The 2020 Olympic Games in Tokyo, Japan are
right around the corner and how excited are you for the jingoistic
bacchanal? The correct answer is “very” and you are not alone.
Professional surfer Kanoa Igarashi is so excited that he changed his
nationality to Japanese from American and don’t you
think it is funny that Americans call themselves “American?” I
mean, there are 23 different countries in North, Central and South
America with each having an equal claim to the “America”
moniker.
I mean, not “equal” the America we call America has much more
money and a much larger military than the other 22 combined but
still. Funny. But not as funny as Australians not being able to
pronounce the word “Australia.”
In a gorgeously written
piece, author Tiger Webb walks though the historical
and modern troubles Australians have with Australia. And let us
read.
Towards the tail end of 1933, Londoners realised something
strange: BBC announcers seemed to take multiple approaches to
pronouncing the word Australia.
In one, the first syllable rhymed with the title of Patrick
White’s then-unpublished Voss. In the other, the first syllable
resembled the vowel sound in ore.
This state of chaos terrified the British public so much
that newspapers lobbied the BBC to go with (their orthography)
Osstralia.
Actual Australians, hearing of this debate, argued for a
third way.
“I agree that Australia should not be pronounced
Orestralia,” said the Reverend GE Hale, a lecturer in public
speaking at the Workers’ Educational Association of
Adelaide.
“But neither should it be pronounced Osstralia.”
For Hale, there was a third way — closer to Orestralia, but
without stress on the first syllable. Orstralia.
That this great country had not settled on a single
pronunciation of its own name, even 30 years after Federation,
didn’t seem to faze its residents.
On the contrary: there is some evidence to suggest that
speakers of Australian English used these variant pronunciations as
a handy form of social marker.
In his autobiography, the writer Hal Porter observed that he
was “an unmistakable Australian, albeit of the Awstralian rather
than the Osstralian variety”.
Porter’s remarks on the Australian accent, written in 1963,
neatly mirror today’s anxieties around pronunciation.
So? How do you pronounce? Having received my graduate degree in
Applied Linguists I’ll tell you it doesn’t matter. Language is as
language does but maybe you think one way is right and the others
are silly. So are you an Osstralia gal, an Orestralia gal or an
Orstralia gal?
Hmmm?
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Famous author: “Italo, Gabriel weak,
conniving!”
By Derek Rielly
Tim Winton says, "It's amazing how cowardly those
guys were."
Two days ago, the celebrated Australian writer Tim
Winton appeared on a youth network talk show for a few
reasons: to pimp a new book and talk about “toxic masculinity”
with a brief detour into the film adaption of his surf novel
Breath.
Winton, who is fifty seven years old and lives in a suburb of
Perth, Western Australia, regards the modern man as something a
little diminished.
“As someone who’s surfed all over the world and with the
machismo and bravado of Brazilians in particular, I thought it was
amazing how cowardly those guys were,” he said
“I wonder what kind of sooks men are… (if they) can’t hear any
form of criticism without needing cotton wool or wearing a special
helmet,” he said.
Winton grew up surfing around the south-west and says he wasn’t
impressed when the Brazilians Gabriel Medina and Italo Ferreira
applied a little pressure to the WSL to cancel the Margaret River
Pro.
“As someone who’s surfed all over the world and with the
machismo and bravado of Brazilians in particular, I thought it was
amazing how cowardly those guys were,” he said. “Look, not
everybody wants to be in the water the day after two guys have
failed the taste test around the corner, but I thought it was a
really low act on behalf of those two guys. Because, also,
there’s a professional aspect to that. They’ve just given
themselves a professional advantage in the competition. At one
level it was weak of them. At another level it was conniving.”
Winton suggested a
chlorinated future would better suit
the pair.
“I just think
if you want to go swimming in a dead ocean, go to a pool, go to a
wave pool. If you want to be part of something that’s alive, and
that’s what surfing is to most of us, then you’ve gotta be
prepared, you’re doing that in a living ecosystem. If you want to
kill all the sharks you’re just going to kill the oceans. It’s one
of the few places in the world where there are actually real
waves.”
