What other hashtags can we cook up on the stovetop of liberty?
Oh glorious day! As first reported on Stab yesterday, and followed up by the World Surf League themselves today, Bruce Irons has received a wildcard into the Billabong Pipeline Masters in Memory of Andy Irons!
Let’s examine! Stab‘s Elliot Struck says:
And now Bruce is in the event. But not because of any hashtag. It’s because WSL Commissioner Kieren Perrow is a fucking lord and knows how to pick his cards. Bruce will paddle out, not because of any Internet peer pressure, but because Kiz was always gonna put him in.
The WSL’s Kieren Perrow says:
Bruce and I have been talking about a possible opportunity and it’s great to see him charging Pipe again this season. He’s always been a standout at Pipeline and remains amongst the world’s best surfers when conditions get critical out there. With the withdrawals of Frederick Patacchia (HAW) and Matt Banting (AUS), the WSL is in a position to allocate one of the replacement spots to Bruce and we feel like he’s certainly a worthy candidate given the form he’s in. Looking forward to a great event.
And bullshit!
The #bruce4pipelinewildcard is to thank. The angry Internet forced a feeble WSL hand and voila. Bruce is in. What else would you like that paltry WSL to do? What other hashtags can we cook up on the stovetop of liberty? Let’s think!
While we think, and at the end, congrats to Bruce Irons, who says:
I’m so honored to be given the opportunity to compete in the Pipe Masters in memory of my brother, I reached out to Kieren [Perrow] a couple of weeks ago and asked if it would be a possibility and he’s been completely open with me through this whole process. I understand that the opportunity is coming to me due to someone withdrawing, which is never what you hope for, but I’m really pumped to surf Pipe with the world’s best. Really looking forward to the event and I hope the waves fire.
But back to our other hashtags. Is #nomorenolosersround too technical? Would #1swell1event fire the masses? Help me help you!
#bringbackthedoublewhammywave
Do not google Harlequin baby… I feel even more depressed now thanks Mullet.
So who’s the other injury replacement?
Dane’s on the North Shore……fingers crossed
#whatwouldspeakerdo
#goodbyerio
Hopefully KP being the ‘fucking lord’ he is doesn’t can the contest if it gets big again.
The Grit should run a contest to guess Bruce’s Round Two exit total. My guess is 8.67, made up of a 4.67 and a 4, both caught in the last 5 minutes of the heat.
wonder what an “acceptable” result is for BI here? Is Round 3 enough for the doubters (me included) to say I told you so?
Geez Trogan your “pseudonymous internet troll” act is gaining quite the fanclub at STAB… I hadn’t wandered though the hallowed comments board for some time over there… ah the memories, the tears…
I rarely give much effort there anymore. The brazo hating thing took my interest away. Here, I feel free to admit I actually like Gabs and Filipe (but not ADS).
Hating Brazilians is so 2010.
Alternative reality, is that where you gained your fame Neg?
Top of the shitheap Longtom.
Once, believe it or not. It was like here. Except more face stabbing.
let’s be serious, shall we? your one-noted tune is the same whether you sing it here or at stab, regardless of effort. you just can’t let it go about AI and Bruce. and that’s just plain sad. don’t you know maligning the dead, dictators and serial killers notwithstanding, is generally poor form? would you want your kids to read people disparaging you on the web for your past mistakes? or is Trogan immaculate?
i, too, loathe the Brazilian bashing. that shit’s for dimwits. surfers who rip are rad, nationality be damned.
Trogan will smile when he reads your reply David, It’s others little angry outbursts that make him sleep easy, dulling out the sound of his nagging wife & screaming children.
I don’t know his history but he seems quite reasonable to me.
5765 comments on Disqus is quite the history. I say this with the upmost respect.
whoa, so any kind of comment to the effect of ” who really cares about this shitt” needs to be taken with a grain of salt.
not so much. I enjoy a good debate – the subject matter is typically irrelevant to me.
one wonders…at any rate, nice to hear from ya, Negs.
You too David… so civil now you and I. I used to take great pleasure in making your blood boil.
ah, bygones. actually, even when we sparred I enjoyed it. when you sense that your adversary is your equal there’s a pleasant balance to it all. even ol’ Trogan is clearly a clever lad, just a tad misguided.
Kids do scream, but wife rarely nags. She’s no 3-some Rory’s wife type, but she’s a good one.
Of course! us internet heros are often unfairly cast as sad, lonely and bitter old men.
