Rumor: Kelly Slater a Scientologist?

It's a helluva religion so why not?

Kelly Slater is a magnificent specimen. The closest thing our little world has to Tom Cruise. A massive, worldwide superstar. A man who grows sweeter with age. A winner time and time and time again.

Handsome?

Check! 

Rich?

Check! 

A smile that stops people frozen?

Check! 

Eyes that plumb the very depths of a soul?

Check! 

A broad global reach?

Check! 

A wild intergalactic reach?

Check! 

Scientology?

Check?

My coconut wireless buzzed yesterday, whilst I was sunning, and the message skittering across its skin told me that Kelly Slater and Tom Cruise maybe do indeed share the same religion?

Scientology is, of course, the path of stars! Many famous celebrities have embraced the esoteric teachings of L. Ron Hubbard which gives, maybe, such freedom and wonderful film roles (hello, Frank T.J. Mackie!), or to quote its soothing website, “Scientology is a religion that offers a precise path leading to a complete and certain understanding of one’s true spiritual nature and one’s relationship to self, family, groups, Mankind, all life forms, the material universe, the spiritual universe and the Supreme Being.”

Tom Cruise says, “It’s extraordinary, it’s extraordinary. And you know, you always have to look at someone who criticizes you, you have to look at them and say, okay, so? Who is that person? Why? What do they know? And I can tell you, you’re sitting in front of a Scientologist who knows. And I can tell you from my personal experience it’s been extraordinary for me. I wouldn’t be here where I am today without, you know, those things to help me out.”

And Kelly? My source tells me he is maybe an Operating Thetan V and he knows this because he possibly gave surf lessons to other Scientologists through the Church.

The Church of Scientology’s pamphlet What is Scientology? says the OTV is “The Second Wall of Fire consists of 26 separate rundowns and has been described as dealing with ‘living lightning, the very stuff of life itself.’ This level addresses the last aspects of one’s case that can prevent him from achieving total freedom on all dynamics. An audited level ministered at Advanced Organizations or Flag.”

Kelly Slater certainly dealt with White Lightening for many many years and very successfully. Those eleven world titles, many at Mick’s expense, didn’t win themselves.

In any case, wow! I mean, wow?