Kelly Slater joins BIPOC surfing icon Mason Ho and pals in, “Poly wanna party!”

Watch and be transfixed!

In this nine-minute short from the studio of Riordan Pringle, the viewer is gifted Kelly Slater and Mason Ho, as well as Mason’s daddy Mike and guy-pal the Baby Bear, manipulating waves, one after the other, at a chip-shot reef east of Sunset Beach.

Kelly Slater, who recently turned fifty-nine, and Mason, thirty-six, both sport healthy bronze glows on that their famous faces making you feel as if you’re looking at the world through spun sugar. Both surf with a dazzling jitterbug.

Slater can sometimes appears as empty as the emptiest bottle, and as lonely as a radio tube when the batteries are dead and there’s no current to plug into, but here he is alive, kicking waves in the shins. Mason, as well as Mike and the Baby Bear, surf with a highbrow compositional style reflective of their island upbringings.

I watched this video and was transfixed.

Essential.

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“World’s sexiest surfer” Koa Smith charges like a bull at perfect out-of-season Cloudbreak!

"A positive trauma!"

The runner-up to Zeke Lau’s Ultimate Surfer, Koa Smith, has thrilled surf fans with a long-form edit of chasing down and barebacking the hell out of an out-of-season swell at Fiji’s Cloudbreak. 

The best season for surfing Cloudbreak, of course, is the southern hemi winter, which runs from May to October with June to August being the peak. Cloudbreak thrives on winter southwest swells which are plentiful that time of the year.

Koa Smith, who was a star of MTV Cribs when he was just a fourteen-year-old twink, was born in Kauai twenty-nine years ago and quickly became a student of elder statesmen Bruce and Andy Irons. 

His tuberiding bonafides are without question. He charges like a bull. Two years ago, he came heartbreakingly close to completing a one-minute tuberide at Skeleton Bay.

The prized fashion model was last on these pages when he described witnessing, first hand, own eyes, the miracle of the lame and crippled being gifted back the use of their legs.

“A positive Trauma!” writes Koa Smith. “Swell bender hits Cloudbreak! When Cloudbreak turns on it’s one of the dreams of a surfer and we scored multiple days and many conditions of this mythical beast! From oil glass to pumping off shore winds! Watch as I take you along the ride with my POV visions in some of the shallowest reef and clearest water! As the swell arrived we started getting caught in the wave impact zone, breaking boards and having to walk barefoot over the razor sharp reef! This trip will be burnt into my memory forever!”

Essential.

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Surfing enigma Bruce Irons cameos at Pipeline 20 years after being named “best surfer in the world!”

“Bruce is back! Bruce is back at Pipe and Backdoor!”

One week ago, the too-good-to-be-true rumour that Bruce Irons was the mystery surfer making a return to surfing at the highest level turned out to be, yeah, way too be good to be true.

Irons, who is forty-five, “burst onto the scene in the late 1990s with thrilling performances at Pipe, taking it to the greatest athlete to ever live twice (Pipeline and France), and, once, Freddy Patacchia for the 2008 Rip Curl Search event in Uluwatu. He also took the 2004 Eddie with one of the better rides in the Super Bowl of Surfing’s proud history.”

Last year, Bruce Irons delivered a profoundly sad confessional from a psychedelic assisted rehab joint in Cancun, Mexico. 

My name is Bruce Irons. I’m a 44 year old professional surfer. My brother was world champion He’s the baddest motherfucker that ever lived and I’m doing this for him and all my other fallen brothers and fucking friends who died who’ve had a fair shares of ups and downs and losses and mental health problems, you know depression and drugs came to this place in Mexico.

The mystery surfer, as was subsequently revealed by the World Surf League, was not Bruce Irons, Matt Wilkinson or Kelly Slater but Julian Wilson, who pivoted off the tour five years ago and into hard-edged multi-functional fashion with his brand Rivvia Projects.

But while surf fans were left disappointed with the reveal, Bruce has made a rare cameo in a YouTube short by Koa Rothman, joining the Jewish-Hawaiian champ in a late-afternoon session at pumping Pipeline. 

