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Just in: Taj Burrow’s Gonna Be A Daddy!

Thirty-seven year childhood to end for Australian surfing champion!

There comes a time in every man’s life, at least in those with a lil game, when another late night, another round of drinks, another exploratory tongue bath by some provocative teen does kinda nothing.

It ain’t the disappearance of magic, more the realisation that there’s gotta be more to your existence than willing enthusiasm into a prong that, seriously, is over this shit. Like, brother, haven’t we been through this a thousand times before? Don’t you realise there’s something more profound than… friction? 

Anyway, Taj Burrow found love last year in the form of the Bondi model Rebecca Jobson (she calls him “soul meat”). Old pals, first, lovers, second. Isn’t that just the recipe for long term joy?

As Britain’s The Daily Mail reported, “He’s suffered plenty of heartbreak in the past, but it seems Taj Burrow may have finally caught a break in the love department. The steady relationship must come as a welcome relief for Burrow, who dated The Face host Cheyenne Tozzi for several years. The relationship famously came to an end when pictures surfaced of Tozzi with oil heir Brandon Davis canoodling on a beach in the US. Burrow was heartbroken at the time, telling Stab surfing magazine that he couldn’t get the images out of his head.”

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(Click here for the story, written by BeachGrit’s Chas Smith) 

Anyway, a few hours ago, Taj’s gal Rebecca announced the pregnancy on IG. “Swallowed a watermelon seed 15 weeks ago and were (sic) pretty excited about it @tajamos.”

Couldn’t happen to a prettier, more love drunk couple.

Taj burrow rebecca jobson

 

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And to wrap a little bow on it all, Taj is going to win the Margarets contest (he’ll beat Nat Young in the final). Who can stop a man who’ll soon be hypnotised by the music of a cooing baby and the tinkling of a toy bell in a tiny fist? And who, soon, will come to appreciate the staggeringly beautiful sight of a woman feeding her child, a breast proffered and taken, the teat so full and so perfect with the juice of humankind and yet so inaccessible! Those seams, ready to burst! Even the biggest bubby needs dinner!

Who knew they were so practical?

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9 Comments
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Professor Ski Lodge

Thousands of hot women around the world just simultaneous vomited and shat.

Flush

I always wondered if you could get pregnant from swallowing.

Trogan Fan

He may not be able to out surf Kelly, but I bet he out-daddy’s him.

david

I always figured you had daddy issues. Explains everything.

Trogan Fan

My dad rocks. How dare you.

david

Nickelback rocks, too. Doesn’t exactly make them role models for anybody.

Trogan Fan

My dad isn’t trying to be a role model. Like I said, how DARE you.

Audit In Progress

Weren’t Taj and The King set to be brothers-in-law until fairly recently? What happened there?

Michael A Kocher

I think we would all give up those things for those other things, for seriously.


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