(Here, the host jumped in. “And it was ripping!”)
“Yeah, so they can go back to surfing dirty onshore beach slop
in water somewhere else and that’ll be surfing. Finally we get
something to look at and they don’t want to go out.”
You well know that our earth’s atmosphere is
toasting up due an over-abundance of carbon emissions etc. and do
you feel bad, resolute or resigned? I’m somewhere between resigned
and indifferent. It is a bummer that we humans are such… consumers
but it bothers me at an aesthetic level more than a ecological one.
Like people who buy delightfully small homes in moderate climates
then tear them down and build monstrosities.
Very gauche.
But at least as far as our surfing is concerned global warming
holds promise or so declares The New York Times. In a
review of four “ocean lifestyle” books the promise is clear. Future
storms will be more severe and create more waves. And let’s read
one review together?
But “debate rages,” the oceanographer Eelco J. Rohling
writes in THE OCEANS: A Deep History (Princeton University,
$29.95), “over whether we will see a stormier atmosphere in
general, or perhaps fewer but bigger storms.”
But “debate rages,” the oceanographer Eelco J. Rohling
writes in THE OCEANS: A Deep History (Princeton University,
$29.95), “over whether we will see a stormier atmosphere
in general, or perhaps fewer but bigger storms.”Paleoceanography,
Rohling’s area of expertise, is the study of ancient oceans and
ancient climates as they changed and developed together over
geologic time. It involves analyzing data like layers of sediment
taken from the seabed. Much alarming information can be learned
this way, as Rohling demonstrates, about how today’s oceans are
likely to respond to climate change — with greater acidification,
sea-level rise, mass extinction and so forth. But because storms
leave no geological record, the precise effect of global warming on
hurricanes is harder to gauge.
Still, Rohling is confident that the combination of rising
sea levels and some form of increased storm intensity “spells doom”
for the world’s coastal regions. For surfers, rooting for hurricane
swell may be increasingly difficult to rationalize.
Not difficult for me to rationalize. I’m a surfer! And so are
you.
The same piece poetically declares.
In September, Hurricanes Irma and Maria posed this question
with some vividness, producing the best run of swell seen in years
along the East Coast while unleashing chaos and devastation down in
the Caribbean. Surfers, to judge from the throngs who gleefully
paddled out from Florida to New England, make for unreflective
scholars of the divine.
Amen.
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Warshaw: “Kissed by God disturbed me!”
By Derek Rielly
Surf historian Matt Warshaw lights up on the AI
documentary…
Next Wednesday, the AI documentary Kissed by
God makes its world premiere in Los Angeles.
Honolulu gets a premiere on May 6. New York follows four days
later. Tickets are being distributed through a sign-up
process, some are giveaways. Click here to get in the
mix.
Now I ain’t one for exaggeration, I don’t think, and therefore
tend to err on the sceptical side of the ledger. But Kissed by
God? Anyone even vaguely related to the game of surfing won’t
want to miss it and I urge you to find a screening at the first
possible instance.
“I had a dying heroin addict husband,” says Lyndie Irons. You
want to miss that sorta candour?
Much earlier today, the surf historian Matt Warshaw and I
viewed our respective screeners and came at it, swords, opinions
drawn.
BeachGrit: Kissed by God is a… masterly…
wrenching back of the narrative of Andy Irons’ life (and death).
All the pious finger-pointers are silenced by the diagnoses of
bi-polar disease, a doc from Harvard adding credence even though
he’d never met the star of the movie. And, of course, once a mental
illness is identified no further criticism is allowed. But, tell
me, do you think, egg before the chicken or the chicken before the
egg? To wit, drugs before disease or disease before drugs? Or
disease as a convenient spin? I know you’re not a doctor, neither
am I, but as I said the other day, you can’t fly as high as Andy
did and not land with a thud.
