Exclusive! ASP rips 50k from Jordy’s trembling hand!

Or, "If you obey the rules, you miss all the fun." to quote Katharine Hepburn.

Jordan Smith’s thrilling win at Trestles quickly turned sour as Beach Grit’s own weeping mascot got fined a massive 50k for wearing his Red Bull cap on the podium.

Details are still murky, because Graham Stapleberg has not returned my calls (for three years), but what we know is that Jordy was ordered to remove his headgear before taking the stage or accept a stiff penalty. Our multiple sources say, the ASP (soon WSL) possibly has a deal with Monster Energy that prohibits the wearing of Red Bull caps on the podium. This could not be independently verified because the ASP rulebook for 2014 “was not found” on its website.

Red Bull, on the other hand, has a deal with its athletes requiring them to wear Red Bull branded headgear at all times and especially on podiums. What a conundrum our hero had to face before the saltwater even dried from his skin!

He chose Red Bull, which was, in my opinion, the right choice. It is a company with money. The ASP subsequently fined him $50,000.00 because they don’t have any. And part of me likes the regulation of sponsor headgear. I get so tired of seeing some brand lackey stumbling down to the water’s edge, making sure his surf star is festooned. I like purity. I like naked, dripping wet hair. I like governing bodies standing up for clean lines. The other part thinks that the ASP might have ulterior motives. What do you think? Email Graham Stapleberg at [email protected].

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shark
shark
12 years ago

This is shit. But for the sake of an argument i’d actually say that Gillmore is surfing better today than kelly was in 90’s.

Steve Willie
Steve Willie
12 years ago

They’re better than me, dickhead.

Marilyn
Marilyn
12 years ago

Sad piece of Journalism. I commend the ladies who are out there surfing their hearts out and representing women in competitive surfing. I hope they find this form of negative coverage a form of inspiration, that there are minion minds to set straight. Women don”t surf at the same level as men, but Steph surfs with amazing style and grace that is a pleasure to watch. The industry which you are a parasite to, find her a very valuable asset, and supports her surf endeavors. Good luck chasing your dream but please drop this nonsense endeavor in creating a glass ceiling in competitive surfing.

Charlie Conway
Charlie Conway
12 years ago
Reply to  Marilyn

Is it an attempt at a glass ceiling or calling a spade a spade?

Guest
Guest
12 years ago

Comparing the best surfer in the world (even if it’s 20 years ago) to womens surfing today isn’t a great debate. Yes, they don’t rip as hard, but you’re just coming off as a sexist douche with a lame, invalid argument.

Seaman Staines
Seaman Staines
12 years ago

He should ditch the hat which looks kind of small on his big head anyway and start wearing something along the lines of the Red Bull formula one racing suit when on podium.


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