"It’s disappointing — but hardly surprising — that someone is now attempting to capitalize on (Lady Gaga's) success..."

The legal war between Lost Surfboards and Lady Gaga has escalated extremely quickly. Hours ago, surf fans learned that the San Clemente-based operation sued the songstress over the use of the word “Mayhem.” Ms. Gaga’s sixth studio album, released March 7, 2025, is titled “Mayhem,” you see, and written in “cool twelve-year-old-boy” font.

Lost has, of course, used “Mayhem” on its surfboards for much time and has officially owned the mark since 2015.

Biolos and co. asked Team Gaga to cease and desist though after allegedly being ignored filed suit.

Not content to wait for judge and jury, Ms. Gaga’s lawyer Orin Snyder blasted Lost, telling TMZ, “It’s disappointing — but hardly surprising — that someone is now attempting to capitalize on her success with a baseless lawsuit over the name ‘Mayhem.’ This is nothing more than an opportunistic and meritless abuse of the legal system.”

Ouch.

But do you think that Lost is ready to go scorched earth over the issue or do you imagine that a strongly worded statement implying coattail riding will be enough to send the World Surf League’s winningest board shaper to the hills?

The ball, as it were, officially in Lost’s court.

Enjoy some music whilst waiting for the return.

An unfolding constitutional crisis.

Constitutional crises continue to crash around the world’s winningest surfboard shaper Matt “Mayhem” Biolos. Yesterday saw San Clemente’s coolest-looking mom verbally taunted by so-called “1st amendment auditors” looking to test the outer-limits of protected speech. After asking the TikToker not to film his family, the social pest whipped back, “How about don’t talk to me. Leave me alone, sir, my personal security guard is going to get you.”

Today, sees Article 1 Section 8 Clause 8 in play though, this time, Biolos is the one flexing muscle. Lady Gaga, you see, has swooped on stylized “Mayhem,” titling her new album and upcoming tour such. The only problem is that the mark has been owned and used by Lost for ten years.

According to TMZ, the Lost team reached out to Ms. Gaga with concerns though were rebuffed and, thus, forced to sue for damages.

I’m no great legal mind, but imagine the surfboard company has a very strong case. Contrary to popular opinion, there is no “has-to-be-30%-different” rule when it comes to infringement. Each is examined on a case-by-case basis as it relates to similarities. To be quite honest, I always thought Biolos and crew sampled their “Mayhem” from Motley Crue drummer Tommy Lee’s belly but the two marks are certainly unique.

The question, I suppose, is how much money Lost might be entitled to?

A further question, will Ms. Gaga be barred from surfing Lowers until she apologizes?

While the Lost team in engaging lawyers, dragging Ms. Gaga to court etc. they should also sue her for performance in The House of Gucci.

What a terrible, terrible film.

Welcome to Paradise etc.

Shock and consternation fanned out across the surf-rich Hawaiian islands, today, after a highly-esteemed anesthesiologist was arrested for allegedly pushing his wife off a trail then bashing her head with a rock, or vice versa, whilst the two enjoyed a scenic hike to the Nu’uanu Pali Lookout.

Gerhardt Konig, 46, who practices medicine on Maui, was on Oahu with his wife, 36, when the incident is said to have occurred. She was transported to a local hospital in critical condition. He fled the scene but was apprehended later after a short foot chase thanks, in part, to public help after the department posted a photo of the suspect.

“Mahalo to the public for your assistance,” the Honolulu Police wrote on its Facebook page.

Konig was, previously, an assistant professor at the University of Pittsburgh Medical Center though his biography page has been removed from its website.

The Nu’uanu Pali Lookout is in the middle south part of the island, thus mostly unfamiliar to surfers. It is somewhat close to the Kualoa Ranch, however, where I once enjoyed a pig hunting adventure.

This whole story would have never been published, here, and might have never even happened had the World Surf League been more entertaining over the last few months.

Do better.