Filipe Toledo
Filipe arrived at the party and his swagger was back. Gone was the laughing stock of Teahupoo, back was the greasy acrobat. | Photo: WSL

Everyone admits: “Filipe world’s best!”

TourNotes's Peter King on the supremacy of Filipe Toledo and crummy judging decisions…

Last year I interviewed the former pro surfer turned video-journalist Peter King on his use of tour surfers as his personal marionettes. There can be no shadow of a doubt that the old crone has the good humoured admiration of all the best surfers in the world, and this includes Kelly Slater and John John Florence.

Do you watch his creation Tour Notes? Of course you do!

Why does he succeed while others hack up work solemnly tiresome and dull?

“I don’t drink, never drank, I love sugar, but I’m not threatening anyone’s space. I’m not some 26 year old shucking and jiving my way up the marketing chain. I’m not trying to be anyone’s agent, I’m not trying to be a host of the webcast, I’m not trying to make 15 dollars on a Surfline photo. There’s no jealousy. It’s just me. “

Read that interview here.  

Two weeks, ago, the noted writer Rory Parker theorised that 2015 was surfing’s dead-ball era of surfing, a boring game of numbers, surfers drilled into mindless conformity by repetitious scoring and events. And PK responded thus:

“I don’t think it was boring. I found a lot of great moments out there…not sure if the right stories though are always being told.Perhaps Rory you need to get on this tour with me! Between my #Tournotes style stories and you reporting your take on things, I think there would be an untold amount of interest generated from the Tour stops and characters …regardless of who wins what heats.”

I like PK’s candour so I interviewed him, again, for his opinion, which I believe entirely lacks prejudice, of the 2015 season.

If anyone messes up they have to leave. Except the judges. The judges don’t answer to anyone. It’s more like a supreme court than a surfing contest. I’ve sat around, watched jaws drop at scores, and a couple of days later they apologise. But there goes someone’s livelihood. Filipe great Adriano at Trestles, hands down, and yet we get to the end of the tour and Adriano’s the world champ.

BeachGrit: Rory wrote about the dead-ball era of surfing, that it was the most tedious in recent history. Do you agree or no? 

PK: He was pretty spot on. The tour’s trying to play it safe the first couple of years out to satisfy everyone. My opinion is this: Everything is up for grabs on that tour. You can be fired like that, Brett Simpson didn’t qualify so he’s kicked off, goodbye thanks for coming. If Dave Prodan, the marketing manager says something wrong, he may have to leave. If anyone messes up they have to leave. Except the judges. The judges don’t answer to anyone. It’s more like a supreme court than a surfing contest. I’ve sat around, watched jaws drop at scores, and a couple of days later they apologise. But there goes someone’s livelihood. Filipe beat Adriano at Trestles, hands down, and yet we get to the end of the tour and Adriano’s the world champ. But there’s no way he beat Filipe at Trestles. And Filipe would’ve won that event, the way he was surfing.

And you can’t tell me Gabriel got a six-five for flopping down at Pipe. There’s a lot on the line, man. All the hype and the quality of surfing, they have to get the scores right. The big question is, how do we get the world champion we all agree on? We need to show Joe Shmoe, whom the WSL made a fan of surfing, that the fix isn’t in, and if boring is being celebrated as Rory articulated, how do we show excitement? Man, I don’t know. I’m not on the board of directors. I don’t even have a backstage pass.

BeachGrit: Who’s the best surfer in the world? 

PK: Filipe is in the best surfer in the world, hands down. Everybody, everybody, admits that Filipe is the best, most exciting surfer in the world. He does a move and everyone’s jaw is down. Slater, John John, everyone knows it. He’s not the best in Tahiti, or big Fiji, or Pipe, yet, but he’s a kid and he’ll get better. He’s Brazilian so he’s crazy.

BeachGrit: You preach to the converted. I wrote a story a week or so back about Adriano, the pool, the shark, all conspiring to wipe Filipe’s three-event win season from our minds…

PK: He made everyone look ridiculous. No one had an answer. You know what I like? He claims tens. He doesn’t claim sixes. Everybody in the world can claim between nine-five and a ten. With all that stress, that’s cool. But begging for a six-five is a joke.

I think a combo of the smartest and best surfer pick would be Julian Wilson. He’s just that good in all-sized waves. I just don’t think he likes these world titles getting away from him. I feel like he let this year slip away. He probably should’ve been real close to wining that world title.

BeachGrit: What does it take to win a world title? 

