Do you consider yourself a “global citizen?”
Did you cry this morning when you read that Donald J. Trump is
planning on opting out of the Paris Accord? Is your monthly
“donation” budget tied up between Greenpeace and the Surfrider
Foundation?
Of course not! You are a BeachGrit-er!
But there is one thing you can do with your extra pennies that
are not being sent to Greenpeace or the Surfrider Foundation. You
can send them to your favorite Matt Warshaw in support of his epic
Encyclopedia of Surfing and History of Surfing!
The Encyclopedia of Surfing and the History of Surfing are both
true works of art. Matt Warshaw has taken it upon himself to
actually commit the only thing we truly care about to eternity. He
has read, sorted, logged it all from Bronzed Aussies to
Zelda . Without him, without these two works, all of our
memories would vanish. He has done a hard and thankless work and it
matters. The entries are brilliant. The reading is gold. And
here we are.
I don’t ask for much but I beg for this because it is good and
unlike Greenpeace and Surfrider actually does something. It gives
us our past and in a strange way it gives us our future. Without
Matt Warshaw we are stuck in a perpetual now. A perpetual
BeachGrit.
Can you imagine anything more horrifying? I can’t.
Come on you bastards! Let’s leave the invading Russians with
something that is actually fun!
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Did Zoltan Torkos Just Win $20K?
By Michael Ciaramella
You decide!
There’s something about persistence. That
can-do attitude where no amount of insults or mockery can shake a
man from his vision-quest.
Zoltan Torkos is one of those people. His story goes something
like this…
On November 21, 2007, Volcom announced a $10,000 prize for the
person who could complete the first-ever surfing kickflip. Their
press release looked like this:
To date, no one has ever documented a cleanly landed
kickflip on a surfboard. Volcom is giving away $10,000 to the first
person that can land a “proper” kickflip while surfing! By proper
we mean an “above the lip” kickflip where first you launch an air,
use your front foot to flip the board, and then land on it and ride
out cleanly. No backwash, no fingerflips, no grabs, no laybacks.
Just a proper kickflip. We’re going to be strict on these following
guidelines. The rules are all listed here, so get out there and put
this trick in the history books. Good luck!
Rules: 1. Your entry must be on video from the start of the trick
through the ride out. No photos allowed. 2. This contest is open to everyone. The contest begins today
November 21st, 2007, and will run until there’s a winner. 3. The kickflip must be a real air “above the lip” – No
backwash, No chop hops, or anything in the flats or below the lip
of the wave. 4. All waves must be self caught – You must paddle into the
wave. This means NO tow-ats, step-offs, jetskis, boats, dinghys,
winches, canoes, oars, helicopters, dolphins or assistance of any
kind. 5. No grabs of any kind. Not before, not after, not
during. 6. You must completely “ride out” of the kickflip. That means
if you land on the back of the wave and fail to continue surfing
the wave – it’s not a make! 7. No heelflips. Or else we’d have called it the
Heelflip-Off. 8. No shoes. Who surfs in shoes anyway? Regular “made for
surfing” booties are acceptable. 9. You must be riding a surfboard with at least one fin. No
boogie boards, wakeboards, wakeskates, skimboards, kiteboards,
trays etc.
Zoltan Torkos, a magician/surfer from the Santa Cruz area,
perked up like a chilly nipple when he heard the news. He quickly
grabbed his board and tried, tried, tried, but it was just so damn
hard!
With sore feet and a failing mojo, Zoltan was given words
of encouragement by longtime friend Carl Reimer. “You can do
it,” Carl told him.
Later that day, Carl was gunned down for unknown reasons.
Killed.
“After that, I made it my goal to do the kickflip on a surfboard
for my friend, and to influence kids worldwide to pull tricks not
triggers,” Zoltan told Wakesurfer Magazine, which
somehow crumbled in 2015.
Zoltan went on to land the world’s first surfing kickflip in
March of 2011, but the completion was met with controversy. As
Rule 3 in the competition guidelines clearly
states: The kickflip must be a real air “above the lip” –
No backwash, No chop hops, or anything in the flats or below the
lip of the wave.
Let’s judge for ourselves.
Zoltan said yes, Volcom said no, chaos ensued. Long story short,
Volcom conceded with a caveat. They’d give the man his ten gees,
but they would offer another twenty thou for a “proper” kickflip,
i.e. off a section/lip.
If you’ve paid attention to surfing over the past six years,
you’ve seen many more of Zoltan’s chop-hop board-twirls. He’s quite
good at them. The best, even.
But never do they breach the lip.
Until… now?
Just this morning BeachGrit received message from Mr.
Torkos, stating: “Here is not often above the lip kickflip 20
Grandeur for sure.”
Once again let’s judge for ourselves!
Aaaaaand ok! I’ll give it to you Z, that was definitely off the
lip. About the same height as my superman, if I’m being
honest. But there is one small problem… me thinky you didn’t quite
land it.
I’ve been around surfing for far too long, have tried to salvage
waaaaay too many near-makes in my life, to believe that you
rode away from this. At the last second of the clip, you lose your
balance, if ever so slightly, and tip back to your heels. The fact
that you cut the clip tells me you didn’t recover.
But this is just a cynic’s view. Maybe Volcom will
be generous with their appraisal of your attempt. Then again,
something tells me they aren’t exactly your biggest fan.
