Another failure for the one-time "King of Teahupo'o."
Filipe Toledo is surfing’s ultimate conundrum. The diminutive Brazilian, with a lion tattoo’d heart, is, on one hand, a two time world champion, crowned at Lower Trestles with an unmatched little wave game. On the other, coddles a very obvious terror of one of the world’s most iconic waves.
Nothing more needs to be written, or said, about the 30-year-old’s Teahupo’o Terrors. Zero point heat totals, being lapped by geriatrics, his father jumping in to fight his battles for him, etc.
In a word, embarrassing.
Though Toledo has never signaled any embarrassment whatsoever. He, or most usually his father, flash teeth at any hint that the li’l fella is afraid of the Place of Skulls or any other big barreling left over shallow reef. Even though he became “King of Teahupo’o” for one brief moment during the Olympics, wrangling a mid-size wave and claiming hard, he has been unable to alter the storyline that he is a big ol’ chicken when it counts.
And now today, the Lexus Tahiti Pro opener in fading, but still decent, surf with Filipe Toledo one spot out of the vaunted “Final Five,” those allowed to challenge for the 2025 Championship Tour cup in gorgeous, but also scary, Fiji.
And so, the San Clemente boy man transplant paddled into his opening round heat seven of the Lexus Tahiti Pro with all eyes on.
We all watched, some hoping for the shaky-knee’d trainwreck. Others hoping for proof haters were all wrong.
Toledo delivered a wildly mixed bag. He paddled twice-ish, sure, but paddled weird. He dropped, yes, hands-free, even, but it seemed more accidental than steezy.
He didn’t really get barreled.
He came in dead last and kicked to the elimination round to face the notoriously brave Rio Waida.
It was noted from the booth, likely accidentally, that Toledo came late to Tahiti, missing the mega-swell that saw Griffin Colapinto go over the falls over a tow surfer amongst other moments of madness.
And then the elimination round.
Toledo came up against the aforementioned Waida, the small Indonesian who sat deeper than his foe in an absolutely dying swell, comboing the world number 7 (live rankings) right away.
Toledo simply doesn’t want to go at Teahupo’o at, really, any size even if his competitive future is on the line.
What does it mean?
Why do we care?
Does House Toledo’s abject failures speak to our own?
Discuss.
Think Molly Picklum charges much harder than this ****2 x Champ????
Attempted paddle into a wave of consequence and pulling back last minute in waves of consequence will be his legacy.
Go ask the Hawaiians if they represent USA. I think they might rather be brasilians
What’s with all the bullshit about no censorship by hardcore gritters? I shattered and easily scaled the gritty censorship barrier , when I was banned from mentioning the gritter despising and hating swillnut club’s very own west coast south oz pioneer, biff luvin’ charger, trump card sheik, stupe’ ‘smuggy’ nuttle’s infantile, false logic jibberish, after he again displayed his superiority in all things always, and shrieked and trumpeted and screeched to the world that, ‘twinfins are shit in the barrel’.
Whilst I was simultaneously highlighting that clash of the titans, historical epic, when head gritters and head swillnuts went into a red mist crazy, toe to toe, bare knuckle keyboard, street fightin’ surfee brawl to end all brawls. With a hapless, longtom freerider becoming the prized meat, the literal sausage in the wholesome, organic but sordid sandwich! I sacrificed myself knowing that I would be mocked, shamed and banned, but taking solice in that I would unite the warring swillnuts and gritters forever. Whilst shearing the shackles binding the free riding sausage, (who was however, unfortunately, perhaps predictably, easily, quickly captured and imprisoned by the WSL), whilst I also ensured that swillnut, closet gritters were finally, sort of, granted the freedom to come out of the closet.
And just to be clear, when I say ‘swillnut club’s very own west coast south oz pioneer, biff luvin’ charger’, ‘stupe’ ‘smuggy’ nuttle, I don’t mean any of the other swillnut club’s very own west coast south oz pioneer, biff luvin’ chargers like the swillnut club’s very own lil’ willy wallace. Who in another stunning, brilliant display of superior botanical and all things knowledge, also pioneered the discovery of the long searched for ‘omega 3 protein’.