Fairly in this case…
I’m not sure I speak ill of AI all that often, but my kids at least got to know me before I croaked so they would probably be ok. Bruce is still alive, however, and from what I can tell not much of a human. I root for him to fail here, with my dream heat seeing Filipe taking him out.
not all that often, just every opportunity you get, eh? lucky for your kids that they have gotten to know their dad the pseudonymous internet troll who writes cruel shit about people he doesn’t like from the safe remove of his keyboard. because you tell them about that, right? otherwise, they don’t really know you, do they? i mean, otherwise they can’t really know how much of a human you really are. they must be proud of dad.
your problem seems to be that you can’t separate the surfer from his personal issues, which prevents you from really enjoying his surfing. when i listen to Miles Davis, i don’t think, “Man, what a shitty human. He was prejudiced against nearly all white people, stole and sold Dizzy’s horn for drugs, and womanized relentlessly.” instead, i just enjoy In A Silent Way, Bitches Brew, and just about everything else he did before his music fell down the rabbit hole known as the 80s.
i hope Bruce and Filipe meet and Filipe charges. Because we know Bruce will.
Watch this space all will be revealed! might have to play Bitches Brew instead of listening to the commentary team in the Bruce V Filipe heat!!
Maybe, just maybe he’s a better person, a better husband and father because he can let off a little steam on the internets eh? No-one ever considers that most trollery might be actually making the world a better place.
And David, you don’t have any little secret dark places, no little demons that need exercising, that need to come out and play when the kids are down for the night? If so, well done to you.
Fair analysis! I’d say the difference between me and other posters is that I have just one handle. I use it for surf, sport and news, and would be unsure whether I post more on surf or non-surf related items. I probably started using it 3 or so years ago and haven’t ever felt the need to change personas. Negatron is probably able to vouch for this. In comparison to some here, and most at Stab, I think my views are quite moderate these days.
of course i do, LT. we all do. that’s my point. it’s hypocrisy for someone to anonymously say Bruce is not much of human when we all have our faults, our demons, our dark, secret places. Bruce’s and Andy’s foibles are just more publicized. and to keep beating a dead horse every time someone endorses Bruce’s inclusion in the Pipe Masters, to feel compelled to keep talking shit about someone who’s dead with a family left behind–that’s kind of sad, wouldn’t you say? feel free to disagree.
i do agree that an outlet for venting probably makes the world a better place. but use some judgment and some self-reflection, man.
but there’s where you’re wrong. Bruce the contest surfer has shown himself to be a tosser too and I’d much prefer the wildcard to go to a young Hawaiian who actually cares about his current career than Bruce.
But you raise an interesting issue – take away Gabby’s claims, chest shaving and lord-thanking and you have a guy who rips, yet he’s despised white-world wide. Filipe’s dad draws ire, but that’s not his surfing. Truth is that surfing’s an individual sport and you can’t separate the person from the surfing, particularly just because it’s convenient here.
you forgot to take away Gabriel’s sore loser, tears-and-all temper tantrums and his creepy step-dad living vicariously through his career. but chalk it up to being a young, fiercely competitive surfer with a “strong support system.”
your claim that Gabriel is hated white-world wide is way off. i have plenty of white friends who deeply admire Gabriel’s surfing, myself included. i also think his style can be choppy and even ugly between maneuvers, but those criticisms pale when he’s cranking 4 critical backside blasts in a row, spinning 6 feet above the lip, or charging big barrels.
and sure i can separate the surfer from his personality. i think Barca’s a conspiracy-theorizing, pseudosciencing, faux Hawaiian tough guy without much going on upstairs. but i love watching him surf.
we agree on Barca. We disagree on Bruce. Fair enough.
I hate to jump on anyones conversation (which I’m doing) but why does it matter so much? Maybe I’m painfully simple but why feel the need to relentlessly bash a guy for wanting to be in a competition? He might be a jumped up, attitude ridden meth addict or he might not.
Then again he might be.
Why care though?
He rips in big backhand barrels. And at the end of the day isn’t that why he should be in a competition in the first place?
So much hate on a sport which isn’t even a sport.
well, there’s my real complaint. BI won at Pipe 15 years ago. I’ve not seen him “rip” in over a decade. Maybe he’ll prove me wrong.
Please go to Whatyouth and read the article they’ve just posted on Bruce, really good writing and some very well made points. might not change your mind but could very well show you the reason so many of us froth on Bruce.
Will we waiting with bated breath for an upset win.