A three-day retirement that bests even Kelly Slater's short-lived sabbaticals…
In the sort of semi-retirement switcharoo not seen since one of Kelly Slater’s many short-lived sabbaticals, John John Florence has been announced as the local wildcard for the Lexus Pipe Pro, which begins in two days.
Unless your memory is shot, you’ll remember triple world champ John John Florence, who is thirty-two, quit the tour three days ago announcing,
I want to create the time to explore, find new waves, and draw different lines. I intend to compete full on for another world title in 2026, but right now this idea of adventure and creatively pushing my surfing as far as possible is really exciting! The ocean is so big and there are so many different types of waves to explore. I’m stoked to be filming into some new projects and planning to share the amazing places we get to go along the way.
Now, and as announced by the World Surf League, previously in tatters after the announcement that John was out, along with Gabriel Medina and Stephanie Gilmore, fourteen world tittles between ’em, John John Florence will take the locals wildcard.
You think the WSL had to beg John John to have a hit out at Pipe or was the lure of what’s looking like pretty ordinary Pipe enough to get him fired up?
I would suggest first, although not unconvinced it was the latter.
Where does the reader stand on three-day retirements?
View this post on Instagram
Can’t believe JJF named his son. He’ll never be the goat.
Just another day for John, surfing his home break.
Now he’s woke up to where his bread is buttered. Must have read my post from the other day.
Nastrallamas over here! Asked this very question a day or to ago. Was thinking while getting barreled the other day and “when I get barreled I do my best thinking” of course. Llama thought to himself no way JJf going to sit on the beach and change diapers with Ke11y and co.”
Entitled nerd.
would have been fun to listen in to the dirk z / Crosby call that led to this …
*and did you catch the Nate flo post of the ‘not good for me’ borat meme trolling the WSL?? The bros know exactly what they’re doing (as if there were any doubt)
No one will be left in the league if he doesn’t advance
Any chance to surf a wave you love with only a couple other people… priceless.
If only my favorite long board breaks held surf comps for fat fucks who surf poorly…
Organise them! Get your own shit going and claim the wave for a few days a year for you and your buddies.
Talking about bizarre switcheroos, how about this re-writing of history from the WSL:
https://www.worldsurfleague.com/events/2025/ct/320/lexus-pipe-pro/champions
I’m scared to click on the link for fear of seeing a shirtless Elo petting a surfer in Brazil…
At least we know he’ll go deeper into the draw than other multiple world champs being gifted wild cards… * cough, cough, Kelly, cough *
WSL has started shipping in Honduran JJF replacements via San Diego!!
https://youtu.be/TSnrvBxRUts?si=MRe5oDs71DIuFptW
Filipe is crying!!
can I sleep on ur sofa? one night only~
noted?
haha, you fucking nerd
Jack John Johnson:
“Currently, I’m sexually inactive and am interested in things.”
you can try to delete it all you want. The Internet is forever
Post Script Script:
just so you know Jack John Johnson, you are never living the comment down for as long as you are here. I will remind you of it. All the time
He got bored sitting at home for three days – after all, there is nothing to do on the North Shore except surf and he doesn’t have a “real job”.
Doesn’t have a real job? Ummm he has his own dam brand and company. What do you mean he doesn’t have a real job. You think that’s all people on the NS do is surf and do nothing. Geez he just started a family and you donkeys are giving him shit! He’s trying to give your country’s surfers a chance. So don’t be mad be grateful he letting the Aussies and the cry baby Brazilians a chance to win.
Being paid to surf a job..
You bought it for $400 and a sea salt crusted baggy of shwag weed. You tell me?
and also, why you smoking such shitty weed. Even the homeless guy I offered it to refused.
What would Tim Nelson do?
Be obscure in a very endearing manner
Tim nailed it again with his eloquent prose on the Aussie teen twister story
Let’s all quit our jobs
But tell the boss we’ll be back
After the weekend!
I believe they call this the “Minnesota Goodbye”.
speaking of goodbye’s, how funny was Trump destroying all those global elitist pigs at the WEF the other day?
Loved Trump taking an attitude adjuster hickory axe handle to the shins of the BoA CEO. That bastard deserved it.
Also thoroughly enjoyed Javier Milei dishing out a proper WEF schoolyard bully gets bullied verbal thrashing.
dont ya just love the smell of fear/fealty and revenge…served up by a convicted rapist!
We’re back guys…..LOl
*never convicted of rape.
Georgy Snuffaluffagus found that out the hard way.
15 million hard ways.
semantics, ok trump was tried and convicted for sexually abusing and defaming journalist……..
explain the difference between sexual abuse and rape?
Old Elizabeth Jean C seemed a wildly unreliable accuser don’t y’think?
hmmm and the other 17 women also?
global elitist pigs??
what would you call dons tech billionaires ??
Winners
I get it , fear of revenge by don ,and a lack of fealty = loser……do you think don will be able to unite the USA or polarize?
“so much winning , you’re gonna get sick of winning”
yes, I think President Trump is definitely uniting the USA.
Results are already proving positive.
I agree he is uniting the rich right ,with a few naive followers…..the only results so far,has a lot of people being left stranded in life threatening positions….the suspension of foreign aid will affect millions today and how many deaths will there be because don wants a review of spending?
I would rather see Clay Marzo get a wildcard. Slater at side shore head high Backdoor seems like a waste of time, also.
pretty classy that JJF , gave up his spot on tour to Alan Cleland ( dream cam true, thanx JJF)…..then our current World champignon starts the year at pipe….which gives him and his brand a start to the year…..very great commercial thinking……all class!!
Cleland surfs like Wardo. Best addition in years.
isn’t he that mexican dude that speaks perfect english?
He’s an English dude who lives perfect Mexican.
He really is wardo 2.0
so he beats the shit out of women then?
always thought Wardo was like a poor mans AI….supremely gifted with a a slightly twisted persona,LOL!!!
made quite a lot of boards for wardo…he’s a classic!