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Super Rumor: Adam Sandler buys Surfer?

Chas Smith

by Chas Smith

Could it be? Might it be? A little bird says maybe yes!

I’m telling you right here, right now, hand over heart that I’ve never once posted a completely unfounded rumor on BeachGrit. Never. I enjoy satire, The Onion, etc. but once you travel down pure satire road then it is difficult/impossible to ever come back and you need us to be true-ish. Right? You want fact-ish. Yeah?

I think Derek and I both believe this and believe this very much and strive, each and every day, to deliver nothing but the flimsiest truth.

Each and every rumor that travels into my telephone, email box, ear is from either a legitimate source or legitimately backed up.

And this one is from a legitimate source though not at all legitimately backed up.

I’ve rumored a few times now that the crown jewel of surf media, Surfer magazine, was on the block but today and unsolicited I heard who the buyer allegedly was.

Ready?

Purportedly Adam Sandler!

Hollywood’s five year’s ago favorite leading funny man!

Known surfer!

Co-star of Surfer magazine’s current Editor-in-Chief Todd Marinovich’s literary inspiration 50 First Dates!

Can you believe it?

Me?

Sort of.

If you loved to surf, were rich and weren’t known for “taste” and suddenly the crown jewel of surf media came on the market for a low low introductory price why wouldn’t you scoop it up? I would. I would scoop it up if only to print large sized photographs from Surfer’s vault for my Malibu walls. And gift large sized photographs from Surfer’s vault for my friend’s Malibu walls. That alone would justify the ummmm cost.

But again… the more important question is, if this is all true, what would Adam Sandler do with his number one fan Editor-in-Chief Todd Marinovich?

Obviously not fire but what?

Elevate to publisher? To Hugh Hefner status? Make him reprise Rob Schneider’s roll in 50 First Dates for the rest of his tenure? Make him go play quarterback for the new Los Vegas Raiders?

So many questions!

Again, this rumor is so flimsy but there is one whiff of smoke.

And that’s all I’ve ever asked for.