Warshaw: Kissed by God is much much better than I
thought it would be. On the other hand, it’s an
Irons-family-approved project, so my expectations were low. In fact
I turned it off after the opening bit, with all the stock slow-mo
underwater shots, and Andy’s “kissed by god” monolouge in the voice
over. I remember the Billabong promo when Andy’s “kissed by god”
speech came out, I think it was right before it died . .
. it was strange when I first saw it, and watching it again
today, for me anyway, was just really disturbing. He’s got the drug
sweats, he’s slurring, and you can tell he’s trying hard to, I
don’t know, be better, to be well. But he’s kidding himself in that
speech. Partly, anyway. And he’s kidding the rest of us too. The
bit about getting your first hit of surfing and then spending your
life chasing that feeling, he’s just done a switcheroo there, with
“surfing” as a metaphor for drugs. That’s how I hear it. So yeah, I
got off to a bad start with Kissed by God.
The bit about getting your first hit of surfing and then
spending your life chasing that feeling, he’s just done a
switcheroo there, with “surfing” as a metaphor for drugs. That’s
how I hear it. So yeah, I got off to a bad start with Kissed by
God.
BeachGrit: What compelled you to keep
watching?
Warshaw: Bruce comes onscreen, and thirty seconds later I’m all
in. Bruce hedged a bet or two as well, but mostly he was incredibly
honest and of course incredibly charismatic. He’s the heart and
soul of the movie. And I’ll bet anything it was Bruce who pushed to
make the movie as honest as it is. It’s not Brad Melelkain-level honest, and everybody
involved with Kissed By God still owes Brad an
apology. But my sense is that Bruce himself very much
needed to unburdon himself, to get some more truth out there, and
that he set the tone for all the other people talking onscreen.
BeachGrit; The static interview style of these sorts of
documentaries usually bores me to tears. But, here, because it’s
not a sing-song Andy-was-the-greatest-surfer-ever-hagiography,
there’s an honesty I’ve never heard from the usual roll call of
stars. Kelly saying Andy called him an old bald kook, adding,
“Well, if this old bald kook beats you you’re going to be crushed.”
Bruce is Bruce, not a damn word censored (“We were drug addicted
monsters!”), Joel, Sunny, Lyndie, Mick. It’s almost as if they’re
channelling AI. ‘Cause, not sure if you ever interviewed him, but
if you asked a question he wasn’t going to festoon it with
meaningless bunting. What are your favourite moments in the
film?
Warshaw: Probably, as you say, the moments where Andy himself is
onscreen talking without a filter. The bit where they show the
blank rehab intake form, with the all the drug history questions,
and Andy’s hand-written answers show up onscreen one by
one.
“Do you consider yourself an addict?”
Long pause.
“Yes.”
That was so powerful. What else? Fifteen years later, or
whatever it is, Andy’s surfing holds up amazingly well. That was
great to see. I’m not sure if “favorite” is the right word, but I
was suprised to find out how fucked-up Andy was that first year on
tour. The bipolar diagnosis and the heavy drug use. On the other
hand, knowing that the Irons family knew that Andy was bipolar from
that far back is…sad. More than sad. Bipolar people don’t get
better without meds. Go off the meds and you’re a timebomb.
Research bipolar disorder and that’s right there at the top of the
page. When the movie rolls into 2010 I was just mad at everybody,
anybody, who thought Andy should be back on tour. Friends, family,
sponsors. The guy is bipolar AND an addict. You can argue that in
the end it’s Andy’s decision, but I wanted to at least see somebody
from his inner circle say “We blew it, he never should have been
out there.” In other words, the movie goes further than I expected,
but maybe it’s still too soon to for the full accounting.
What surprised you about Kissing God? I’ll tell you what
surprised me, how losing at J-Bay in 2005 on what he thought was a
bum call put him on the road to ruin. Which means the ASP judges
killed AI. Am I drawing too long a bow here?
I think you are, Derek. That section of the film was overcooked.
They all get fucked by the judges. Kelly, Mick, Curren, Bugs,
everybody. If J-Bay broke Andy, it’s cause he was ready to be
broken.
