Danger, ahoy!
Where would we as a culture be without Ben Gravy? The beloved New Jersey vlogger who got hisself sober then became a YouTube sensation has delighted for years. Quite possibly the biggest name in surf, Gravy recently brought his talents to Georgia where he graced the local news with his presence while dropping an absolute bombshell.
Brian Michigan, as fine a name for a local newsman as any, first detailed Gravy’s inspirational story before discussing how the movie star handsome 36-year-old made it his mission to surf each of the 50 United States. “The weirdest thing I can find is the thing that gets me excited to surf,” he gamely declared.
Michigan, asking what’s next, received an answer so ambitious, so shocking, as to upset surfing’s applecart for years to come.
Gravy now plans on surfing every country in the world.
All 195 of them.
It is unclear if he counts Palestine as its own nation so maybe 194 but still.
I would imagine pundits pointing to North Korea as one of the more difficult on the list, but I think that will be a fish in a barrel for Gravy’s brand of ultra-positivity. It might even be thought that the rugged blonde will thaw tense relations between the “hermit kingdom” and the west.
South Sudan will pose some trouble as well as Somalia proper. Afghanistan, certainly. Syria, probably. Iran, while safe, might be a tough visa. I’d encourage him to leave Yemen alone.
Which would you most look forward to conquering? Which would give you cold sweats?
Back when I was a younger man, I used to absolutely love Robert Young Pelton’s guidebook The World’s Most Dangerous Places. Snappy, informative and fun. I think it might be useful for our intrepid Benjamin Gravy as he heads out into the world.
Bon voyage.
Look inward
Ben is from New Jersey and surfs summers there. He’s well prepared for whatever insanity, blockades to access, and state sponsored body slams may be in waiting out there.
Global warming Gravy , the fossil fuel burning , culturally ignorant ,Instagram surfer pin up boy of the entitled generation , not to mention cashed up descendent of the Graeff dynasty.
Duke would be smiling down on this one, spreading the stoke around the world..
Girlfriend already vetoed
The Vatican City may be a tough one seeing as it does not have any water
Holy water
R.I.P. Chris Cornell….
Rumor is, Waterways Travel has a North Korea boat trip operator opening up in November.
Wait, Chas. Have you been to Yemen before? Why didn’t you tell us?
I have! Many times, in fact! Would you like to hear about it?
Best writing you’ve done…. should be a screen play
Well thanks, Hipp.
Would you go to Socotra right now given that its “security” is “guaranteed” by the UAE?
Any general tips for people who get held hostage by Iranian backed militia groups?
Yes, but preferably in some form of book.
He did, his best book.
Yemen, I know
Seems a bit of a fraud. Getting aboard the coming gravy train.
Ben already paddled a bit past the 38th parallel and got a communist wave or two about three years back.
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=AfwoakkAcSM
Could probably check Yemen off by going to Socotra. Security is maintained by UAE right now.
It takes a special type of person that can get through the entirety of one of his clips.
Same applies to Chad’s write ups.
You gotta figure the landlocked cuntry’s are going to pose a problem unless you use the lame ass definition of surfing that includes standing on a board behind a boat.
On another note (freshly on the mind), anyone think Otto has eaten any ducks, puppies, or TSwift’s kitty yet?
It’s a rather moronic project, isn’t it? Ben would be far better served staying home reading books… starting with a good atlas. He obviously inhabits the lower end of the intelligence spectrum.
He does shit like snowboarding and surfing in the same day. Stuff that sounds cool on social media but sucks to actually do.
Cristi Noem RFK Jr and Otto can have a dog and roadkill BBQ together.
And “work the land” when they finish eating all the pets.
Now Germany is refuting debate claims by the big orange.
He’s told so many lies, how do you juggle all the potential miscues?
Pesky conservatives.
Easy, like all politicians, if it comes out his mouth it’s in some way, shape or form untrue.
I think they need to pay the position better or suffer the same BS in perpetuity. Why would anyone capable want that clusterfuck job?
Trump refused his salary
He made so much money off Emoluments.
The presidency to Trump is a giant pile of revenue streams.
And, this year, most importantly….. a Get out of Jail card.
The White liberal is the worst enemy to America and the worst enemy to the Black man. Let me first explain what I mean by this White liberal. In America there’s no such thing as Democrats and Republicans anymore. That’s antiquated. In America you have liberals and conservatives. This is what the American political structure boils down to among Whites. The only people who are still living in the past and thinks in terms of “I’m a Democrat” or “I’m a Republican” is the American Negro. He’s the one who runs around bragging about party affiliation and he’s the one who sticks to the Democrat or sticks to the Republican, but White people in America are divided into two groups, liberals and Republicans…or rather, liberals and conservatives. And when you find White people vote in the political picture, they’re not divided in terms of Democrats and Republicans, they’re divided consistently as conservatives and as liberal. The Democrats who are conservative vote with Republicans who are conservative. Democrats who are liberals vote with Republicans who are liberals. You find this in Washington, DC. Now the White liberals aren’t White people who are for independence, who are liberal, who are moral, who are ethical in their thinking, they are just a faction of White people who are jockeying for power the same as the White conservatives are a faction of White people who are jockeying for power. Now they are fighting each other for booty, for power, for prestige and the one who is the football in the game is the Negro. Twenty million Black people in this country are a political football, a political pawn an economic football, an economic pawn, a social football, a social pawn…
Malcolm X
That’s a lot to unpack ol buddy.
