If I had to either SUP or not surf again I would not surf again.
The first time I ever saw a stand-up paddleboard was on the North Shore of Hawaii back in the winter of 2006. I was staying in a home just down the road from Waimea and there was some wave far out the back. It looked maybe fun but also far. Next to the home was a monstrous looking flat boat, maybe fifteen feet and five inches thick, with full deck traction and only one paddle.
I asked the owner, “What sort of boat is this and why does it only have one paddle?”
He said, “It is not a boat it’s a surfboard. A stand-up paddleboard. You stand up and paddle.”
I asked if I could stand up and paddle to the wave breaking on a reef out the back and he said, “Sure.”
A few minutes later I was dragging one of the heaviest things I had ever lifted down to the beach. An hour after that, sweaty and sore (sorry for the “soar.” What a blunder!), I was standing up and paddling out to sea. It wasn’t so difficult, just slightly awkward and not very fun but I was committed and soon reached the wave. It was a hollow little thing breaking over very shallow reef. I paddled into position and took off. I kind of bottom turned, mowed down the line then got too high and dropped onto the rocks.
Ouch!
Worse, the thing was attached to my leg and weighed more than me so continued to drag me across the shoal. When I finally collected myself and took inventory I discovered bloody hip, top of foot and elbow plus a half broken fin on the vessel. It was at that moment that I understood the stand-up paddleboard to be the worst ever derivative of the surfboard and have glared at every one that passes me on either road or out at sea.
The SUP has been around now for a while and continues evolving. From SUP yoga to The Inertia to a SUP rowboat. It has finally found its other paddle.
But am I wrong? Do you think there is a worse derivation of surfing?
Maybe high performance longboarding?
Which is worse, the SUP or high performance longboarding?
Classic photo what a kook
it is impossible to have good style on a SUP. well, maybe when they start baton twirling or performing drunken monkey style kung fu with their paddles or something but even that probably won’t cut it. regardless, all you do is hunch over awkwardly and go straight in while furiously stabbing the shoulder or the wash with your paddle. that’s all there is to it.
hiperf longboarding on the other hand, at least gives you the option between two established styles (“performance” and “traditional”), even though you’re forced to half-ass and be mediocre at both of them. but still. a little something is better than a lot of nothing, right?
SUP’s are like scooters at a skate park. So if you don’t want your kids to be SUPer’s please don’t buy them a scooter. SUP is not surfing and scooting is not skating.
HP Longboarding is super lame but it is still surfing. I like to ride everything on anything but I can’t find a condition that HP long boarding fits. There are definite surf conditions that call for fish, eggs, logs, and shortboards but I have yet to surf a wave and thought “man I wish I was trying to do airs on my longboard”. And the HP Longboard tour is like a bunch of mini vans on a race track = the most uninteresting and uninspiring surfing ever.
I chuckle at all the “rippers” on here downing someone’s good time. Kooks, the lot of ya.
It’s enviable… But the hydrofoil will prove to be the worst derivitive once some barn either tries to be the first to surf or tow a 25 ft wave, falls off and gets decapitated by his own board or surfs a smaller performance wave, goes over the handlebars after his foil hits the reef and same result ensues. While I certainly don’t wish such a gruesome death for anyone, I’m certain it will happen.
Yes!!!
There is worse!
But can you see? You’ll have a cool ass.
https://www.youtube.com/wat…
You want more?
You got it!
https://www.youtube.com/wat…
Aproved… and it’s awesome!
You wanna try?
It’s easy!!!
https://www.youtube.com/wat…
What’s worse? Critics. There’s no kook like a critic.
Soar?
That was a total gaff and I’ll be forever embarrassed…
No. SUP’s are worse than critics. Critics are not in the line up.
Anyone ever have sex on an sup? It seems doable and would be a redeeming quality.
