Ocean-inspired.

It’s been a rough few months for left-leaning environmentalists on the wealthier side. There was, up until recently, a very simple way to show and share both green bonafides plus good taste. Namely, drive a Tesla sedan or SUV (not a Cybertruck). The electronic vehicle, perfectly minimalist, said everything that might be uncomfortable to actually voice out loud. Namely, “I’m better than you.”

Well, we have all followed along as Tesla’s CEO Elon Musk first supported the divisive U.S. president Trump vocally, then financially and finally becoming his bureaucratic executioner as head hatchet man at the Dept. of Government Efficiency.

Tesla sedan and SUV drivers, horrified they now drive a “swasticar,” are slapping socially-distancing stickers on bumpers whilst looking jealously across “The Pond.”

For it is the UK that the Chinese EV maker BYD is releasing its The Dolphin Surf – which follows in the sea-themed naming sequence the brand’s Ocean Series cars – for an unbelievable sub-£15,000 price tag.

According to This is Money:

Dolphin Surf will come with a significantly uprated 175bhp powertrain, the Chinese model’s 74bhp motor offers enough power to accelerate from 0-62mph in 13 seconds and a top speed of 81mph. And the interior is set to be a more polished version of the ocean-inspired interior of the Chinese variant, which comes with a 12.8-inch touchscreen, wireless charging and voice control.

BYD is planning on opening many showrooms across Great Britain, though none in America. This nation’s ecologically-minded leftists unable to support the brave workers’ paradise known as the People’s Republic of China. Forced into either Polestars or Rivians.

Dark days.

"My real point is that voting for Trump is as bad if not worse than supporting Tate."

It is difficult to say where Stab Magazine’s headquarters is today. Once based in Bondi, Australia before moving to Venice, California before moving to Oceanside, also California, chasing that very-difficult-to-grab “cool” perpetually five-to-seven years too late. Online is, anyhow, where the subscription surf website finds itself today and online is where the trouble arises.

After a series of failed big-for-britches editors writing in Stab’s “royal we” vernacular, the blog landed on one Mikey “Michael” Ciaramella, the pocket-sized pal who declares “creating small fires and putting them out, one day at a time” as current job description on LinkedIn.

Well, small fire lit, though not put out today after the diminutive fella went on a wild anti-Trump pro-Andrew Tate screed in his very own comment section. The unfortunate turn occurred in a pompous “exclusive’ interview probing superstar surfboard shaper Matt Biolos’s lawsuit against hideous actress Lady Gaga’s use of the word “Mayhem.”

Readers might have been less-than-completely-interested as some questioned why Lost team rider Cole Houshmand’s recent celebration of self-proclaimed woman hater Andrew Tate was not, at the very least, brought up.

“In what universe is a mid-pack CT surfer taking a picture with some internet troll more interesting than Matt Biolos suing Lady fucking Gaga (and potentially winning)?” Ciaramella penned after an apparently misguided below-the-line critic dared ask why the story wasn’t covered.

Though he wasn’t done, continuing after a few more light barbs directed his way:

You do know who a majority of Americans voted into office last year, right?

26 sexual assault accusations against Trump, 34 felony charges, and he’s big fan of Epstein — “It is even said that he likes beautiful women as much as I do, and many of them are on the younger side.”

San Clemente is a Republican town, and several past and current CT surfers have come out publicly as Trump supporters. I’d imagine more of them lean that way quietly as well.

That, to me, is far more condemning (and interesting) than a thoughtless IG story post. And yet it’s not something we cover because 1. politics aren’t our lane and 2. supporting a predator doesn’t necessarily make you one too.

After general confusion over the li’l buddy’s pronouncement delivered from a very tall horse, Ciaramella continued:

My real point is that voting for Trump is as bad if not worse than supporting Tate. Yet somehow, voting for Trump seems to be broadly accepted in the surf world, while posting an IG story with Tate has people up in arms.

I personally find both Trump and Tate despicable. Maybe Cole loves both of them (or not). You’re more than welcome to be upset about what he posted, but this doesn’t make it a story for Stab.

Ummm.

Wait. What’s not a story for Stab?

Getting swole.

Through three World Surf League events this year, Brazil’s Italo Ferreira has a dominant lead over the rest of the field. A third place at Pipeline, win in Abu Dhabi and second at the just-wrapped MEO Rip Curl Pro Portugal has netted the former champion a whopping 23,885 points, over 6000 points more than his nearest competitor.

Absolutely dominant though might Ferreira be… bored?

Seeking new thrills?

A whole new competitive arena?

A stunning new social media post shows the effervescent goofy-foot in the gym working out, leg pressing 600 kg while an entirely strong man looks on. That’s 1322.77 lbs for the metric-deficient.

The current world leg press record is held by bodybuilding legend Ronnie Coleman who pushed 1043 kg (2300 lbs) for multiple reps. Ferreira over halfway there. Now, do you imagine world’s strongest man competitions and/or bodybuilding pay better than competitive professional surfing? Do you think people are more impressed with big muscles than cat-like ocean reflexes?

Back when I was in college, a skinny pal and I thought it would be a good idea to “get huge.” We would go to 24 Hour Fitness and bench press, squat etc. then go to McDonald’s and eat 20 cheeseburgers because they were on sale for $1 each.

It didn’t work.