Baseball Card Vandals (right) a worthy Instagram
follow.
World Surf League drops official trading
cards featuring Tyler Wright, Italo Ferreira and Viktor
Hovland!
By Chas Smith
"Start collecting GDM (Game Day Moments) cards
featuring your favorite surfers from around the globe."
The surf fan hungry for a tactile experience
with his or her favorite surfer has finally been sated. Minutes
ago, the World Surf League dropped a collection of trading cards
that are bound to become collectors’ items soon. Partnering with
Upper Deck, the “global home of surfing” invites the aforementioned
to “Start collecting GDM (Game Day Moments) cards featuring your
favorite surfers from around the globe. Future card releases will
be available on UpperDeckePack.com the Friday following the
completion of each Championship Tour event. Cards are only
available for purchase for 1 week after their release! Set up a
free account today to start adding to your new collection, and
select to have the cards made physical and shipped right to your
door!”
Classic perceived scarcity likely ensuring that Tyler Wright
will end up in the hands of serious novelty item aficionados.
This first drop includes six surfers including, and limited to,
Alan Cleland Jr., Caitlin Simmers (two cards), Barron Mamiya, Italo
Ferreira, Viktor Hovland and, as mentioned, Tyler Wright.
Each are available for $5.99.
Oh, shoot. Reading the finer
print, it appears that these are all e-cards, despite
the invitation “have the cards be made physical” therefore not
tactile and leaving the hungry surf fan hungrier still.
Surfers split sharply on Andrew Tate’s
“woman-hating poison”
By Ollybeak
"Does integrity have any place in the surf industry
and are there any examples of it?"
I have a nice life. I live in Aotearoa in New
Zealand, a beautiful place. I have a loving family, a young happy
daughter. I get to surf fairly average, uncrowded waves regularly.
I have fulfilling work as a teacher at a secondary school. Life is
good.
Things that frustrate or anger me are external to my situation:
strangers being callous or rude, inequality, suffering, politics.
Common triggers that everyone feels. For years, I have thought that
getting angry does not serve me. It invites negative emotions that
brings me down; it won’t change anything and will only leave me
bitter.
This is the characterisation of anger as portrayed by the
mindfullness and wellness industry. “Take care of yourself first”,
“lean in to positivity”, alongside all the other platitudes. I have
followed this path, working to bring things into perspective, be
thankful of what I have and to appreciate my own
insignificance.
I examined my anger. I wasn’t feeling bad. I wasn’t feeling
guilty for getting angry and ruining my positive equilibrium – it
felt good to be angry about this. I was right and my anger was
righteous! I wanted to smote these wankers and what they stand for,
a fightback against the corrupting disease of the manosphere.
Cut to yesterday, reading a piece on Stab about the Matt Biolos
vs Lady Gaga Mayhem spat and I noticed that the comments had been
hijacked by an erstwhile reader who wanted to talk about the Cole
Houshmand being a Tate fanboy debacle.
Well, Michael C wasn’t going to stand for this. See comment
thread below:
Another jolt of righteous anger.
Why was Stab protecting this idiot?
Where are their values of equality and promoting women in
surfing now?
What happened to their female editor?
I know the surf media is a joke but Mikey C’s high handed
dismissal of this being newsworthy incensed me.
I put my phone down and went for my morning run. Steaming mad,
brain whirring about the cozy boys club of the surf industry, the
vileness of the misogyny being peddled by Tate et al, the risks to
the brilliant young women I know, my daughter.
I blitzed my run at an incredible pace. I came back to the house
with so much energy I was fizzing. No hint of fatigue ready to
tackle another hundred hills! It occurred to me. Is righteous anger
the best form of energy, a superpower even?
I remember the British comedian Rob Beckett saying that as a
young man he was always angry.
Coming from a tough working class area of South London, hating
school, feeling like a failure because of his dyslexia he had a lot
to kick against and kick against things he did. This powered him
through life and he channeled his river of rage into his stand-up,
always sparky, energised and combative. Until he had a breakdown in
his late thirties and sought out therapy.
However, despite being a big advocate of mindfulness and stoic
thinking he hasn’t banished anger. He says he keeps an ember of
that rage burning so that it’s always there should he need it. His
metaphor is that the hidden store of anger is like having a nitro
button in a car. There if you need it, to tap and inject that
high-grade rocket fuel of rage.
All this to pose two questions:
1. Is having a secret cache of rage stashed away beneath a calm
and measured mindset the optimal balance for life?
2. Does integrity have any place in the surf industry and are there
any examples of it being displayed you can point to?
P.S. I find it ironic that BeachGrit, run by the two biggest
cynics and believers of surfing being an absurd act, is the forum
that displays the most honesty and decency, despite all the
clickbait nonsense and Derek’s lasciviousness.
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Anti-Elon Musk ecologists look on with
bitter jealousy as Chinese EV maker releases its “Dolphin Surf” in
UK
By Chas Smith
Ocean-inspired.
It’s been a rough few months for left-leaning
environmentalists on the wealthier side. There was, up
until recently, a very simple way to show and share both green
bonafides plus good taste. Namely, drive a Tesla sedan or SUV (not
a Cybertruck). The electronic vehicle, perfectly minimalist, said
everything that might be uncomfortable to actually voice out loud.
Namely, “I’m better than you.”
Well, we have all followed along as Tesla’s CEO Elon Musk first
supported the divisive U.S. president Trump vocally, then
financially and finally becoming his bureaucratic executioner as
head hatchet man at the Dept. of Government Efficiency.