No matter who is in charge, nothing changes with regards to the Military, Energy or Banking. That’s who calls the shots.
The liberal/conservative debate is egged on to create division. The sheep blame each other while the Song Remains the Same above the pay grade of the spokesperson for the banks (president)
The Creature from Jekyll Island by G. Edward Griffin is an enlightening read if you haven’t read it already.
How are you man?
I gotta go back to your hood next week. Hope they don’t burn me on a cross for surfing Newland.
Doing well. Heading back to the homestead in a few weeks. Finish off the pasture fencing. Prepare for this year’s hunt.
No hassles at the Stacks. You know.
Just ordered, thanks
Exactly. He said that shit and then the FBI paid the Honorable Elijah Muhammad to silence him. I believe it was some sort of deal allowing NOI to to continue holding up traffic in large black cities while selling The Final Call and bean pies tax free. You missed your calling as an Afro American studies teacher at Cuesta or Saddleback colleges.
Like what?
And magas can dribble down both sides of their mouths simultainesly its a freak of mankind
I like her for reasons I cannot explain
Somewhere around 2019-2020 she went from kinda ugly to kinda hot. Maybe its the hair, maybe its like wine improving with age.
Any girl who looks as good in camo(in a duck blind) as they do dressed up can’t be half bad? Or maybe it is the the cowgirl boots, her ability to buck bales, till the soil or mend a barbed wire fence with a come along…but can she surf?
The hair has improved so they must have some big city stylist helping her with her looks
Farms are some kind of MAGA fantasy wet dream until you go to one. They stink like shit.
mrs Hippy was invited to help clear a yoga retreats property for their teacher training.
She felt obligated because the owners donated the property for a couple of modules. All her friends went to an expensive breakfast at Jen’s fave place and were dressed fashionably.
They mucked stalls. Hard labor none of them expected. Cleaned the barn front to back.
Came home ragged, showered immediately and went to bed at 5pm. !!
That kind of work is no joke.
Should have seen the ladies who lunch and how they were dressed….. pffftttt…. Mrs Hip works hard, but the do nothings that schedule multiple pedicures each week do not.
Did some work at a ranch in west marin in the nineties that had cows etc. I remember putting in a stone set of stairs on a hill in the rain with yellow cow piss pouring down the hill right into the mud where I had to stand and work all day. Stunk like hell after work when I walked into the local high priced store full of Marin MILFs
Mill Valley hotties!
We were in Raglan at an Airbnb…. first time I learned about the service so 2010ish? Lovely place, but tucked back around the river just inland away from our normal place.
Came home from surfing and our house was filled with flies. Closed all windows and killed hundreds, mass genocide. Next morning, not a fly to be seen. Turns out, a farm next to the property had loads of cattle. If we had flies, the wind was onshore. No flies, go surfing.
We did not need a flag to gauge wind direction.
Kelly’s cove has a wind gauge also. When it starts to turn onshore you can smell the birdshit that’s all over the rock past the break.
My maternal grandfather was a cattleman, buying and selling cattle in CA and Mexico. He left LA to move to Wyoming in the late 50s when he quit enjoying the place. So I spent some time in that world and it is wild. Never fight a cowboy or a wrestler were my lessons…and bucking square bales is a bitch.
Then you eat it.
She had some work done, new teeth etc to try and become VP.
BUT can she surf?
Maybe. Duluth Minn has waves and it’s not too far away.
Maybe BG can sponsor Ben Gravy to teach her how to surf
I was told Noem’s ranch is a safe haven for pets.
Blasphemy C4
If I’m going to be living rent-free in your head, the least you could do is stop acting like such a slumlord.
Slumlord millionaire?
More like a Section 8 Bio-Dome experimental dwelling on your shoulders, complete with unwelcomed roomies the Weasel and that one jackass Baldwin brother.
Glad to see that Montana is mellowing you.
no country is far enough away to escape the putrid stench of the teams that call the Meadowlands home
Quit your job Rocks, just got photos sent from Cape Canaveral.
Why do you work anyway? Your wife is wealthy, just hire an au pair, bingo, Rocks Local is freeeeeeeeeeee.
Off to Sebastian to score!
Dude, you only have 5 hours of sunlight left…. You gotta pull this together in a flash man.
yeah, blew it, but the month is still early and hurricane season isn’t over yet
Some are questioning your devotion to this craft Rocks.
Drop everything literally means now
none more than me. Existential crisis.
I”m kidding, you gave up your freedom raising children.
Happened to a lot of guys who dream.
https://uploads.disquscdn.c…
excellent question – believe me, I’m working on that angle
I wonder which warlord we will trade for Ben Gravy’s freedom
“We” won’t.
With those blond locks, blue eyes, and thin build, he’ll be a popular girl in whatever third world prison he ends up in.
And here I thought they preferred goats over blondie surfer boys
Bon voyage or good riddance?
He gon’ die.