I love the smell of Molly in the morning...
Remember when I used to make fun of the World Surf League for being super poor and super cheap? Well those days might be over! In the past two weeks Speaker and co. have unveiled two major deals with such adjectival flair!
The first is with almost luxury watch company Tag Heuer (pronounced like Josh Hoyer) who signed on as “The Official Timekeeper of the Big Wave Tour.” This move is slightly strange because our inside source says that the WSL is trying to outright kill the BWT but whatever, right? Money is money is money!
Tag Hoyer will use the tagline #dontcrackunderpressure and push out Tweets and Instas to the #kids in #newportbeach and #notjacksonvilleflorida. WSL CEO Paul Speaker issued an ecstatic press release. “When the WSL acquired the Big Wave Tour and Big Wave Awards, we believed it was an opportunity to elevate some of THE MOST INSPIRING SPORTSMEN ON THE PLANET and their PASSIONS to a bigger stage. This elevation has not only seen a SURGE IN ATTENTION to this INCREDIBLE SPORT but has also provided the League with the opportunity to partner with WORLD-CLASS ENTITIES. We’re THRILLED to announce TAG Heuer as the Official Timekeeper of Big Wave surfing…”
The second is with iconic auto brand Jeep. As of today, Jeep is the official car of the WSL and naming rights partner of both the men’s and women’s tour. This means the Samsung Galaxy Men’s World Tour will now maybe be called the Samsung Galaxy Jeep Grand Cherokee Men’s World Super Tour Feat. Tiesto and DJ Snake. Paul Speaker, once again, seems over the moon, saying, “The WSL is a sport built on the back of the PIONEERING, PROGRESSIVE and INNOVATIVE spirit and it is this common DNA that we share with the iconic Jeep brand. Coming off a RECORD-SETTING 2014, the sport of professional surfing has NEVER BEEN IN A STRONGER POSITION, in and out of the water. We are HUMBLED and GRATIFIED that a brand with the UMPARALLELED HERITAGE and authenticity of Jeep shares our vision for the WSL.”
It is unclear, at this early stage, if both the Tag Hoyer and Jeep deals were finalized in the Sahara Tent at Coachella. It is unconfirmed that balloons filled with nitrous oxide were floating within easy reach. There is also no evidence, as of yet, if the MDMA was in liquid or tablet form. Stay tuned!