I’m inclined to believe that, when this competition came to
life, Volcom had visions of John John or at least Ozzie
Wright landing the first kickflip — not some magician
from Santa Cruz. How does one market a magician from Santa
Cruz?
Volcom hates your persistence, Zoltan. Keep fighting.
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Kai Barger is a man whose panache we squeeze tight to
our souls!
Watch: Fiji Is for Friends!
By Michael Ciaramella
Deleted scenes etc.!
Did you know that Albee Layer and his band of
Maui brethren are making a new film? It’s called Nervous
Laughter and will be coming out soon, if not very soon.
The film succeeds their 2014 masterpiece, Attractive
Distractions, which infamously did not receive a Surfer
Poll Award. Albee did, however, win Best Performance for his role
in the movie.
The Maui-based film lost to Joe G’s Strange
Rumblings in Shangri La, which, whether or not you think
deserved the Movie of the Year award, led to one of the most
historic moments in the history of surf history.
Fuck the WSL
Still, Albee and filmmaker Dan Norkunas were not happy.
AD was a wonderful film that maybe deserved to win the war
against Noa Deane and his band of deplorables. But like our good
friend Pottz oft reminds us: You can’t just beat the champ, you
have to destroy him. If it’s close, the judges will always give it
to the veteran.
Albee and Norkunas maybe fell victim to the legacy of Joe G.
But now they are no longer rookies. They’ve paid their dues,
mended their wounds, and come back twice nay thrice as
strong! Their new film, Nervous Laughter, will surely
place them in the prestigious Surfer Poll victory circle.
How do I know? Well, the below section didn’t even make the cut.
Seven minutes of pumping Fiji was deemed not quite good enough for
this film.
Methinks Albee should start working on a divisive catch phrase
for the acceptance speech.
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Equality: Give women own tour!
By Chas Smith
Fiji proves it! The women need to be set free!
Yesterday afternoon I spent a very enjoyable
few hours watching the women’s Fiji Outerknown Pro. Oh sure, the
waves weren’t spectacular but the surfing certainly was and it made
me realize how much the women need their own tour. How the
World Surf League is not only robbing them but robbing us of a
better time.
When sandwiched between men’s heats, or men’s days, on the men’s
tour the women automatically become an afterthought. It is all
about the men no matter what the WSL tries to sell. No matter how
much they tell Ron Blakey to amp his voice excitement. “Up next
it’s the WOMEN.”
But when they are on their own program it is a thing of art. The
women have as much skill, as much subtlety, as much nuance as the
men. The way they approach the waves is a thing to behold. The
storylines and built in rivalries sing.
The singing, though, gets lost in the noise of the men’s
tour.
I think, if on their own program, the women’s tour viewership
would grow exponentially. New sponsor opportunities, new markets,
new everything. I would certainly watch much more. I would also bet
on it, like real money through a bookie and stuff.
So come on WSL. Let the caged bird free! Let me win money!
And now lets watch Tati-Weston Webb demolish Steph Gilmore.
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Occy and a picture of a wave on a
computer!
Occy Joins Wave Pool Gold Rush!
By Derek Rielly
Surf Lakes promises six-foot tubes! Building proto
at "secret location"!
Soon, and by soon I mean maybe, possibly, within the
next two years, Australia will have its first commercial
wave pool.
The first tank will be a litmus test of whether or not
spending twenty million dollars on a wave park is a brave, or
very dumb, biz decision. I’ve seen the fiscal projections for one
of ’em, claims of five thousand or so surfers a day, and they
do appear, to my eyes, wildly optimistic. But maybe I’m
jaundiced after launching a string of failed businesses (note to
readers: don’t buy into boats).
Am I wrong? Plenty of bankers and so forth think so.
Because it’s a wave pool gold rush out there. First Wavegarden
got its tanks in Texas and
Wales, to
limited success, then Kelly stunned the world and then
Wavegarden Mach
IIrebooted and turned its little burgers
into a little tube.
Rounding it all out are American Wave Pools and the
German City
Wave.
Today, a Queensland company called Surf Lakes announced it had
hired the 1999 world camp Mark Occhilupo to be the face of
their tank. The company says they’re building a prototype at a
“secret location”.
Surf Lakes hopes to license the technology around the world
to theme parks and resorts and property developers. If all goes to
plan, a full-scale recreational surf park will open in Queensland
by the end of 2017, complete with eight different waves.
One of them, a barrelling left-hander that will be 2.4
metres face height and run for about 60 metres, will be called
“Occy’s Peak”
The demo facility will have the same water volume of
approximately 20 Olympic swimming pools, Surf Lakes founder and CEO
Aaron Trevis said, with the ultimate goal of the concept to make
surfing more accessible, especially for those who don’t have access
to the ocean or waves.
“99.5 per cent of the world’s population have never surfed,
which is why we believe there is a significant opportunity for the
Surf Lakes technology,” Trevis said.
Do you like statistics? Oh I do. If 0.5 per cent of the world’s
population surfs, that means there’s 35 million surfers out
there.
Whatever, tanks are the sort of businesses that appeal to
bankers who’ve made their money already, dig to surf, are
entranced by the magic of wave pools (and they are magic, god yes,
wonderful things, even the worst of ’em) and want to combine it all
into the one fabulous lifestyle business.
(Here’s a GIPHY of the Surf Lakes proto. Multiple that into a
six-footer and I doubt any of us will be getting to our feet before
being shovelled into the vinyl reef.)