Tesla sedan and SUV drivers, horrified they now drive a
“swasticar,” are slapping socially-distancing stickers on bumpers
whilst looking jealously across “The Pond.”
For it is the UK that the Chinese EV maker BYD is releasing its
The Dolphin Surf – which follows in the sea-themed naming sequence
the brand’s Ocean Series cars – for an unbelievable sub-£15,000
price tag.
Dolphin Surf will come with a significantly uprated 175bhp
powertrain, the Chinese model’s 74bhp motor offers enough power to
accelerate from 0-62mph in 13 seconds and a top speed of 81mph. And
the interior is set to be a more polished version of the
ocean-inspired interior of the Chinese variant, which comes with a
12.8-inch touchscreen, wireless charging and voice
control.
BYD is planning on opening many showrooms across Great Britain,
though none in America. This nation’s ecologically-minded leftists
unable to support the brave workers’ paradise known as the People’s
Republic of China. Forced into either Polestars or Rivians.
Dark days.
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Arbiter of "things worth discussing in surf" editor
Mikey Ciamarella (left) and Andrew Tate's crew
(right).
Surf world ablaze after miniature
subscription blog editor short circuits in wild anti-Trump defense
of Andrew Tate acolyte Cole Houshmand!
By Chas Smith
"My real point is that voting for Trump is as bad
if not worse than supporting Tate."
It is difficult to say where Stab Magazine’s
headquarters is today. Once based in Bondi, Australia before moving
to Venice, California before moving to Oceanside, also California,
chasing that very-difficult-to-grab “cool” perpetually
five-to-seven years too late. Online is, anyhow, where the
subscription surf website finds itself today and online is where
the trouble arises.
After a series of failed big-for-britches editors writing in
Stab’s “royal we” vernacular, the blog landed on one Mikey
“Michael” Ciaramella, the pocket-sized pal who declares “creating
small fires and putting them out, one day at a time” as current job description on
LinkedIn.
Well, small fire lit, though not put out today after the
diminutive fella went on a wild anti-Trump pro-Andrew Tate screed
in his very own comment
section. The unfortunate turn occurred in a pompous
“exclusive’ interview probing superstar surfboard shaper Matt
Biolos’s lawsuit against hideous actress Lady Gaga’s use of the
word “Mayhem.”
“In what universe is a mid-pack CT surfer taking a picture with
some internet troll more interesting than Matt Biolos suing Lady
fucking Gaga (and potentially winning)?” Ciaramella penned after an
apparently misguided below-the-line critic dared ask why the story
wasn’t covered.
Though he wasn’t done, continuing after a few more light barbs
directed his way:
You do know who a majority of Americans voted into office
last year, right?
26 sexual assault accusations against Trump, 34 felony
charges, and he’s big fan of Epstein — “It is even said that he
likes beautiful women as much as I do, and many of them are on the
younger side.”
San Clemente is a Republican town, and several past and
current CT surfers have come out publicly as Trump supporters. I’d
imagine more of them lean that way quietly as well.
That, to me, is far more condemning (and interesting) than a
thoughtless IG story post. And yet it’s not something we cover
because 1. politics aren’t our lane and 2. supporting a predator
doesn’t necessarily make you one too.
After general confusion over the li’l buddy’s pronouncement
delivered from a very tall horse, Ciaramella continued:
My real point is that voting for Trump is as bad if not
worse than supporting Tate. Yet somehow, voting for Trump seems to
be broadly accepted in the surf world, while posting an IG story
with Tate has people up in arms.
I personally find both Trump and Tate despicable. Maybe Cole
loves both of them (or not). You’re more than welcome to be upset
about what he posted, but this doesn’t make it a story for
Stab.
Ummm.
Wait. What’s not a story for Stab?
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Tatiana Weston-Webb quits tour, tells million-plus fans
via Instagram.
Surfer Olympian Tatiana Weston-Webb quits
tour citing emotional and physical exhaustion
By Derek Rielly
Joins surf stars John John Florence, Carissa Moore
and Stephanie Gilmore in the wild…
The former world number two Tatiana Weston-Webb, who
Brazilian surf fans claimed was cheated of Olympic gold last year,
has sensationally quit the tour citing emotional and
physical exhaustion.
“This has not been an easy time for me. I am incredibly grateful
for everything I have achieved in surfing so far, and for the
support I have always received from my sponsors, team, and
fans.
“Every achievement has been the result of intense and collective
effort. Recently, I realised that I needed to pay closer attention
to my emotional health. As an athlete, I have always been
passionate about what I do, but I also know that taking care of my
well-being is essential to honouring my passion and continuing to
compete at a high level.
“The emotional and physical exhaustion I have felt lately were
clear signs that it was time to pause and reconnect with
myself.
“Talking about mental health in sports is something I believe is
important for all of us. I want to be honest with those who follow
and support me by acknowledging that showing vulnerability does not
make us weaker; on the contrary, it makes us more human and
connected, and it also allows us to reach our full potential both
in and out of competition.
“This break is not an end, but a new beginning. I know that with
everyone’s support, I will return to the water stronger, more
self-aware, and more passionate than ever.”
Last year, Tatiana Weston-Webb, who was raised on Kauai by an
English daddy and Brazilian mama, missed out on the gold medal,
which was subsequently claimed by the American Caroline Marks,
after Weston-Webb fell 0.18 points short of the score needed to win
on her last wave.
