A sort of bureaucracy even the most libertarian can love!
I read a very strange story this morning that opened up a pandora’s box of questions in my feeble brain. It came from the famed gossip magazine Hello! and was titled Jools Oliver Reveals That She and the Kids Have Been Surfing for Six Years.
And it made me stop because doesn’t that read like Jools Oliver, the wife of famous British chef Jamie Oliver, and her kids are doing something… illegal? Or at least very frowned upon? Like… that they all low-grade prescription pill addictions or something?
Strange.
But it was the subhead that gave rise to my questions. Jamie Oliver and his family have been learning to surf for six years.
Learning? For six years? That’s a long time! And enough for me to click through. Let’s read together!
Jools Oliver can now add certified surfer to her list of talents! The mum-of-five has revealed that she and her family have been learning how to surf for the past six years, and Jools has finally been awarded her surfing certificate. Sharing a photo from the Olivers’ family holiday in Cornwall, Jools wrote: “Me receiving my surfing certificate. Our 6th year in Cornwall and our 6th year learning to surf with the truly fantastic George and his incredible team. I have only missed one year when I was pregnant with little Bud but as a family, we spend one whole week getting up at 6.30am and hitting the beautiful beach and we learn to surf.”
Can this be true? Does England require surfers to get certified? Should every country in the world do this?
Oh I hate bureaucracy more than the next man, especially if the next man is Australian, but just think how fantastic it would be for people to meet a minimum level of competency before paddling out!
1) Must be able to hold board through entire duckdive.
2) Must be able to identify the peak of the wave.
3) Etc.
4) Etc.
You know the rules. And now after six short years Jools Oliver does too!
But do you think this is a good idea? And who should be in charge of issuing surf licenses? Should we give the honor to Cornwall since it appears they are already engaged in the practice?
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But they are generally hipster pricks who charge 50 scheckles for a trim and aI tidy up of the eyebrows.
They actually did have a registration scheme in Cornwall. Introduced in the ’60s I think and ditched a couple of decades later (?). Insurance, registration and a natty little sticker to prove it to the lifeguards. Seeing as uk surfing was imported wholesale from Australia, I’m blaming that bunch of cunts
Mentalism!
“Congratulations on giving me your money for 6 consecutive summers” – George’s Surf Skool.
The UK is actually fairly light on bureaucracy. Shivering in the North Sea, feeling retarded never required any paperwork when I was there.
But it’s a great rumour to start!
Well Chuck, you know that libertarianism is a political philosophy that never exists until after the roads, schools and sewers have been built. After which the beneficiaries whine about freedom or some fucking thing.
Excellent headline work lately “Required” is an instant classic
Give Volland the job of issuing surf licences. As long as the cunt buffs us out before Adam Sandler gets one.
To be honest, 6 years does sound like a reasonable amount of time to be able to consider yourself a “surfer.” I mean like six whole years though, not six “summer holidays in Cornwall” years.
“To be honest, 6 years does sound like a reasonable amount of time to be able to consider yourself a “surfer.” ” – This message has been approved by 6-year olds worldwide –
As long as you can make money out of bureaucracy it’s a good thing.
Don’t be nasty, they probably did it to get away from Daddy.
I don’t know if they actually like it but Australia is one of the most ridiculously bureaucratic places I have ever lived….
Then you have never lived in France.
True!
In NY if you want to be a barber you have to take TWO separate physicals.
Our best barbers in Oz also have liquor licences.
If they did that in NY people would routinely end up impaled by scissors.
Whilst living in the UAE, I was licensed to drink alcohol. It remains to this day, the most appropriate qualification I have ever earnt.
How do you lose that licence? Not drink and drive?
It was required to carry alcohol in a vehicle. Being in possession of said items without licence was a bad thing. Ironically, I could buy my local beer cheaper there than here due to no taxes on imported goods.
Don’t waste a serious answer to a stupid question!
I’ve made it my mission to educate you Gritfidels.
Is it wrong to hate the bureaucratic nanny state but love the fact that drones have been banned from ones local surf spot?
dont you like in commiefornia? that place is a stalin-esque liberal psychopath utopia.
I went to California for the first time last year and loved it. It’s ironic how California is both a case study in over regulation and the sixth largest economy in the world.
It’s also an internment camp for far-left liberals.
You’re right Charles, this place is red tape central. You can’t even buy a gun from the supermarket!
Off topic, but who let this Chas Smith guy on the message boards. And here I thought we had a moderator on this site.
I can assure you everything is bureaucracy in old blighty. You need a certificate before you are allowed to bus queue, let alone join the pecking order at the local!
are you in Pomgolia DA?
Certified too.
Does certifiable count?
I can count to potato.
One potato…
Nice to see that Dino Andino’s discarded and shamed son is still in the family business despite all of the (alleged!) acrimony.
I like how the infant in the bottom right corner of the certificate picture flat out refuses to be associated with this celebration of stupid.
She is eyeing the cookies on the table. Sneaky little bugger!
That’s what the Mom would say, or probably has said, too. But the truth is the kid thinks mom’s certification is dumb.
Probably both
It’s called a biscuit because they are in England.