More real talk at Trestles and tears as Brother is evaporated…
The torture of the sports commentator is his fallback on the cliche, If you’ve got nothing good to say about someone, don’t say anything.
But sports ain’t buddhism! Who cares how nice a surfer is to disabled kids or if his own child is stuck up there in the VIP area watching daddy choke? Charity is the sister of death!
At Trestles, today, and yesterday as already noted, a new level of comfort and experience has filled the WSL’s commentary team.
Earlier today, Pete Mel took the unfancied Miguel Pupo and gave him heat-winning advice.
And, in a round three heat between Nat Young and Kai Otton, Ross Williams and Chris Cote, loosed bold new tongues.
“I wouldn’t say we’re watching beautiful surfing,” said Cote. “This is not Gerry Loepz versus Gerry Lopez. These guys are … workers.”
Ross Williams added, “They know where their bread and butter comes from. A lot of guys are artists and they paint a picture on a wave. Not these guys!”
Real talk!
Watch and listen here.
Now let’s examine the highlights!
Gabriel’s hammer against Bede Durbidge. The Champ writes his turns on pages of gold.
Mick Fanning scraped Kolohe Andino off the floor as if he was a piece of dirt.
And Filipe’s poisoned arrows are back!
Remaining Hurley Pro Round 2 Results:
Heat 11: Michel Bourez (PYF) 12.10 def. Sebastian Zietz (HAW) 8.33
Heat 12: Adam Melling (AUS) 14.43 def. Keanu Asing (HAW) 13.77
Hurley Pro Round 3 Results:
Heat 1: Miguel Pupo (BRA) 12.84 def. Julian Wilson (AUS) 4.80
Heat 2: Italo Ferreira (BRA) 15.30 def. Matt Wilkinson (AUS) 15.27
Heat 3: Filipe Toledo (BRA) 17.27 def. Michel Bourez (PYF) 14.83
Heat 4: Joel Parkinson (AUS) 18.63 def. Josh Kerr (AUS) 13.90
Heat 5: Wiggolly Dantas (BRA) 15.27 def. Taj Burrow (AUS) 12.53
Heat 6: Adriano de Souza (BRA) 12.83 def. Glenn Hall (IRL) 11.97
Heat 7: Mick Fanning (AUS) 14.83 def. Kolohe Andino (USA) 11.57
Heat 8: Nat Young (USA) 18.10 def. Kai Otton (AUS) 12.26
Heat 9: Adrian Buchan (AUS) 15.77 def. Jeremy Flores (FRA) 15.26
Heat 10: Kelly Slater (USA) 16.50 def. Adam Melling (AUS) 10.83
Heat 11: Gabriel Medina (BRA) 16.50 def. Bede Durbidge (AUS) 15.10
Heat 12: Owen Wright (AUS) vs. Fredrick Patacchia (HAW) – Heat did not surf
Hurley Pro Round 4 Match-Ups:
Heat 1: Miguel Pupo (BRA), Italo Ferreira (BRA), Filipe Toledo (BRA)
Heat 2: Joel Parkinson (AUS), Wiggolly Dantas (BRA), Adriano de Souza (BRA)
Heat 3: Mick Fanning (AUS), Nat Young (USA), Adrian Buchan (AUS)
Heat 4: Kelly Slater (USA), Gabriel Medina (BRA), Owen Wright (BRA)
What interests me is what happens if you’re a full blown Christian and you drop the middle finger on a live broadcast? Does he have to go into confession or something? Mind you, I guess he could always repent at the end.
Someone must have some insight into this.
Top 10 List of WSL surfers just about to retire:
– Taj Burrow
– Glen Hall
– Bede Durbidge
– John John Florence
– CJ Hobgod
– Freddy P
– Kolohe Andino
– Dusty Payne
– Brett Simpson
– KS (???)
JJ?
If he loses to Medina in Pipeline this year, i think he´s not gonna make it to 2016.
Poor Wilko so close, yet so far away
Kolohe sucks. Really, he sucks. So does Keanu Asing. It’s sweet though that they think it’s the judges’ fault they suck.
Kolohe is a loser. He needs to lose every sponsor right now.
As i watched Miguel and Italo butter bounce over those end sections of white water, adding cherries to the sweets the judges couldn’t pass on, it felt like they were stomping the ashes and ambers of Julian and Wilko’s signal fires….. i love the Aussie zest and style on tour, but watching these Brazilian bucks kick is awesome. They are surfing for something more than points…… that being said, on a different note. every time i see that close up shot of water receding over those Uppers cobblestones, i get so pissed i live in New Jersey…
faaark , so the WSL commentators think their product, surfing is ugly , just griding surfers who are ding their job ,ouch!
the surfing is really average , Kolohe looked boring for a hot local , no man turns and his bds seem really slidey , but mick just keeps going and uts the arielists to shame.
the lack of art from the surfers is made up by the enormous amounts of bullshit coming from the commentators , which has now really become an art form in itself .
every year i pick my fantasy team based on rodeo flips and upside-down headspins. and every year i get burned. nice to see the power game still has all the sockets plugged in…
imagine if Mick had an air game , unbeatable , which shows you have to have those man turns,
Imagen if mick had any game. Imagen if the wsl judged heats fairly mick would have 0 world titles along with parko.
Jesus christ, this contest is boring. Especially for as good as the waves are! Christian Fletcher is spinning in his grave.
crack overdose?
I´m having a lot of fun in this event.