When the movie rolls into 2010 I was just mad at everybody,
anybody, who thought Andy should be back on tour. Friends, family,
sponsors. The guy is bipolar AND an addict. You can argue that in
the end it’s Andy’s decision, but I wanted to at least see somebody
from his inner circle say “We blew it, he never should have been
out there.”
Oh, another surprise. I’d forgotten that in 2004 they
won every contest between ‘em. That’s a rivalry. Compare AI
and Kelly to Gabriel and John John.
There’s no surfing rivalry to touch what Andy and Kelly had. Not
before, not since. Whoever the contenders are, Gabe and Julian,
Dora and Fain, take your pick, they’re all clustered together 25
miles behind Andy and Kelly.
Can you imagine if Andy had died in Padang in 1999? Or
if he didn’t get picked up by Billabong, found a way to channel his
genius, and become the juggernaut he was? Kelly may not have come
back on the tour, there would’ve been no pool, probably no WSL,
maybe no John John. His effect on professional surfing is profound.
Yes? Or you want to argue agains that posit?
No. I don’t have the imagination for the what-ifs. Can you
imagine if the sperm to the left had busted Danielle’s egg instead
of Andy? Etc etc.
I’m going to say that Kissed by God is the among the top
three surfing documentaries ever made, alongside Bustin’ Down the
Door and Sea of Darkness, in no order etc. Where are you going to
put it?
Surfwise is the Andy-Kelly of surf documentaries. Nothing else
is close. Surfwise is the only doc from our side of town that can
step in the ring with Man on Wire or Hoop Dreams or The Thin Blue Line. Of course, I’m partial
to old guys. Andy Irons is compelling, but Dorian Paskowitz in
Surfwise took me for a real ride.
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Arms race: Scotland to get Wavegarden!
By Chas Smith
Another territory ceded to Spanish innovation!
There was a time, not too long ago, when the
United States and the Soviet Union were locked in a race in
building their nuclear arsenals. It was an amusing game with fun
results though eventually the Soviets couldn’t afford to keep up
and the whole country collapsed. We are now seeing a similar drama
play out but this time between surf tank giants Kelly Slater Wave
Company and Europe’s Wavegarden.
Which will win and which will collapse? Very difficult to say at
this point. The KS Wave Co. seems to have a much better PR machine
for it is Surf Ranch that gets millions of views online. But while
people are watching Surf Ranch they are going to
Wavegardens from Wales to Austin and now Scotland too.
For it was revealed today that Wavegarden Scotland is being
developed in an old rock quarry near Edinburgh. Let’s learn!
The £10m project has been designed by landscape architects
HarrisonStevens, with engineering and technical consultation
provided by WSP, and planning and development advice by Colliers
International.
Alongside a world-class surfing facility, Wavegarden
Scotland also includes a surf school, self-catering luxury guest
lodges, a waterfront café and restaurant, retail spaces and a
snow-sports training jump.
Andy Hadden, the co-founder of Tartan Leisure, which is
developing Wavegarden Scotland, said: “We believe that this
facility will deliver many benefits for the local community and for
Scotland by offering world-class adventure leisure amenities
alongside a wonderful country park, for walkers, runners and
cyclists to enjoy.
“Another very exciting aspect of Wavegarden Scotland is the
opportunity to nurture surfing and sporting talent. With Scotland’s
own surfing team starting to make a mark on the global surf scene,
we hope to inspire the next generation of surfers, life guards, and
active outdoor enthusiasts.”
So I am very excited about the snow-sports training jump, for
one, and love the name Tartan Leisure, for two, and am very curious
about Scotland’s surfing team which is starting to make a mark on
the global surf scene.
We have a famous Scottish surfer here at BeachGrit, Mr. Chazz
Michael Michaels, and do you think he is on Scotland’s surf
team?
Very curious.
By the way, I went to Edinburgh once and liked the whisky and
the creepy castle in the middle of town and… liked… the overall
aesthetic.