucks.
It seems the sweetest and most compassionate get dealt the worst hands, perhaps as they are the ones who can handle them with grace.
Big healing energy to them.
Xox
Shitty outcome for both. And I don’t do prayers . They’re no help at all…for anything.
I just had a newborn so I can relate to him. Glad you’re enjoying yourself mr. 24 comments!
how long were you in labor for? you must be a proud mother!
I’m old school (who’da thunk, ay ? anyways, moving right along….)
Death is a shitty time. Best dealt with family.
It ain’t something to be whored out on the innernet …
I guess, Ben’s gotta do Ben tho’, sooo …..
You really read all that and this is what you think is okay to comment? Trash talking off someone else’s pain. Old school fuckin KOOK
bubbles…
Hearing you on the overshare culture, but to be fair.. Ben is a youtuber and his girl being pregnant has probably featured at times in his vlogs. Seen a few of his and they are good at times, but not in a bit. What I’m saying is would I insta message a tragic time, no. I didn’t do it when my Mum’s died recent for example. But life out front types for these identities, I can acknowledge the difference.
I see both sides here. I could have done without the part about holding the baby but they’re also in a rough spot because they publicly announced the pregnancy at 12 weeks. Posting the miscarriage after the public announcement rips the bandaid off rather than just letting it fester.
Only on a surf new website would there be people who would comment negatively to a story like this. We really are the most selfish people in the world.
Thats real heartbreak.
Feelin for you 3..
Anything to do with sick kids or departing, fucking hurts and sucks.