‘I liked your last words about the Omega 3 protein, interesting.
I’ve been all over that Peninsula, diverse in many ways. AW’
Also not to be confused with other swillnut club freestylin’, basically groove armada, nenebred, limestone pioneers and legends, famed for charging secret spots like stoned rises, and the infamous woolwash before becoming feared, powerful swillnut club enforcers.
Anyway, the swillnut club has done a magnificent job in identifying and giving a rapidly expanding, niche market voice to useless gronks. Even those useless gronks forever going B grade right in the land of lefts. Even the hordes of brittle, smashed crab yogi, whole body crippled, hamstrung, padded rashy, earplug and crutch and brace wielding, groveling, sniveling, driveling, slathering blathering, ‘has anybody seen my board, I lost it getting a real biggy again’, pure gronks. Gronks that not even the infamous, and expertly, brilliantly discovered, swillnut endorsed, ‘omega 3 protein’ can save.
welcome to the mainstream
ah yes , another exswillnetter………driven out of the swill to become a gritter….welcome to the club of nothing is sacred even if we pretend…..your sincerely banned swillnetter, by da nettle…
Hurley are getting great value for money
Yapoon 2.0 – come Fil, we welcome you
The main problem seems to be Beach Grit finding new polemic and appealing headlines as this one is no longer catchy
Are we disappointed in Pip for being scared? Or disappointed in the WSL for setting up a tour that lets someone who is terrified of heavy surf win two world titles?
yes
Both.
Chas would rather go out in a stiff breeze with no hair spray than surf 1cm Teahupoo
Hey Pip, we love you and we want the best for you and you can do this but unfortunately it’s not you We hate…:. it’s your father. He’s the problem. It’s called the dark side…. you live in this man’s shadow. There’s a movie called Star Wars. It will explain everything. Please watch the movie
I thought Felipe was brave just getting on that flight. The rest was a bonus.
Conveniently missing the max swell
Naturally
Bout time you got over this Chas. Let’s talk about the fact you haven’t wrote a article worth reading in years
What shocks me about surf “media” is all of the stories we never hear. Going into Tahiti with a big swell coming and a final 5 berth on the line ( at Cloudbreak nonetheless! ) and….. crickets. No write ups detailing the complex psychological struggles involving Ethan, Jack, Baron, grif and Felipe all of whom are in control of their own destiny ( i.e. win in big Chopes and you’re in ).
Wtf? I don’t get it. Thing is… Chas is a great writer and has created the platform where this scenario, if properly explored, could take BG to the next level or higher.
yes but Pip bashing on BG is now sorta accepted…..so he missed the final in Fiji….is there any news in Jack or Ethan qualifying…well chads a seppo…
I’m just saying where’s the article analyzing the incredible end of the year qualification scenario at big Chopes? I don’t need to read a gossip column!
I thought exactly the same thing. Any danger of a preview going into last event??? Beach grit heading for irrelevance!!! Only thing in surf media doing this is ain’t that swell blitz. They interviewed Owen wright about chopes. There is no John John or Gabe but this year has shit loads of story lines still and they have had sick waves. Nothing to complain about maybe that’s the problem with BG not reporting on anything.
Let’s start our own Gig Brutus.
I rocked up close to dark tonight to a heavy left slab that runs past a shelf for more slab, triple overhead. It didn’t feel right and I listened this time after nearly drowning nearby last weekend. So many different animals here and heavy water recently which has left me overstimulated also. So imagine my amazement when a fucken humpback did a drive by of the back shelf on a mondo set whilst I watched from the cliff. If I had have been next to that I would’ve melted my brain.
But it’s not my job that provides for my family so get out there Pip ya petite ponce.
Xox
After Pip’s midsize wave in the Teahupoo Olympics, 25 takes of it were proudly posted on his Instagram, implying that “the lion is here.”
The next day, waves picked up in size, and Pip curled back to his kitty cat mode and embarrassingly faded away without catching any wave of consequence.
A 2x champion with a permanent asterisk…
Chas, you are an idiot.
Simple as that.