The camera lingers on Bruce preparing his surfboard, which features the imperial Japanese flag, the same World War II graphic his brother Andy famous on his best-selling Billabong board short.

(The Japanese Imperial Flag, aka the Rising Sun Flag, which was proudly flown by the Japanese military during its failed attempt to own the Pacific, sits alongside other controversial flags as the Soviet Hammer and Sickle, the Nazi Swastika and, ooh-wee-ooo, the US’s own Confederate Flag. Jackie Robinson got into a little strife at the Olympics over it.) 

Bruce is still movie star handsome and with that classic elevated pompadour reminiscent of a nineteen-fifties gang leader he fizzes with a deep-seated cool. 

There is a lot of board preparation by Bruce Irons. 

He meticulously waxes his surfboard, including the tailpad, running his hands across the surface to ensure maximum grip, although after his affixes his leash to the tail-string, Koa discreetly examines the job to ensure Bruce completed the task correctly. 

The session is short, one wave apiece, but to see Bruce, in the water, on a wave, however briefly, is worth the time spent glaring at a screen.

Essential.

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Kourtney Kardashian’s surfer neighbour Dane Reynolds releases back-to-back “crass and discordant” films

Dane Reynolds, as filmmaker, as surfer, as curator of culture, has learned to detect where the milk is watered and the sugar is sanded.

It’s been three years since the bucolic idyll of the former world number four Dane Reynolds was shattered by the noisy arrival of the homeliest of the Kardashians, Kourtney, and her husband, the punk-lite drummer Travis Barker.

But lest the daddy of three retreat into his warehouse style barn home in Carpinteria, the famous go-for-broke surfer has instead become the last bulwark of a sport in the grip of its darkest enemy, the chilling rise of the adult beginner, the VAL-apocalypse.

In his latest films for Chapter 11, the almost forty-year-old Dane Reynolds presents Shit Waves, chapters five and six. The edits, as always, have been gently taken from the top shelf and the music is pleasingly “pansy” as a real man might’ve said in the wonderful nineteen seventies.

Dane Reynolds, as filmmaker, as surfer, as curator of a surf culture, has learned to detect where the milk is watered and the sugar is sanded and the rhinestone is passed for diamonds.

Essential.

 

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Fifty-year-old surfer-artist Ozzie Wright proves age shall not weary with epic new short film!

A shot in the arm for all middle-aged surfers!

The surfer, musician and artist Ozzie Wright, the model for a thousand imitators, has stunned surf fans with the release of an epic short that proves age is just a number and that fifty years old is the new fifteen.

Ozzie Wright, who turns fifty in just seventeen months, is “a straw-haired aerial specialist from Narrabeen, Sydney, Australia… his quirky pen-and-ink sketches of thin sad-eyed hipsters were used in Volcom surfwear ads, and Australia’s FHM magazine named Wright the country’s fifth best-dressed man in 2002 in an ironic nod to the shabby-chic trend he helped popularize. Wright is the lead singer of the Goons of Doom, a tongue-in-cheek semi-punk band formed in 2004.”

The last time we saw Oz on these pages he’d listed his Suffolk Park spread, seven-thousand square feet of wildly fertile volcanic dirt one hundred footsteps from oft-times epic beachbreaks.

In 2018, Oz sold his two-storey Narrabeen house built in the style of Frank Lloyd Wright with its notes of Japanese Imperial Hotel, and which he’d owned since 2003 before moving out in 2013 and buying a house in Newport, a few suburbs north. (Later sold for 2.3 million.)

It was in the Narrabeen house, one hundred metres from the famous sandbottom left at 5 Loftus Street, that the surf movie classic Doped Youth was filmed in the summer of 2003-4. The movie, which was conceived and made by Ozzie and Waves editor Adam Blakey, starred Kelly Slater, Tom Carroll, Ozzie, Mick Fanning and Joel Parkinson and was released as a DVD with the magazine Waves.

Where were we?

Oh yeah, this short film. It’s the Ozzy part from the surf doc Riding the Wind by Zack Balang and filmed during those wild COVID years, 2020 through 2023.

He loose and sharp.

Essential.

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