PK: You can’t win without being competitive. It doesn’t accidentally happen. Adriano, he’s not afraid to get into people’s faces. Mick, Julian, Kelly. These are guys who are not ashamed to win. John John seems like he doesn’t want to offend anyone. He cruises around and when he surfs a heat looks like a freesurfer paddled into the area. You can almost hear the commentators say, “Hey freesurfer, you’re great, but get out of the contest area.”

BeachGrit: John John and a world title? A dream? 

PK: (Deep sigh) If I was reading one of those old Derek Hynd analysis in Surfer magazine, for world title, I’d say No Chance. Now, from my viewpoint, I give him a slight chance because he’s that good you can’t say no. John John should start travelling with Filipe.

BeachGrit: Are they good pals? 

PK: Totally. Filipe is the only person he took to be in his movie. He love love loves Filipe. Everyone loves Filipe.

BeachGrit: Is he an easy-to-love kinda guy? 

PK: Yeah, and the family’s amazing. So cool. The dad is completely wild and hilarious. They’re like a travelling circus. There’s twenty-seven of them! (Pause) No, but it feels like it.

Why do we have to listen to Ross Williams second-guess a score? Can we remove the middle man? How did they arrive at the decision? Do we have to hear Pottz or Ross say it was an eight five, they get a seven, and no one knows why? Can’t we just ask ‘em?

BeachGrit: How about the current state of the WSL?

PK: It’s the biggest it’s ever been globally. It’s an interesting time. These guys have a business to run with millions and millions of dollars. They’ve gotta get it right. They genuinely want to get it right. There’s nothing evil and they’re not trying to trick the public. The judges froth to surf, those guys are out there every morning, everyone’s a fan of surfing. There’s no malice. But we all pull our hair out when we see a bad decision. What can we do about it?

BeachGrit: An independent ombudsman, maybe? 

PK: Maybe the tour guys could have an app and if a decision is heinous, they can text a red dot. A red flag. If there’s enough, let’s say 17 dots, the decision gets looked at. And why can’t we listen to the judges themselves? Why do we have to listen to Ross Williams second-guess a score? Can we remove the middle man? How did they arrive at the decision? Do we have to hear Pottz or Ross say it was an eight five, they get a seven, and no one knows why? Can’t we just ask ‘em?

BeachGrit: My experience with (head judge) Rich Porta has been delightful. He’d happily explain… anything. 

Earlier in the year, earlier in the year, the judges told Kolohe airs wouldn’t be counted unless they were ridden out of perfectly. Everyone I was sitting with watching Gabriel shook their heads and could not believe he got the score. He fell down, he triple claimed. It was pathetic. It was… pathetic… that he got that score

PK: Richie is so gnarly, dude. If he wasn’t that confident, that mentally tough, he would’ve killed himself by now. He doesn’t care what you think. He loves it. Put a normal human being in that job and he’s dead…

BeachGrit: Let’s talk about Gabriel’s six-five at Pipe a little. I saw a rotation and then some, the score fitted, as it was more dazzling than another two-second, four-foot tube. 

PK: Okay, earlier in the year, the judges told Kolohe airs wouldn’t be counted unless they were ridden out of perfectly. Everyone I was sitting with watching Gabriel shook their heads and could not believe he got the score. He fell down, he triple claimed. It was pathetic. It was… pathetic… that he got that score. Someone debating about the score on text, though, was Shane Dorian. He said it was a radical move and definitely the score. Now, get Rich Porta in the booth and explain why he got a six-five. At the end of the day, go through controversial heats with Ronnie Blakey saying to Richie, “Three heavy results today. Come down and talk about it. Prove your point to me on TV.” We need to have an honest and open understanding of what’s going on.

BeachGrit: What’s your take on Gabriel, forgettable first half, sizzling second? 

PK: He’s the forgotten story. He’s been riding an SUP all year, pretty much. His surfboards are 23 inches wide and four inches thick. I could literally stand-up paddle those things. He’s unstoppable on ‘em. He’s probably got 36 litres under him. The biggest things I’ve ever seen. He’s got big thick legs. Legs like an elephant. Jordy’s legs and David Beckham’s torso. They’re contest machines. They come pre-stickered, all those stickers are laminates. He’s not wasting his time putting stickers on boards. His act is… tight.

BeachGrit: What do you think of  Kelly’s pool?

PK: It’s incredible and I hope to get there soon. But it’s just a test facility, which is lost on a lot of people. It’s not what he’s building. It’s not for everyone to come and surf. It was just some cheap land to test everything out. From what I know, it’s not a secret. He’s been trying to build it for ten years. He wanted everyone in the industry to come in on it but no one wanted to. I bet they feel stupid now. That’s probably a ten billion dollar idea. I just want to get a job as a lifeguard at one. He told me we’re going to the pool  in February. But you know Kelly. He’ll tell people he’ll bring them to Fiji, tell ‘em he’s not going, then call ‘em from Fiji to tell ‘em how good it is.

