Just in: The pros are better than you!

At surfing! Maybe other things too!

It is very early morning but not too early for the Rio Pro! Due the magic of technology, I am watching Gab Medina, Matt Banting and Keanu Asing? (it being so early and difficult for my eyes to see things under two feet tall) smash, crash and bash an under two foot lip.

Fly? Yeah. They’re doing that too.

And I totally get the complaints that are sure to rain down upon the World Surf League today. It sounds completely and utterly silly, for instance, for the commentators to discuss Kolohe’s “extremely technical surfing” when his is, quite literally, bent in half trying to push a miniature water lump but God bless them all! They only know one speed and that is hyperbole to the max!

What I am really enjoying is watching the pros smoke a wave that I would think twice about surfing. I would wander over to the fence, peer down upon it and think……..ummmmmm. But the pros! Can they surf anything? Anything at all? Gabs really did do some wonderful airs. I think Jack Freestone did something to his hair. Seabass. All I would have done, had I paddled out, is bog rail and pull into a closeout tube. I mind surf the gorgeous waves on tour, the Pipelines and Whatnots and think, “Yeah, I could surf ok if I was out with only one other man…” but watching that one other man surf trash makes me realize how much better the pros are than all of us. Me for sure but also you.

Also, what is a skateboarding track and how about that new Turtle Bay ad? 2006 techno!

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TH
TH
10 years ago

I’m almost positive I can surf better than Andrew Doheny.. He’s a pro right?

Trogan Fan
Trogan Fan
10 years ago

I’m saying it’s a surf comp. They hold surf comps in shit waves all the time. To me, a top pro should be able to compete in all conditions. Just as you’d lambast Filipe for not charging big Chopes, you should do the same to Parko for not being able to compete in 2 foot beach breaks. Kelly, Taj, Parko etc. know they can’t match the kids in small waves – that’s really why they skipped.

slater thenewdonkey
slater thenewdonkey
10 years ago

Hope one of you site writers comes hard with an analysis of todays action. And your real feelings on those god damn jersey commercials. What an absolute joke this contest is, i couldn’t even watch the heat analyzers.

Trogan Fan
Trogan Fan
10 years ago

I’m trying to remember a contest where people didn’t say it was shit. Why do you watch if you dislike so?

Trogan Fan
Trogan Fan
10 years ago

With Medina doing flips, I’m sure everybody is missing Kelly, hey Zeldini?

Bleach'd Git
Bleach'd Git
10 years ago

I know you love Mick, so here’s my Mick story. In the lead-up to the Quik Pro France a few years ago I went for an after-work paddle at my local mushburger. It was so small and shitty not even the tiniest grommet could get in a turn. Christ knows why, but Mick was out there too – fucking flying. It was like he was surfing a different swell at a different break. And that’s when I decided to become a pro surfer.

Chas Smith
Chas Smith
10 years ago
Reply to  Bleach'd Git

This is exactly what I’m speaking of. Watching the pro pros, not like Luke Davis’s brother, but like Mick, surf garbage is nuts. What’s the secret?

Bleach'd Git
Bleach'd Git
10 years ago
Reply to  Chas Smith

He uses FCS fins doesn’t he?

Chas Smith
Chas Smith
10 years ago
Reply to  Bleach'd Git

That’s it! I’m switching!

cpswimmer
cpswimmer
10 years ago
Reply to  Chas Smith

they’re pros for a reason…

docleelau
docleelau
10 years ago
Reply to  Bleach'd Git

Same situation – went to the trestles QS event forever years ago and stu kennedy was surfing just south of the contest in shin high lefts and absolutely going nuts. Everytime i think i am killing it I think back to how ridiculous he was and immediately hate myself


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