"Oh my god! Holy fuck! He's gone!"
Ever wondered what it would look like if a pal was hit by a Great White? Well, here’s a little poem of the sea – just-released phone footage of yesterday’s second Great White attack near Margaret River.
It isn’t entirely pleasant viewing, although the surfer, Jason Longgrass’s survival, lack of substantial wounds and excellent post-attack interview do lighten the mood.
“Shark! Oh my god… holy fuck!… he’s gone…” says one spectator before, “No he’s swimming, he’s swimming, come on mate chopper’s coming back. Chopper’s coming back.”
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nah Jeffo, this bloke is a Derro (Dare-oh) not to be confused with a bogan.
please elaborate. what distinguishes these two archetypes? need my word choice to be on point the next time i surf this spot. thinking i can catch it uncrowded.
Actually… “Derro are widespread and are likely to be found in small bands throughout the Underdark. Derro warrens exist in many drow and duergar cities, and independent derro strongholds lie in the deepest reaches of the Underdark. Derro scouts and marauders search the areas near and around their settlements for victims to enslave and torment.”
In an attempt to make light of a VERY VERY heavy situation right when my fanta-sea smurf team were about to come into their own, get vicarious for a moment and acquire some Turp’s-vision for the upcoming Oi Rio Pro. Fark, I reckon he lives for this event. Potts would be well joed by 10.30, but Turpdo will be thriving, living getting as loose as humanly fucking possible. Look for that drug-addled glow come the 7am calls. He should be the guy in yellow.
How’s that kook posing with the bitten board, right after the bite happened? Looked like Alex Knost.
That’s what I thought!
That should be a criminal offence: selfie with a freshly bitten sled.
A nasty look at the very least.
Unless it’s yer own sled though eh?
In that case, yes, any post attack action would be acceptable.
With a name like Jason Longgrass you’d have to imagine he’s privvy to the occasional green lantern.
He’s a different species altogether.
Total legend though, just got sent in by a great white and the cunt looks like he just mainlined a kilo of oxycontin.
Can you imagine an American being that cool?
“Sent in by a Great White” – Do you always have to be so inspired? Give the rest of us a chance Long
Yes and yes.
Well they’ve just cancelled the rest of the comp. Lunacy
Was there a big swell coming? Is that why gabs and italo needed to say they felt unsafe?
Italo is such a puss when the waves get heavy. Such a Brazzo.
The only call that could be made really… Two attacks on the same day within a couple of Km’s of the event, beached whales (who then get towed around close to the coast by the genius of local authorities) and numerous shark sightings close to shore in the area due to salmon running. Any contest director that continued with the event would have to live with the consequences of anything going wrong.
Just what does this have to do with Pottz being world champ? (89)
It’s been a few days since a broadcast and I’m no longer sure Pottz is a world champ?
Although I’m not sure it would entirely calm my nerves if I were in the water, I did think “oh you could totally see a shark coming” with the overhead drone/helicopter perspective at Main Break. That WA water is so pretty.
he saw it coming alright and now we know slapping the water to scare off does not work.
Choppers coming. As in Chopper Read? To kill the shark? So confusing.
Is chopper the shark or blokes nickname?
Watched video and so many questions now about Australia.
1) My pop up video advert was a pornographically delicious looking chocolate lava cake. Is the lava cake native to Australia? If so why don’t you all weigh 80 stone? Is 80 stone a weight one might become from eating excessive lava cake?
2) Why does the Queen manage your news desk? I thought she was flush already.
3) The Prince Consort said the images might “be confronting” to some. Why do these people and those images have beef? Could blows be thrown?
4) The man shooting the video loudly yells “Oi!” over and again. To whom is he yelling? Do sharks speak almost-English? Does the man being attacked need to be made aware of his situation? Is that how God expects be addressed Down Under (Oi! Father, Oi! Art in heaven …)?
5) Why did no one paddle out to help the man? Does the back part of the My Brother’s Keeper neck tattoo say Terms and Conditions Apply, Not Valid in West Australia, Toothy Encounters Prohibited?
6) The man appears not to need first aid. Or is jokey chatter the Australian method of providing rudimentary medical assistance? Is applying direct pressure to a leg wound irrelevant as being upside down already elevates a leg wound far above the heart?
7) Was the man wearing that rugged leather hat the whole time, or did he think the moment of being nearly kilked by a white shark called for, more than anything else, a decidedly questionable fashion statement, and so put it on his head immediately upon exiting the water? And if so how did he get it? Is handing someone a rugged leather hat also fundamental to Aussie first aid practices?
Really though, lucky guy, seems to have some balls still not being afraid of sharks and taking it all in stride!
That clip gave me PTSD
#justanotherdayinwa
I’m totally shocked that DIY electrical work is far more dangerous than a GWS.
I’m totally shocked no one has riffed off his name. Longgrass… now what sorta genealogy does that reveal? From a line of lawnmower men?
Reminds me of the joke, How do New Zealanders find their sheep in Longgrass? Very satisfying!
Wincy did yesterday.
He did? I missed?
Damn, Dezza. You need to delve into the sharky depths of your own comments board.
Yes technically ‘you’ also liked it but that’s also when ‘he’ was ‘Justin’ not ‘Jason’ and so the clot thickens.
Yeah, I did mess that up. Is it a light dyslexia when you mix Justin and Jason up all the time?
Hmmm no. But you can say that so people don’t attack you. I use slight mental illness all the time as a defense.
‘Oh I’m a bit on the spectrum’
‘Oh sorry I forgot, it must be the dementia’.
‘Oh whoopsiedasie it’s my wind-farm syndrome’
Nah, me thinks that name would be Shorttgrass. Longgrass, well I will save the poor taste jokes to someone else who is more clever than I.
The true horror is in the fact that people still hold their phones vertically to take video.
It’s a country town! Their boy is getting lit up by a Great White. Cut ’em a little compositional slack.
Bonus points for the very hairy face!
I’ve put $10 on WA being the first Australian state to introduce DNA testing before marriage.
To make sure they marry their sister?
Marrying their sister is at least one better than marrying their children.
ANY PORT IN A STORM!!
Have you seen their new number plates? WA: STRIVE FOR 100% DNA
I saw the results of less than 100% DNA last night at a marginal neighbourhood shopping centre.
The horror… the horror.
That stud don’t make you proud to be Aussie?
do you have to pass or fail?
I’m Satan mate.
fair cop beelzebub
Please fix the link, maybe throw in some titties too. Thanks
Doesn’t work for you?
No, but it seems fine for everyone else. It’s my luck.
Oh you’re really missing it. The part where the shark, which is as big as a Honda Odyssey mini-van, becomes enraged and tears the board from under Longgrass’s… good god…
That gash not enough to get you going?