BeachGrit: What’s gonna happen on the tour this year? 

PK: Kelly Slater’s going to win the world title, Julian Wilson too. Contradictory? Yeah, but I’m covering bases.


Blood Feud: Albee Layer vs 72 heroes!

Maui's second favorite son (after Laird Hamilton) gets ready to rumble!

Do you love Albee Layer? I do. I think surfing needs a lot more hims. He surfs very big waves well, second to Billy Kemper in that world famous Jaws event just a few months back and small waves very well too. Flips and things! More importantly, maybe though, he has a sense of humor.

Three days ago he posted a picture of Jaws from the cliff with the caption:

80 heroes out there maybe 8 good surfers couple 15 foot waves almost no barrels, in case anyone wanted a report. It’s like watching a girl u love get f**ked by a bunch of animals… (smiley face)

And how good is that? How funny? How perfectly succinct? A few of the 72 heroes did not like. @justindirico wrote, “Oh didn’t know you owned the wave. Fucking tool.” @josh_pcpc_prosser wrote, “Fuck your a tosser.” And @tristan_rucynski wrote, “My name is Albee. I own this space of water. I am bitter always. I am God himself reborn.” But he is not! His name is Tristan Rucynski and he is not very funny!

The support Albee got far outweighed the rage. Kala Alexander, Dingo Morrison, Jojo Roper, Coco Ho, Mark Matthews,  etc. etc. all gave many laughs and fist bumping emoticons. And it would seem that Albee won the blood feud so handily that it shouldn’t even be called one. A good blood feud surprises, though, so let’s wait and see if the 72 heroes can regroup and somehow pounce.

What joy!

 


Dane Reynolds Sandspit
"There's a ton of groupies that had their panties up their ass over it. The wave is small, not like I roasted him at 10-foot Pipe," says goofyfooter Chucky, the surfer on the outside of Dane Reynolds.

“Barneys Act Like I Spat on Dane’s Baby!”

What it feels like to burn Dane Reynolds at Seaspit, Santa Babs… 

Oh, there’s been a ton of waves in California, dazzling outstandingly beautiful waves. Do you like the sessions filmed at Sandspit, that lil drainer next to Santa Babs harbour that was formed in 1929 when the breakwall was built?

If you watch this clip (by the fabulous norwell9) below you will see it in undeniable form.

Even better, at the one-and-a-half-minute mark, you’ll see a goofyfooter drop out of the lip onto Dane Reynolds. It is a game of the cat versus the mouse, Reynolds stiffening his muscles as the surfer completes his drop-in, and later waving his arms in protest.

I could care less but random barneys act like I fucked his chick and spit on his baby or something…just a minor little head high grinder…he got plenty better waves than this that day. Should’ve seen the other things that happened out there…way gnarlier. Even saw a bodyboarder and another pro roast Bobby on a real set wave…now that’s heavy.

Do you wonder who the surfer is? Do you wonder of the circumstances?

Let’s ask Chucky aka the_rig, whom I engaged on Instagram.

“Yeah it was a great moment it ‘s even better that I blew it after…I love it. I have an epic photo of it…and I have no business pigdogging small waves shoulda surfed somewhere better without 100+ guys out. The glare was super bad looking up the point, some guy yelled “go”, he knew I didn’t see him and he got over it and stopped crying pretty quick…there’s a ton of groupies that had their panties up their ass over it…the wave is small not like I roasted him at 10ft pipe…I could care less but random barneys act like I fucked his chick and spit on his baby or something…just a minor little head high grinder…he got plenty better waves than this that day. Should’ve seen the other things that happened out there…way gnarlier. Even saw a bodyboarder and another pro roast Bobby on a real set wave…now that’s heavy. Hey…at least I’m not Sean Penn hahahahaha.”

It’s a brilliant story. Do you have more?

“Some people love it, some hate it, and it’s El Niño so everyone that actually surfs has been getting good waves all week and forgot about it instead of looking at the Internet all day. I just happened to notice it between absolutely scoring today. Dane’s cool he’s probably had more than a few good laughs since…super minor.”

Did Dane remark on the event?

“He was snapped, just like anyone in the world would be initially…but when we squashed it 30 seconds later he knew it wasn’t intentional and was cool…said it was all good and no worries. I surfed for 2 more hours.”