‘ Truth+Consequences’
You go by ‘Sarcasm+Arrogance=‘ my truth’
For someone who’s claim to glory is a book about inside gossip boy stories in Hawaii, you sure think you are the shit… The ONLY credit BG have, is since you have nothing to loose, anyone can write anything here, . .no. Censors. And that’s it.
Must Be really sad to make fun of others ‘as a job’, like , constantly.
Imagine your breakfast….
Let me think of who am I going to be an ass about today…
Kelly, Toledo, Italo, Medina, Griffin…
Don’t you ever get tired of your ‘persona’?
Serious question here.
The only credit BG has is no censors? I think you need to reread your comment and reconsider.
I like the fact that Beachgrit has no string attached.
And that by exclusion of competition, it became the ‘voice of surfing’ for those who are true insiders of the game. BUT, Chas is annoying as Joe Turpel. Same same.
Unlike Joe you can choose to have zero Chas in your life, that would save you having to moan about Chas too.
Chad and the moaners…has a nice ring about it for porn band?
Why would he get tired of his work “persona” ? You follow that all the way to the grave. It’s just jokes and foolishness.
well, you lead by example in life.
10 years ago I admired Chas.
But nowadays, sad guy…
The mistake is admiring a made up persona to begin with.
Fair play. I can see how someone would adopt this position and I’d never condemn you for it. I want to believe the Chas that we see on this website is not a real person and is just a character, trying to be contrary to the “mainstream” and make a dollar or two while doing so.
I don’t think that admonishing him in the comments will get him to change his online persona, but maybe it’s possible with a convincing enough comment. Anyway, he’s 45% owner of this website so every time you click on a new page your making sure he gets paid.
Chas plays the part of a snidey, superior, bitter, holier than thou asshole on here, whereas we all know that in real life he is actually a snidey, superior, bitter, holier than thou dickhole.
tell us what ya think,LOL?
yeah sometimes the click bait articles , push our boundaries…whatever they could be, as each of us is different….
Toledo has been a BG target since forever….and yeah his performances at Chope/Pipe have been below average …..we just have to get used to the sniping from BG…..there are lots of diamonds in the rough here on BG……and some of the trolling is next level especially chad and the others,LOL???
compared to 99.9% of online/social media spaces, BG is like a MENSA gathering. Can be a little rough at times, but at least with the regulars there is very little of the completely useless trolling you see other places. I’ve done some therapy over the years, and I would rank a fired up BG comment section higher than a lot of those sessions, ha ha
(along the same lines: https://beachgrit.com/2024/09/surfing-finals-day-beachgrit-san-clemente/ )
yeah trolling has become so passe…….but we can count on BG’s authors….to troll on regardless!
This!!!
FFucken what ? When you back yourself into an instagram corner and then fuck up you deserve all the shit he gets.
yeah IG is where we all share our days/weeks/months/years finest moments…..talk it up……but usually everybody forgets an IG post in 24 hrs…….I am biased as I really like the person who is Pip!
to be fair, he probably could have saved himself a lot of grief by not having a giant lion tattooed on his chest … talk about irony
He probably has a few things loose. And maybe even something to lose. But probably gives a shit less about what you think of him. Any other sport would hopefully have pundits calling out flaws. Tatum gets it in the NBA all the time. Amongst others. Rodgers in NFL. Etc etc. That the WSL and other surf media think Felipe is a legit champ is worth poking fun of. That’s what Chas and DR are rightfully doing. Especially because Fil has all the resources needed to rectify the situation. Literally his sponsor can pay him to surf Chopes for a month. Lame he’s not taking advantage. Any of us would.
nah, Chas just having fun.
If Chas & Dez weren’t here writing provocative articles, none of us would be here.
best thing about BG is the commenters can still hang shit on the founders/authors.
Charlie don’t surf.
Let’s Go B.G’s with Revised Chat Adjudicate, Incendiaries.. Thamkyou…
The garnish of f bombs on the webcast was a welcome kick in the taste buds
🎤🎶” Maria , I just seen a Diva called Maria.. & suddenly I found, how redundant of a sound can be…..Maria. ” R.W.T.M..
Small Wave Tour.
He didn’t make the final five so there is no “Toledo problem”