There’s a older local gent at fort point San Francisco (gay-bay) who has had a lot of sex on his SUP. However, it involved a male anus, lots of spit, and a very awkward “bottom turn”
Bummer
Nothing more terrifying has ever assisted the unfit, the incapable and the downright dangerous to where they don’t belong faster than the petrol horse. https://uploads.disquscdn.c…
WTF is an oar board? if you are going to scull you scull or row in flat water, if you are going to be a goose and SUP then do it as stand alone, catch some waves flat water or not near me in the surf!!
But for fucks sake don’t cross over two disciplines to make them even more shit
“new” is the modern “good”, unfortunately
Even people who do it don’t like it.
I think your brother does, it’s hard to miss that grin as he takes ownership of your wave with the ease of a few strokes.
Wonder if Kelly will ever transition over to SUP?
You mean this?
https://vimeo.com/97403180
Your fast forward technique is how I read most Micheal’s prose..
yes but technically he is not a person.
Well, if we are going for historical context we must acknowledge Tom Morey’s little invention, the Morey Boogie. I don’t think there is any craft which has polluted the lineup with incompetence that even comes close to the boogie.
Thing is, they don’t become deadly missiles once the rider is inevitably jettisoned.
Too many times have I seen boogers freefalling straight into death pits while I sit 15 metres over on the shoulder to give them to much shit…
What about the Bellybogger? A 3′ lump of polyethylene that neither floated or sank which glided over waves like a wet blanket. It’s only redeeming feature being that it’s neutral buoyancy made duck diving easy. Not that I had one, I’m writing for a friend.
I think most SUPers are afraid of sharks, or have bad hips like laird. Pussies.
One of the older crew here took to up suping which makes me sad as he used to have a cool style and I’d always watch him when he caught a wave. Now he’s on a sup and he’s unrecognizable.
its a hideous decision isn’t it? they managed to eliminate parts of surfing that were not in need of improvement (sitting out the back) in exchange for riding a craft that’s essentially impossible to maneuver. trimming is cool and everything but i’m guessing the local was doing fine at that on his mal.
Flat-water SUP’ing is perfectly fine. And if you have an injury that prevents you from popping to your feet, SUP’ing is a godsend.
Having said that, stay the fuck away from me in the lineup. Everyone I mean. SUP or no.
Yeah, I think it’s cool that SUPing is a thing on lakes and stuff. I’d totally do that somewhere scenic and mountainy, though usually I prefer bikes for those kinds of places. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
This is my kinda jam.
https://uploads.disquscdn.c…
seems like it would shred dude
A bike for special needs people that has been adapted for the water?
Hey Jen!!! It’s been awhile. Maybe when you come down to Torquay I’ll take you on a date to the lake! Love Wiggy.
dawww you’re so nice!
Careful Wigg. (No offence Jen) flirting on the internet is a dangerous game… just ask Nick Carroll when he clicked on to the fact that Drunken Angel was a middle aged man not a 32 year old woman. Heartbroken…
this is very true! you never know!
I judged some SUP divisions a couple of weeks ago in terrible onshore conditions… I don’t know if I’ve ever been left more angry, bitter and disgusted in my life.
I’m surprised beachgrit doesn’t have a weekly “Cornball SUP” post. Illicits such emotion and easy way to get additional consistent traffic.
High performance long boarding still takes the cake. A SUP is easy to burn as they rarely make the drop, much less the first section. A HP long boarder has juuuuust enough skill to frantically pump down the line and catch up. Then I have to awkwardly explain that no, i’m not sorry, I burned you because I have no respect for you as a human.
The surfing kayak AKA goat boat has got to be worst….
Goat boats are a rare sight in the lineup these days. There was a time when they seemed to be as plentiful as SUP’s are now. I think that is a false memory I have, though.
Rare or no, do you not still quiver with the fear of imminent disaster when you see some hapless wanna-be captain-of-a-very-small-ship flailing gracelessly and with an absolute minimum of control down a wave face towards you? The size and weight factor of the craft may be similar to the dreaded SUP, but the absolute lack of ability or control has to be at least a full echelon below even the most kooky of SUP-ers, on average…
yeah, once that bitch is sideways, its pretty obvious the paddle the guy’s holding isn’t going to allow him to make any of his own directional decisions