Getting swole.

Through three World Surf League events this year, Brazil’s Italo Ferreira has a dominant lead over the rest of the field. A third place at Pipeline, win in Abu Dhabi and second at the just-wrapped MEO Rip Curl Pro Portugal has netted the former champion a whopping 23,885 points, over 6000 points more than his nearest competitor.

Absolutely dominant though might Ferreira be… bored?

Seeking new thrills?

A whole new competitive arena?

A stunning new social media post shows the effervescent goofy-foot in the gym working out, leg pressing 600 kg while an entirely strong man looks on. That’s 1322.77 lbs for the metric-deficient.

The current world leg press record is held by bodybuilding legend Ronnie Coleman who pushed 1043 kg (2300 lbs) for multiple reps. Ferreira over halfway there. Now, do you imagine world’s strongest man competitions and/or bodybuilding pay better than competitive professional surfing? Do you think people are more impressed with big muscles than cat-like ocean reflexes?

Back when I was in college, a skinny pal and I thought it would be a good idea to “get huge.” We would go to 24 Hour Fitness and bench press, squat etc. then go to McDonald’s and eat 20 cheeseburgers because they were on sale for $1 each.

It didn’t work.

"It’s disappointing — but hardly surprising — that someone is now attempting to capitalize on (Lady Gaga's) success..."

The legal war between Lost Surfboards and Lady Gaga has escalated extremely quickly. Hours ago, surf fans learned that the San Clemente-based operation sued the songstress over the use of the word “Mayhem.” Ms. Gaga’s sixth studio album, released March 7, 2025, is titled “Mayhem,” you see, and written in “cool twelve-year-old-boy” font.

Lost has, of course, used “Mayhem” on its surfboards for much time and has officially owned the mark since 2015.

Biolos and co. asked Team Gaga to cease and desist though after allegedly being ignored filed suit.

Not content to wait for judge and jury, Ms. Gaga’s lawyer Orin Snyder blasted Lost, telling TMZ, “It’s disappointing — but hardly surprising — that someone is now attempting to capitalize on her success with a baseless lawsuit over the name ‘Mayhem.’ This is nothing more than an opportunistic and meritless abuse of the legal system.”

Ouch.

But do you think that Lost is ready to go scorched earth over the issue or do you imagine that a strongly worded statement implying coattail riding will be enough to send the World Surf League’s winningest board shaper to the hills?

The ball, as it were, officially in Lost’s court.

Enjoy some music whilst waiting for the return.

An unfolding constitutional crisis.

Constitutional crises continue to crash around the world’s winningest surfboard shaper Matt “Mayhem” Biolos. Yesterday saw San Clemente’s coolest-looking mom verbally taunted by so-called “1st amendment auditors” looking to test the outer-limits of protected speech. After asking the TikToker not to film his family, the social pest whipped back, “How about don’t talk to me. Leave me alone, sir, my personal security guard is going to get you.”

Today, sees Article 1 Section 8 Clause 8 in play though, this time, Biolos is the one flexing muscle. Lady Gaga, you see, has swooped on stylized “Mayhem,” titling her new album and upcoming tour such. The only problem is that the mark has been owned and used by Lost for ten years.

According to TMZ, the Lost team reached out to Ms. Gaga with concerns though were rebuffed and, thus, forced to sue for damages.

I’m no great legal mind, but imagine the surfboard company has a very strong case. Contrary to popular opinion, there is no “has-to-be-30%-different” rule when it comes to infringement. Each is examined on a case-by-case basis as it relates to similarities. To be quite honest, I always thought Biolos and crew sampled their “Mayhem” from Motley Crue drummer Tommy Lee’s belly but the two marks are certainly unique.

The question, I suppose, is how much money Lost might be entitled to?

A further question, will Ms. Gaga be barred from surfing Lowers until she apologizes?

While the Lost team in engaging lawyers, dragging Ms. Gaga to court etc. they should also sue her for performance in The House of Gucci.

What a terrible, terrible film.