Kaipo Guerrero and Rocky Cannon
Rocky Cannon and Kaipo Guerrero are back spitting fire into the mic. The only thing funnier than what they're saying is how angry some of it is making the uppity online haole types.

Live: Da Hui Backdoor Shootout!

With commentators spitting fire into the mic!

The second day of the 2016 Da Hui Backdoor Shootout is ON!

The surf is pumping, the boys are ripping, Rocky Cannon and Kaipo Guerrero are back spitting fire into the mic.  The only thing funnier than what they’re saying is how angry some of it is making the uppity online haole types.

There’ve been some beautiful moments already, with Mason Ho throwing down an insane cross-step floater and air droppng into two inches of water at Backdoor during the first heat, and Makua Rothman taking an asshole puckering ride over the falls backwards during the second.

Fuck your job, tune in and enjoy.


Billy Stairmand wavepool

Jobs: Surf Snowdonia is Hiring!

Do you live in Wales, need a job, and are okay that you might be laid off at a moment's notice?

Do you live in North Wales, desperately need a job, and are okay with the fact you might be laid off at a moment’s notice?

Then send your resume to Surf Snowdonia, the much hyped wave pool park that’s been cursed with mechanical breakdowns, received middling reviews, then got a firm kick in the balls from Slater’s recent reveal. They’re re-opening soon, and because they fired their entire staff a few months back, they need to restock their supply of warm bodies.

Apply here. 

How is Surf Snowdonia, from an employee’s viewpoint?

I recently spoke to some former staff to find out. (Without exception they asked to be quoted anonymously because, in one individual’s words, “Can you keep my name out of it? North Wales is fairly small.”)

The seasonal workers weren’t too happy, but fuck them, right?

The nature of seasonal employment dictates that you toss people away when they’re no longer needed. Sure, you may do it a few months earlier than planned, but who cares about disposable labor?

“The rest of the park was planned to stay open through winter, but when the machine stopped working, no one came, not even for the kids play area”

“I’ve had nothing but trouble with my manager and the payroll clerk since I started.”

“No warning. We understood that the bar and restaurant would stay open even when the surfing lagoon closed for the winter. The app message came as a big surprise to me. I worked the Monday with no suspicions. .. Tuesday I was told by app.” 

“I found out about our redundancy before I was told by the bosses, and even then we were told via phone app.” 

Firing everyone via smart phone app is pretty low class, the business equivalent of dumping your hook-up via text. But it’s so streamlined, how could an employer resist?

All they need do is force everyone to install Deputy and the necessity of delivering bad news face to face becomes a thing of the past.

What’s it like working there?  I’m glad you asked!

“Surf Snowdonia paid me well considering I’m only 18 not many companies would pay £6.50 an hour“

“we had numerous complaints about it being so expensive, about most things being expensive actually, I was reluctant the whole time to serve people at the till, because of the prices” 

“The prices of everything in that place were ridiculously high and a lot of people were bummed about the hype, the red bull weekend worked out a treat, but other than that, it never seemed like it was doing what it was supposed to, we as a company just weren’t delivering what was set out to do.”

“I feel massively let down by them there’s no doubt.“

What about the permanent positions?  Sure, they’re gonna kick the part time kids to the curb, but at least the people hired under permanent status have job security, right?

“I was on a full time contract, there were at least 3 others in the [removed] on supposed full time contracts. I can think of at least 9-10 people on so called all year round contracts. A lot of us wouldn’t of taken the job on casual contracts. Never!!”

“My partner went there after leaving a job of 5 years. 4 weeks later we are both out of work! Not good, no loyalty & no integrity. “

Unfortunately, the local economy is in the shitter, and life’s cruel realities dictate you often take work you don’t want. A man’s gotta eat. 

So will you be competing with previous employees for positions? It would appear not.  Despite the fact that “the village of Dolgarrog is a pit! When the factory closed down the village was on its arse & now the place looks so much better for having SS there,” many have decided to try their luck elsewhere.

It would take an awful lot to make me even think about it. More money for sure,lol. plus a seriously iron clad contract if such thing exists! I very much doubt it.” 

“I won’t be going back, as most of the previous staff will not be.”

“No doubt, I would think some of the villagers will boycott it next year.” 

To be fair to Surf Snowdonia, not everyone feels the same way. At least one former employee is likely to re-apply, though not for the greatest of reasons.

“I don’t think many would go back, but do you know what? I would because this sort of thing happens in every firm over here, and I don’t find it easy to get employment. Employment with an appreciative firm is a pipe dream.”